EVERY BREATH

E I G H T

It's been two months since I've seen him. I miss him already but I know that I have to learn to live without needing anyone. I heard the news of him. I know he has his own part of they're family business. I know that he's over me. I wish things were different but there not. While I'm here crying myself to sleep needing him, craving him, he's out there enjoy himself with his new girl. I hate the feeling of wanting something but not being able to have it. He was everything to me but now I need to move on and I will no matter what I have to do.

Prom was last month and Josh helped a lot so I'd have fun and I honestly did have fun. He helped me figure out what college I want to go to. He helped me get my head out of that dark place. I couldn't ask for a better friend. Graduation is tomorrow and then I'm free to leave this town filled with memories I hope to leave behind.
~~~

Just a little after graduation I got a part time job so it could help pass the time. I work at a vet clinic in the front desk helping clients.

I hear the front door open so I look up and it's Alex I emidiatly start to panic why is he here? Then I see the dog and I know why the dog is bleeding badly so I emidiatly get up and go see what I can do.

"Bring him in here please" I say nervously. He does as I say and the vet takes him into the operation room. He wants to go in but I ask him to stay out so the vet can do his job and he obliges.

I get him a water and I notice all the guys with him why does he have so many body guards. His voice interrupts my thoughts "thanks" his voice is deep and stern.

"No problem" I say but it's berly a squike.

He gives me a smile and the guys around him look at him like if he had grown a second head. As I walk away I hear one of the guys say "I don't think I've ever seen him smile" and I just want to leave so I do. I go into the back since it's my lunch break and I look at my sandwich but I don't want it I've been feeling nauseous lately I can't keep anything down.

I just pick at it and don't eat it. I hear the door open and Alex is standing in front of me with another guy behind him. "What's the matter love not hungry?" He says.

"I um...I don't know I can't keep anything down lately" I scrunch my nose up and tell him like he cares.

"Maybe you're not eating the right stuff. Let's go I'm going to take you out to eat" he says and I don't get it everyone is scared of him why is he being so nice. And most importantly what is he doing in the break room. Did he come to look for me?

"No thank you" I say and the guy behind him gives me a warning look. Alex on the other hand shrugs it off and chuckles.

"It wasn't a question love" he says.

"I need to work I can't" I say.

"It doesn't matter no one defies me in this town. So you'll go with me to lunch" he says and I realize why and how much I dislike him.

"I'm not going I need this job and I don't even know you l" I say trying to keep my calm.

"A. You'll keep your job and B. Everyone in this and the other towns around us knows who I am. I'm spade" he says getting cocky. I can't see straight I feel disoriented. He keeps talking but I can't really make out what he's trying to say and everything goes black.
~~~
I open my eyes and look around all I really know right know is that I'm in a hospital bed, but it doesn't look like an ordinary hospital room. There's a lady looking at her computer screen and when she picks up that phone she speaks saying that I have awaken.

"Where am I?" I ask.

"Spades house" she says and we both turn at the sound of the door being opened. Alex walks in.

"You're up. Great" he says and turns to the lady on the computer and asks "what's wrong with her?"

"She's pregnant and on the early stages that's why she fainted but another reason is she looks unourished, she needs to start eating healthier or that baby won't survive" she says.

I look at Alex and start panicking this baby can't be anyone else's but James's and if he knows he's not gonna be happy. Fuck I have to get out of here. "Can I leave now?" I ask looking at Alex.

"You heard her you have to eat your not eating well enough to leave" he States.

"I'll eat at home can I please go I need to be home soon" I say anxious to leave this place.

"The only way you're leaving is if you eat so come on" he says already walking to the door.

"Congratulations" she says typing on her computer.

"Thanks" I say with a fake smile and the turn to look at Alex and say "Fine but can you promise me you won't tell anyone" I ask and he nods. On our way to his kitchen the front door opens and I emidiatly make eye contact with a familiar pair of green eyes except these look dead with no life left in them.