America: 50☆Stars (Vol. 1)

Episode 43: WBC vs. Wizard Wedding

June 7, 2015 ~ Topeka, Kansas

"Gay marriage is a sin!"

"America is doomed!"

"Dumbledore burns in Hell!"

"God hates Ireland and J.K. Rowling!"

"Harry Potter sucks!"

The small, yet raucous group of protestors belonging to the Westboro Baptist Church are causing another ruckus as usual, much to the ire of most Americans.

Kansas and Maryland watch their vileness from across the street, standing on the side where a rainbow colored house full of love and peace is about to host a beautiful wedding. Over two hundred people are in attendance, all of whom are doing their best not to pay any attention to the abhorrent words vomiting out of the ugly trolls that face their backs. The battle between love and hate wages on. Who'll win?

Maryland pulls a wand out of her Ravenclaw robe and points it at the pickets. "Confrin-"

Kansas of the Hufflepuff delegation grabs her wrist in a panic. "Nooo! What are you doing?!"

"Isn't it obvious? I'm going to put an end to this!" She raises her wand. "Con-"

"Don't let them get to you!"

She stops herself short from casting the curse. She grits her teeth. "... Avis!" 

A flock of Baltimore orioles conjures out of a blast of smoke. The black and yellow birds fly toward the protestors like miniature missiles, following the frightened haters as they flee from the avian nuisance.

Maryland blows the smoke off the tip of her wand before putting it back in the sleeve of her robe. "Love wins." She smirks.

She and Kansas return to the wedding going underway.

☆☆☆☆☆

The orchestra begins to play the "Harry Potter" theme as a gray bearded man in royal purple robes makes his way down the grassy aisle. The first group to cheer for their grandmaster are the Gryffindors who express their approval with loud excitement. Following their lead are the Hufflepuffs with a round of applause. The Ravenclaws simply watch with noble eyes; some smile when the wizard walked past them. As for the Slytherins, they also express their support now that their view on muggles has changed, allowing them to appreciate what their professor has done for their school. Purebloods, muggles, everyone in attendance express absolute joy seeing Albus Dumbledore walk down the aisle.

Once Dumbledore reaches the end of the aisle, the orchestra starts to play "The Lord of the Rings" theme. The lucky person to marry Dumbledore is also a bearded wizard, one from a different magical world. His robes are shining white like a bridal dress, matching the color of his hair and the staff he uses to support his walk down the green lawn. Accompanying him down the aisle is the ringbearer, a small creature known as a hobbit to most mortals and magical beings. But to Gandalf the White, he's Bilbo Baggins, a good, old friend who supported his decision to marry who he thinks will bring harmony to his long life on Middle-earth.

When both wizards meet face to face, the pastor, dawning a rainbow colored sash, appears before them behind the podium. He gestures the audience to take their seats and to remain quiet as he prepares to speak before the wizards. "To all present I say: We are gathered here, not to witness the beginning of what will be, but rather what already is. We do not create this marriage, because marriage is created in the hearts of two loving people. We can and do, however, gather to celebrate with Albus Dumbledore and Gandalf the White the wondrous and joyful occurrence that has already taken place in their lives, and the commitment they make today."

A couple of people from the crowd clap their hands.

He lets them clap before continuing to speak. "... Love had brought them from different realms, yet their feelings for one another remained the same. Against the destructive forces of evil, together they fought to bring happiness to the world around them. As committed as they were to bring balance to the landscape, they came before us today, seeking not only the continuation of their work toward peace but to affirm their loyalty toward one another. Having went through so much, they understood the choice to join in unity would be a powerful force that would protect their love and overcome the opposing darkness that wished to harm them. Should they vow to be by each other's side, it would be a momentous victory for everyone."

He turns to the White Rider. "Gandalf the White, will you have Albus Dumbledore to be your husband, and will you love him faithfully as long as you both shall live?"

"I do," says Gandalf.

The pastor looks to the other wizard. "Albus Dumbledore, will you have Gandalf the White to be your husband, and will you love him faithfully as long as you both shall live, recognizing that he has a tendency to come back from the dead?"

The audience chuckles at the last part.

"I do," says Dumbledore with a humble nod.

Bilbo Baggins presents the rings. The wizards place the rings on each other's ring finger before looking to the pastor for his approval.

The pastor softly smiles. "By the power invested in me, I pronounce the marriage between Albus Dumbledore and Gandalf the White."

The wizards place a peck on each other's lips. Together, Dumbledore and Gandalf turn to the cheery crowd with smiles underneath their thick beards. They walk down the aisle hand in hand, bringing joy to all who see their union, proving love has no boundaries. That love can cross different dimensions to become reality. No matter how dark and depressing things may be, love will always overcome hate.

Maryland wipes a tear from her eye. "This is the best crossover wedding in history," she sniffles. "Nothing can top this."

Kansas smiles. "I always love happy endings."

☆☆☆☆☆

+ The events that led to this crossover wedding resulted in a weird, yet satisfying story. It all began in May 2015 when the Republic of Ireland conducted the Marriage Equality referendum. Over 60% of the votes favored the passage of the Marriage Equality Bill, ensuring the recognition of same-sex marriage in a country where a majority of its citizens were Catholic. It was a huge victory for the LGBTQ community.

- In midst of that celebration, J.K. Rowling made a tweet that suggested Gandalf the White from "The Lord of the Rings" and Albus Dumbledore from "Harry Potter" could get married in Ireland. In response, the Westboro Baptist Church (W.B.C.), a religious organization known for hate speech as well as other spiteful activities, claimed they would picket if the wedding were to happen. To which, J.K. Rowling responded: "Alas, the sheer awesomeness of such a union in such a place would blow your tiny bigoted minds out of your thick sloping skulls."

+ When Aaron Jackson, founder of the nonprofit humanitarian organization known as Planting Peace, saw the tweets between J.K. Rowling and the W.B.C., he felt obligated to turn J.K. Rowling's idea into a reality. On June 7, 2015, Planting Peace staged the wizard wedding at the Equality House, taking place across the street from the W.B.C.'s headquarters. To quote J.K. Rowling, it was sheer awesomeness.

~

Feel free to vote and/or comment any thoughts on the episode here.