Trust || c.h.

Chapter 9

It had been four days. Four days of skipping work and avoiding Ashton. I was scared of what might happen if I let myself be around him. I was scared he would lie to me and not tell me and act like it never happened. I had stayed in bed all day everyday only getting up to use the restroom. Kayla had came to check on me everyday and tried to get me to eat even though it was no use. I was slipping into old habits of never eating. I was hungry all the time but I couldn't get myself to get up and go prepare anything or even lift a fork to my mouth of whatever fast food Kayla had brought me that night. 

The sun was setting and I could see the red and orange color filled sky through my window, flooding my room with the light hue. I heard my front door open and footsteps walk through the hall and closer to my door. I assumed it was Kayla since she had yet to check on me today so I turned so my back faced the door and pulled a pillow over my head. "I'm not hungry" I mumbled.

"Elsie?" His deep accented voice rumbled throughout my room and before I could say anything, the bed moved as someone else sat on the edge. I peeked from under the pillow I was hiding under and looked up to see Ashton sitting on my bed, worryingly looking down at me. "What's wrong? I haven't seen you in a couple days. How are you feeling? Our manager told me you had called in sick all week" He frowned, running a hand through his hair. 

I sighed and pushed the pillow off of me before sitting up to face him. "I haven't felt well" I lied, managing to stifle a cough to pull it off. 

"Do you need anything? Medicine? Soup? Banana?" He grinned cheekily, causing his dimples to pop out of his cheeks. I shook my head, looking down to avoid his gaze. 

Does he even remember?

Does he know that I know?

Why hasn't he told me already?

I sighed, pushing the thoughts out of my head before standing up and stretching my tired sore limbs. I grabbed a towel off a chair beside my bed and chewed on my cheek. "I'm going to go take a shower..." I trailed on, hinting at the fact that he should leave since he obviously wasn't going to tell me unless I pulled it out of him. He nodded and stood, leaving the room and walking down the hall. I didn't hear a door open or close but I walked into the bathroom, stripping my clothes off and walking into the shower letting the hot beads of water fall down my back.

After almost 20 minutes of standing in the water, I finally got out and wrapped the towel around my body and walking across the hall into my room in search of comfy clean clothes to put on. I picked a pair of demin shorts out of my dresser and a The Ramones cut off tank top out of my closet before walking into the kitchen where the smell of macaroni and cheese was coming from. 

Ashton stood in front of the stove, stirring what I guessed was noodles in boiling water. I sat on the breakfast stool watching him as he cooked. Why doesn't he just tell me already? Don't hide it right? Or it'll be worse..if he even remembers kissing someone else. 

"You like macaroni right?" He turned towards me before draining the cooked noodles through a strainer and putting the back in the pot. "Yeah its actually my favorite" I smiled softly and the thought of food but sighed lightly at he sight in front of me. I trusted him and he broke it. He tore it apart after he promised that he wouldn't. And he doesn't even know that I know.

"Good, I put something special in it" He grinned like a child as he set a plate of the now cheese, and mystery ingredient, topped noddles in front of me. I looked up at him curiously, "It's not bananas is it? Because that doesn't sound appetizing." He chuckled and shook his head, "No, just eat and you'll find out" I took a cautious bite of the food, carefully tasting all the flavors and textures. It was surprisingly good, but that might be my stomach just accepting anything the enters. I smiled in approval to Ashton before taking another bite. i couldn't tell what the other ingredient was but I liked it. 

Within a couple minutes I had finished the whole plate and felt nearly sick. Ashton sat on the stool across from me, watching me as I ate. I would have complained but I felt better physically since my shower and now I had food in my stomach. I might as well and take advantage to ask him. 

"So how was your night out with the boys the other night?" I spoke, rinsing off my dish in the sink.

Ashton seemed to freeze as he took in my words before playing it off like nothing happened. "It was fun, we all got drunk a little. We ended up going back to Luke's since he is the only one who can't drink." He ran a hand through his hair once more as I sat back beside him. "Did anything exciting happen?" I looked down, flipping my phone over and over in my hand. 

"I don't think so...I don't remember much." He looked around the room nervously. Is he lying?

"Ah, I tried to hang out with Kayla but she was with Luke. So I guess they all brought their girlfriends except you?" I got up, walking to the stove and cleaning out the pans that Ashton had to use to make the food. 

"Oh, uhm. Yeah they did but I thought it was just a guy night... I would have asked you to come if I had known." He pulled his lip in between his teeth as he looked in my direction. 

"Yeah, it's fine." I mumbled, not bothering to look at him. "You don't drink though so it wouldn't have been fun for you..." He dragged on trying to make it not sound as bad. 

"That's not the point, we could have spent the night together drunk or not." I rolled my eyes as I grabbed a knife from the counter to tightly causing it to cut along my palm. I cussed under my breath as I ran the fresh cut under cold water hoping he hadn't noticed. "I know Els" He sighed loudly. "Maybe it's good you didn't come though" He mumbled, looking down. 

"Yeah, maybe it's good I didn't" I rolled my eyes, tired of just playing games. 

He was in the middle of standing as his head snapped towards my direction, a worried look spread clearly across his face. "Do you..?" He knitted his eyebrows together. 

"If you're asking if I know, then yes. I do" I cluthed a dish towel in my palm against the fresh knife cut as I crossed my arms over my chest, facing Ashton. "I know what happened and I was hoping you would tell me but apparently I have to pull it out of you" I rolled my eyes, scowling at him from across the kitchen to him. 

"Els.." He begun before I cut him off. "No! Don't "Els" me" I mimicked his voice and rolled my eyes once more. "I trusted you! You promised me that you wouldn't hurt me" I pressed the towel into my palm further, putting more pressure to stop the bleeding. 

"Elsie. Please listen to me, it was a mistake. I had been drinking and I was missing you. You mean so much to me and I can't lose you. I won't ever drink again if that's what it takes. Please forgive me" He had tears welling up in his eyes now and I was starting to feel bad for being mad. "You have no idea how bad I feel, it's been eating away at me and I am so sorry" He let out a deep sigh and put his head in his hands.

What stops him from doing it again?

Once someone cheats, they will again.

Maybe he's different

Right? He has to be

Give him another chance

Even though he'll just hurt you again later 

I sighed, pulling the towel away from my hand and throwing it in the washing room. "Ashton.." I sat up on the counter and let my legs swing over the edge. Before I could start speaking again, he cut me off. "Look, Kayla and I were both drunk and not thinking and it just happened.." He trailed off, looking down. 

I felt my heart drop and my world freeze as the words left his mouth. I stopped swinging my legs and looked straight at him. "Kayla...and..you?" I bit the inside of my cheek hard to stop myself from crying. 

"Didn't she tell you..?" His eyes widened as he realized he was the one to break that part of the news to me and he bit his lip and stood, walking closer to me. "Elsie..I am so sorry" I pushed him away as he tried to hug me and walked behind him, backing against the wall near the hallway. "Kayla wouldn't do that. You're lying. She's my best friend and you..you are lying" I choked back sobs as I felt my body slump down the wall and everything I have crumple to the floor. Before I could even comprehend what was happening and what I had been told, everything went black.