EVERY BREATH

F O U R T E E N

I wake up to a bright light above me and I flinch. I feel so disoriented. I feel my belly and make sure my baby is fine. I look around and noticed I'm at a hospital someones sleeping on my arm. I follow the arm to see who it is. I recognize the person as Alex and smile. He's sleeping on my arm and it feels numb. There's a wire attached to my chest which is weird.

"Alex" I shake him and his head flies up almost hitting me.

"You're awake" he says.

"Yeah" I say scooting over. "Lay down on the bed. That chair looks uncomfortable" I tell him and shakes his head so I grab his arm. He complies and lays down on the bed grabbing me close to him. He's pretty big so he takes up most of the bed. "What's wrong with me?" I ask him and snuggle in with him.

"The doctors say the baby is over eating which means you're unhealthy that's why you fainted. Also they think we might have to chose during delivery. They don't think your body will take it when it's time. He's taking too much of your strength lily" he says and I see the worry in his eyes. I know what's going on in his head but I don't think I can choose between my life and the babies. I have no doubt in my mind that his life is more important.

"It's okay Alex. We'll figure it out" I say trying to calm him down.

"No I know what your choice is and I don't know if I could handle loosing you. I know it's your choice and all but you have to know that people will suffer especially me. I don't know what I'd do without you. I think I'd go insane" he says.

"I understand you but my baby is my top priority. I'm not going to kill my baby, just so that I can live that would selfish of my part. He's a little human being, it's not his fault that we're in this situation" I tell him

"I know lily. Let's just hope it doesn't come to that" he says and hugs me tightly.
~~~
I'm woken up by the door opening. I don't open my eyes because I think it's the nurses again. I listen closely and it James. I open my eyes and see Alex and James talking in the corner. I panic thinking about what they're talking about.

"What's wrong?" I ask.

"Nothing" they say in unison. I furrow my eyebrows in suspicion. Alex sits by my side leaving the chair open for James.

"How are you feeling?" James asks.

"I'm feeling good" I say. I feel weird for some reason like I can't talk to him. He's acting extremely weird. "Alex knows, you can say whatever you want. Please give us your opinion I know Alex told you what's going on" I say.

"What do you mean Alex knows?" He asks.

"I know you're the baby's father Ace" Alex buds in.

"Wow, you told him... wasn't expecting that" he says nervously grabbing his knees. "Look I'm sorry this is all my fault" he says.

"No it's not. This couldn't possibly be your fault James" I say.

"Yes it is, I did this to my mom now this baby is doing it to you" he says.

"What do you mean?" I ask.

"When i was being brought into this world. My parents knew the risk. So when my mom was having me they made her chose and she chose me like any mother would. She died having me because I was over nourishing. Im the reason my mother died. And now I'm the reason your in this situation too" he says.

"I don't blame you James" I say and I lift my self up and grab his hand. I see how uncomfortable Alex is but his brother is suffering over and he's getting jealous.

"I don't know what to do in this situation" he says.

"If I'm being honest this is the first time since I've been pregnant that I know I love this baby more than my own life. I may not get to see him grow up but I know he will be in great hands. I know that the both of you will protect him from everyone and everything" I say with a smile.