Trust || c.h.

Chapter 16

*Ashton's POV*

This place isn't that bad I guess..

It has nice workers, nice people

They give you pills that help you calm down

I've only had..5 outbursts since coming here? 

But it still all boils down to one thing,

Rehab.

You see, last time I went to rehab was terrible. It was basically an old prison, we even slept in cells. We were giving a light tan jumpsuit to wear, slippers and socks and mediocre food. They woke us up by an alarm that sounded throughout the entire building, they made us walk in straight lines, we rarely got to go outside, and I'm sure you can imagine the rest. 

Here, it's different. We get to wear whatever we want (well, within a dress code), we get food prepared by an amazing chef, we get 3 hours a day where we can do whatever we want, including playing video games or going outside. We wake up whenever, just in time for our first meeting. Oh and the meetings? They are actually somewhat nice. We have group sessions every Monday, Wednesday and Friday and one-on-one's with a counselor every day. Then we have church on Wednesday nights and Sundays. Sundays are my favorite because we don't have any meetings, it's our rest day. We have activities on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays that bring everyone together and we just hang out, like movie nights or bonfires. It's really nice. I've made a couple friends but I usually like to keep to myself. 

I was pulled out my thoughts by my name being called, "Ashton!" Jesse called, her long black hair falling over her shoulders. 

Jesse Kaelin. 18. Overdosed and attempted suicide. Been here for 18 months. Description? Long black hair that went to the middle of her back, dark tan skin, 5'8, piercing green eyes. Yeah, she's nice to look at, no we don't flirt at all.

"What Jesse?" I grumbled, setting my face into my pillow. It was Saturday so that meant it was a activity day. It was also the day where we had a huge bonfire, saying goodbye to all the people who were getting released this month. 

"It's time for the bonfire" She laughed, walking over to me and sitting on my back. "Mallory and Jack are leaving tonight." Jack was an asshole who thought he could get any girl and was an ex-alcoholic and Mallory was this nerdy girl who barely anyone knew and was extremely anti-social.

"Ugh fine: I groaned as I sat up, causing Jesse to fall off of me and she crossed her legs sitting on the end of my bed. I walked to my closet and pulled a plain black hoodie over my head, and pulling on black skinny jeans with a hole over my left knee cap and pulled on black and white vans. I ran my fingers through my hair as I tied a blue bandana around my forehead. 

"Okay, let's go" Jesse nodded and we left the room. 

We made our way outside to where everyone was gathered around a huge fire. There were only 40 people here currently so it wasn't to many, it was nice. 

"Ashton hey!" Blake ran up to me, engulfing me in a man hug. All 3 of us made our way to the fire and sat on a log, as soon as I did I realized that there was a new face sitting near the counselors. "Who's that?" I looked over to Blake and Jesse, raising a brow. Blake shrugged and Jesse grinned, "Her name is Sophie, I'm not sure why she's here but it's her first day. "She's hot huh?" Jesse smirked, running her eyes over the new girl's body.

Blake and I chuckled, "It's so great having a gay girl around" Blake spoke, his country accent thick. "Yeah it comes in handy."

Jesse smacked his chest, shooting him a glare, "Lesbian. Gay is for guys, lesbian for girls. If you're unsure, it's homosexual" She rolled her eyes as she got up and walked to where the smores materials were. 

-

After the bonfire, we said goodbye to Mallory and Jack and they both left with their bags and tears in their eyes. Now it was time for bed since there would be group sessions tomorrow morning. Maybe then we could learn more about the new girl.

I made my way back to my room and pulled off the tight black jeans and my sweatshirt before climbing into the small twin size bed. There was an empty bed on the other side of the room but no one had come in yet to occupy it. On my half of the room, there were band posters covering the walls, a stack of CD's, clothes lying across the floor. The room came stocked with a twin size bed, a desk and chair, and a desk lamp. It was empty honestly, it didn't feel like home.

I laid in my bed, pulling the sheets over my almost bare body and switched off the light. Oh, on top of my ability to not be able control my anger, I have developed insomnia. I can't sleep. I stay awake all night and the scared faces of Elsie run through my mind non-stop. 

I hate myself. I don't deserve her or any girl. I don't know why I can't control the anger, it just over takes me and I black out sort of. The anger over takes me and I black out, only to wake up with cries coming from the bathroom and blood under my fingernails, but it's never my own blood. It's always someone else's. I wish it was my own, than I wouldn't hurt the others around me so badly. I feel bad about what I did but even when I wasn't mad, I'd go check on Elsie to make sure she wasn't trying to leave me. That was my biggest fear, her leaving me. Now she's probably cuddled up with..him. Since the beginning Calum has tried to steal my girl. He always flirted with her or touched her and I thought nothing of it because I trusted her. But I didn't trust myself. Now I've hurt her and she's gone and I don't know if I'll ever get her back. And that's what scares me most. 

-

I walked into group session, this one only had 10 people and it was all the newer people, including the new girl. 

I re-positioned my maroon The Ramones muscle shirt and sat in one of the metal chairs that were in a circle. The counselor, Amanda sat at the top of the circle, a bright (very annoying) smile plastered on her face and to her right was the new girl. Blake was in the group with me since he came only a week before I did. 

Soon, the entire group was here and Amanda started the hour long session. "Okay!" Her high chirpy voice begun, " Well guys, this is Sophie. She's new so let's all make her feel welcome." "Hi Sophie" Everyone groaned as it was a Monday morning and it was like night and pouring outside. Sophie gave a small wave and smile to the group and Amanda laughed to happily, motioning for Sophie to stand. "Sophie, tell us about yourself." Sophie nodded and stood silently, "Well, I'm Sophie Thomas, I'm 17 and I'm addicted to heroine." She shrugged like it was no big deal and took her seat. I scoffed at her description, running my eyes over her face carefully. She looked like the quiet girl that no one paid much attention to, not the girl who was addicted to a Class A drug. "Ashton, do you have something you would like to add?" Amanda, raised a brow at me. In the little time we had known each other, she had developed a hate for me since I always spoke my mind in her presence and she didn't take a liking to that. 

I smirked as I sat up straighter, fixing my usual black skinny jeans.  "She could do better than that" I stood up from my seat and looked down at everyone in their seats. "I'm Ashton Irwin, I play drums for a band, we're supposed to be touring with One Direction as soon as I get out of here and I'm here because I have anger problems. Hence the drums" I rolled my eyes and sat back down, placing one of my ankles on the other leg's knee. 

Blake nudged my with his elbow and I glanced over to him as he gave me a 'What the fuck was that' look but I shrugged it off and turned my gaze to Sophie who was now standing once more, "FIne, Ashton," She spoke my name bitterly, "I'm Sophie Thomas, I don't have any friends or money because I used it all on drugs, I'm only here because it was this or jail and I have a bitter hate towards most people." She glared at me and I smirked back to her, "See, that's what I'm talking about." Everyone around us had their mouths wide open and their eyes huge. "Well alright.. let's continue shall we?" Amanda smiled, trying to get rid of the awkward tension that had settled around the room and continued the session. 

A/N: Ashton's POV yay! I hope this was alright, I'm sorry I haven't updated in a week! Don't forget to vote and comment :D