EVERY BREATH

T H I R T E E N

When we get home I look Alex and give him a tired look. He smiles and Carry's me to the room. He lays me down on the bed. I wonder what went through James's head when I said we were having a baby boy. I take a deep breath and frown.

"What's going on in that beautiful head of yours?" Alex asks.

"I want to tell you something but I don't because I know you'll be mad. I wish I could tell you without a problem" I say.

"You can. I would never ever judge you lily haven't I proven it to you yet?" He says.

"Yeah, but this is delicate news. It's not something I can just say without any caution" I say.

"Well then back it up start from the beginning. I promise I won't overreact and I always keep my word" he says.

"Okay then. The very beginning of this all started two months after my parents died. I was overwhelmed this day, and I decided to go to the field under the bleachers to hide away so no one could see me cry. I didn't notice I had company. He looked at me and said I looked like someone. I didn't really care at the time but know I know who he was talking about. We hit it off really well. He said we couldn't tell anyone about our relationship so we kept it a secret till the end. I loved him so much Alex I really thought we were going to last but we didn't. I got pregnant. The guy I'm talking about Alex is, James your brother" I Finnish telling him.

"Fuck" he says grabbing his head. I can tell he's trying to hold himself together so bad. I don't know what to do. "Why the fuck have you two not talked to me. I have been looking like a fucken idiot introducing you to each other. I should have known I mean he was practically jumping from joy when you said the baby's gender. I mean what the fuck is wrong with me he was flirting with you the whole time today!" He screams. "Just tell me one thing lily. Have you been going out with me just to be close to my brother? And please don't fucken lie to me. At least be honest with me. I have been an open book to you. And only you lily. I have trusted you please don't let me down right now" he says.

"I have never tried getting close to you just to be close with him. We broke up we're done. The only reason I agreed to even give myself a chance with you is, because I have gotten the chance to get to really know you. You have no idea how much I appreciate to have you in my life. You have been there for me through out the whole pregnancy and I'm extremely thankful. I didn't tell you who the baby's father was because I didn't even want him to know I was pregnant. I did not have the intention of telling anyone because I was ashamed. You have been so amazing to me, so if I'm here with you it's because I want to. There's no other reason than because i want to be with you Alex" I say walking up to him and kissing him. I can feel the wave of relief wash over him and I'm glad.

He puts his forehead on mine and says "I love you and I'm scared because last time I wasn't corresponded to. I'm scared because I don't want to lose you. I always want to be with you" he says.

"I promise you Alex that as long as we're together I will do my best to show you my love and gratitude for you. I don't plan on making you suffer because I love you too" I say with all honesty. Even though I don't love him like I love James, I do love him in the sense that I don't want to lose him from my life. He gives me a big smile that I can see the dimples I never knew he had.

He picks me up and spins me. "Alex the baby!" I scream.

"Sorry, I'm just so happy. You, have made me the happiest man alive today" he says. When he puts me down I feel sick like I want to throw up and my head is killing me.

"I'm so tired and I have a huge head ache" I say grabbing my head.

"Lily!" Is all I hear before I black out.