Idaho stares down at the miserable citizens of the land from the mountain he stands on, wondering how they can go through their boring lives without experiencing the joy that is the potato.
Oh, the beautiful, brown beauty known as Solanum tuberosum. Fuck corn, fuck wheat, and fuck rice! Weren't for the potato, many people would suffer from famine. Weren't for the potato, many recipes wouldn't have been born. Weren't for the potato, Mr. Potato Head would just be Mr. Head. And that would be sad. Very sad indeed.
Idaho can go on how wonderful the glorious potato is, but he rather show than tell everyone why they should worship a brown, beautiful spud. He brings up a spellbook in his hands, one he had purchased off Craigslist. Sure, he doesn't believe in magic and the occult. But the person on the site claims there is a spell within this ancient book that can summon anything. Anything. So, why not test that claim?
He places the perfect potato at the center of the summoning circle. Once that's done, he flips through the pages of the spellbook and finds the spell he wants to try out. He memorize the words and places the book down on the ground. He raises his hands up toward the gray sky. Out loud, he boldly chants, "Deus rusticae summon thy pluvia y snow! Mundus eorum pubesco apud potato!"
The skies darken and rumble in response. He watches the roaring clouds in anticipation for what may come. Falling from the sky, behold, a rainstorm of potatoes!
"Holy taters! That actually worked!" he exclaims in excitement. He grabs a couple of potatoes from the air. "Yes! Yes! Ahahahaha! The potato apocalypse is here! Hahahahaha!" He dances around the summoning circle while potatoes continue to fall all around him.
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"Gotta lose all this pączki weight," Indiana pants.
After jogging around the park for about ten minutes, she decides to take a break by the creek. While drinking a bottle of water, she notices a round object flowing down the current. She manages to pick it right out of the water. She makes a weird face.
'Did someone lose their potato?' she ponders.
Her eyes widen when she spots another potato floating in the river. She finds another. And then another. And another after that one. She count as many as thirty potatoes going down the river. Unless a farmer's truck crashed upriver, where were all these potatoes coming from?
"What is going- Aaaaah!" A barrage of potatoes fall on her head.
She runs off to find shelter with many questions on her mind.
~ Hetalia? ~
It's another cold day at Iowa's home. Cold weather means no corn which is very depressing for him. He stares out the window with a bowl full of popcorn, unhappily watching the snow pile on top of his barren farm.
"Why can't spring come sooner?" he whines. "I really want to start farming right away."
Ka-plunk!
He looks up at the ceiling in confusion.
Ka-plunk! Ka-plunk!
He looks out the window and sees a hundred potatoes fall like meteorites across his farm. He doesn't know what to make of this strange phenomenon.
"God, I know you mean well, but can it be cobs of corn instead?"
~ Hetalia... ~
"Heheheheh..." New Jersey snickers while writing a short message on a spud. He places the spud in a giant bag and hands it to the delivery man at his doorway. "Remember to ring his doorbell every fifteen minutes," he reminds them before handing them the money.
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America: 50☆Stars (Vol. 1)
FanfictionCalifornia becomes the Mayor of Hell. Texas solves problems with guns. New York has a rat infestation. And Florida does Florida... All in all, it's just a normal day for the 50 States of America. "America: 50☆Stars" is a Hetalia fanfiction series ma...