Trust || c.h.

Chapter 14

A/N: WARNING! May be triggering and if it might affect you, skip to the end and read the authors note there! 

*Elsie's POV*

I walked out of the rehab center and quickly made my way to my car, opening the door and climbing in. I put my key in the ignition and started it, causing All Time Low to play throughout the car. Instantly I pulled my knees up to my chest and wrapping my arms around my knees. Ashton was in rehab. Rehab. Apparently this wasn't the first time either and I wondered what had happened to the girl before me..Calum kept talking about a girl almost dying and that scared me. What would have happened if I was her? Would I be here? What if Calum hadn't found out?

You deserved it.

Worthless shit.

You messed up.

No one wants you here

Waste of space

Kill yourself you whore

The voices. They were back. Shit. Shit. Shit. They couldn't be back. I switched my car's gear into reverse before pulling out of the parking lot and starting on my journey home.

Driving down the road they only got louder. The words got harsher.

You nasty slut

No wonder he cheated on you

Just cut yourself

Even your parents didn't want you

I turned the volume to the music louder as it switched to Green Day and sped my way home. Once I pulled into the small parking lot of the apartment complex, I stumbled out and and quickly ran up the stairs and fumbled with the keys to my apartment.

Down some pills

You aren't needed

You deserved it

I wanted to scream and once I finally made it into the apartment I ran to the bathroom and pulled open the drawer that held my blades. Empty. Fuck, I forgot he had gotten rid of them.

Shit.

I pulled open another drawer that held various pills I had gotten from hospital and doctors visits throughout the years and scanned through them, looking for the strongest pain killers I had. I found the bottle I usually use to knock myself out and groaned as it only had 2 left in the bottle. I poured them into my hand and knocked them back down my throat quickly before scanning the rest of the bottles. There had to be more right? I couldn't be out.

Just get a kitchen knife.

Drown in the bath.

I groaned loudly, "FUCK!" I screamed and leaned against the wall, the scars on my wrists started to itch and I scratched at them. I walked out of the bathroom and into my bedroom, sitting on my bed and still scratching at my wrists. By now they were red and near bleeding but the pain had subsided and I couldn't feel it anymore. Ashton was gone and I was still going insane. Why did this have to happen, why did I have to go up to his apartment and complain his loud music. Why did I have to ever meet Ashton fucking Irwin.

 I leaned my head against the wall, slamming the back of my head against the wall in attempt to get rid of the voices and kept scratching at my wrists. I began to get lost in my thoughts about what had happened and what would happen. What was going to happen? Ashton was gone for a couple months and I was able to move on, but what about when he came back? Would it go back to..this? What if rehab didn't help and he came back and beat me more? What then? Maybe I could move away, leave everything behind and move to another city. Maybe I could move on? Yeah right, if I didn't have trust issues before, I sure as hell do now. Even Kayla had hurt the trust I had for her and she was my best friend and who I moved to Sydney with in the first place. I couldn't leave her, that'd crush her..just like she crushed me by "drunkenly" having my boyfriend (for the first time in quite a long time might I add) cheat on me with her. What friend does that? 

I was pulled out of my thoughts by my bedroom door being thrown open by Calum and as soon as he saw me his eyes went huge, I furrowed my brows together in confusion and looked down and saw what he was looking at. Blood. It was coming my wrists and it was coating my fingertips and under my nails. I pulled my hand away and looked back at Calum who had been froze in place. His eyes were glued to the blood that coated my wrists and I soon went to stand up but as soon as I did my vision went black and I couldn't move. I could faintly feel my body start to fall forward but just before I hit the ground, strong arms were wrapped around me and sat me on the floor against my bed carefully. After a minute or what felt like it, my vision slowly came back and so did the ability to move my limbs and glanced towards Calum who was in my bathroom and wetting a wash rag. Once he had soaked it and rung it out, he made his way towards me carefully kneeling next to me and pressed the rag against my wrist. I flinched under the rag, the burning sensation instantly starting in my arm. I leaned my head against the bed frame and avoided looking at my wrists. I had scratched my arms until it bled..that was a new one even for me. I realized that nothing had been said since Calum arrived and before I could even think, my mouth spoke. "What are you doing here Calum?" I leaned my head to the side and looked at him. His face was hard, concentrated and his dark hair was falling in front of his eyes. It was only now that I realized that he had added blonde streaks to it. It looked nice, different but very nice. He looked up at me and I quickly looked back to the window that was on my wall. "You were screaming Els.." He looked at me confused and i felt my own eyes widen. Screaming? "W-what? No I wasn't" I shook my head and tried to think of what had happened. Was I screaming? I didn't remember it..  Calum let out a tired sigh and stood to go back to the bathroom in search for some wrap for my wrists. I pulled my knees up to my chest and wrapped my arms around them. What was wrong with me? Shouldn't I be happy that Ashton is getting help? Aren't I? Why was I reacting like this? I let out a sigh and let myself drift off to sleep while waiting for Calum to return. 

A:N/ Guys I'm so sorry I haven't been on lately! I've been busy with school and went to the WWA tour in Nashville! It was so mind blowing   I still can't believe it. Also, that was short.

Anyway: SUMMARY! If you skipped, basically Elsie drove home from the rehab center and the voices came back and then she scratched her wrists until they bled and then Calum came in and made her stop and bandaged her up before she fell asleep! I'm hoping to make this story more uplifting soon! 

ALSO! I'M WRITING A NEW STORY AND IT WILL INVOLVE PUNK MICHAEL YAAYYY, So I'll make sure to tell you about that as details come about! I'm so excited! I need name ideas so you can comment ideas! Or even yours if you like! 

I promise to update soon again! Don't forget to vote and comment because I feel like you guys never give feed back and it sucks because I don't know if you guys like this or not :(