EVERY BREATH

S I X T E E N

(I tried to be creative and whatnot but I think it came out a little wonky. Don't judge my skills lmao jk.)

Today baby Elijah turns 6 months. I'm sitting at home with him in my arms. I look at him and I see all my happiness. There were many days where I admit to wanting to give up but this mini human being has made every single moment in my life worth it. He's a happy baby, but still he's a lot of work. I love when James comes to see him because I see how gentle and caring he is with him and it makes me happy. He stairs at him the same way I do. He's such a blessing to have. I know Alex loves Elijah but I also have noticed that since I told him the baby was James's he's different. I've seen him distance himself a little bit, like he feels left out and doesn't want to say anything.

I hear a knock at the door so I go to open it with Elijah on my waist. I open it and it's James with Luna.

"Can I carry him?" She ask with such innocent it sounds sweet coming out of her mouth.

"Of course, I don't think you guys have met" I say. "Luna this is Elijah. Elijah this is Luna" I say while passing him to her. Elijah starts babbling and giggling. "I swear this baby boy is such a flirt" I say. We all walk to the living room

"I see he got a brand new tooth" James says tickling him and Elijah starts giggling.

"Yeah, I stayed up all of Wednesday with him. He was in pain all night" I say.

"My poor stinker" he says looking over at Elijah.

"Have you seen Alex by any chance?" I ask.

"No, I heard he was in Austin, Texas. I'm getting worried the last time he left to Texas it was bad" he says and I just begin to worry more than I already was.

"I'll check in on him later" I say with a fake smile.

"Don't worry I'm headed there tommorow. I was beginning to worry to so that's why I planned this trip" he says.

"Let me go with you" I say.

"I wouldn't like you going it's too dangerous Lily. He'd kill me if I ever toke you" he says.

"James, that's was more of a statement not a question. Sorry" I say with sarcasm.

"I miss you" he says and then looks away. I smile because I know it slipped out. "Can I have a turn to carry my son now?" He says taking him away from Luna.

"Can I use your bathroom?" She asks.

"Yeah it the only door in front of the stairs" I say. she says a thank you and heads to the bathroom.

"Are there cameras in this house?" James asks standing up and looking around with Elijah in arms.

"On the outside but that's it why?" I ask curiously.

"Stand up" he instructs and I do a he says. When I stand up he grabs the back of my neck with his free hand and kisses me. I grab his face and drown my self in his kiss. I quickly realized what I'm doing when I hear the bathroom door open. I push him away and look at him.

"You can't do that Ace, your married" I swallow down the need, want, or whatever it is I'm feeling. He just messed me up. That kiss was like an addiction and im craving him like crazy again. I can't crave him anymore. I have to control myself.

"You haven't called me Ace since the end of your freshman year" he says clearly hurt. Luna walks back in.

"That's what everyone calls you, isn't it?" I say.

"Lily, don't please" he says.
~~~
When we get on the private jet James goes straight to the pilots room. I sit down and begin to call Luna to see how Elijah is doing. When I hang up the phone James comes out and sits in front of me.

He gives me a smile and my heart begins to pound in my chest. "We had to of done something right if we created the most perfect human being ever" he says.

"James" I say to stop him.

"I don't know what to do Lily. I try so hard to keep everyone happy. I feel as if the only ones hurting are you and I. Everytime we have an opportunity to be alone you just push me away why?"  He says.

"Because James don't you see what's happening. Alex is also suffering because I can't love him the way I love you. I push you away because if I let you kiss me I crave so much more. Your brother is a victim in this game we're playing. At the end everyone looses" I say.

"I can't anymore Lily I promise you im trying so hard to get you out of my head. Everytime I kiss Luna it's your lips I taste. Everytime she touches me it's your touch I feel. Everytime I look at her it's your face I see. I can't get you out of my head, fuck I can't get you out of my heart babe" he says.

"You don't think the same happens to me? Shit, James I struggle twice as hard your brother looks like you not like a twin like but you have similar features. Elijah is a spitting image of you. I look at alex and crave you James. When Alex kisses me I wish it was you. When Elijah smiles I see your goofy smile too. Im trying here James and it's difficult but we can't keep hurting Alex nor Luna" I say.

"I wish you could let me touch you, kiss you, and have you" he says.

"No, it's not right" I say and I get up to go to the bathroom because I don't want to look at him.

He gets up too and grabs me by my waist pushing me towards the door of the bathroom. "Tell me you don't want me to touch you" he says grabbing the side of my face, and getting closer so our faces are an inch away. "Tell me you don't want me to kiss you" he says making our lips berly touch each other. "Tell me you don't want me to make love to you" he says picking me up and pushing his hips against me.

I am flooded with so much desire that I go numb to any other feeling's. I grab his neck and kiss him. I push my hips against him and feel this warm and fascinating feeling just below my stomach. He walks towards the couch and sits down with me on his lap. I keep pushing my hips up and down so he feels the friction and keep both hands on his neck kissing him. "Fuck me..." he says throwing his head back moaning.

He grabs me and puts me under him harshly. He unbuttons his pants and pushes them down and I take off my underwear. He grabs my hips adjusting them so he can put himself inside of me. When he puts his length inside of me I can't help but moan. It feels so much better than I remember. "Fuck, your perfect" he breaths out. All of my insides tingle as I anticipate him.