Gintama; Takasugi X Reader (part 2) [Save Me]

Chapter 6 {Shizuka Senya}

Stars twinkle around the moon. Night has fallen sometime ago, and yet I see no trace of Y/N. She usually comes back from work around evening. I wonder if some tasks are keeping her late.

I move to turn off the tap and hook the water hose over a branch. I'll just prepare dinner now so that she can dig in once she returns. Y/N must be starving by now.

Just as I walk to the corner of the backyard to retrieve some firewood Momo barks from the front gate. And following it is a slam of the door. It isn't like Y/N to be treating things aggressively. Worried, I decide to climb into the house.

The first thing that greets me is the sight of her curled up on the floor, face buried to her knees. I hurry over to her. "What's wrong?" I ask, baffled. Her whole body is shaking when I put my hands on her shoulders. She's crying, hard.

Not knowing what to say, I instead bring my arms about her. She clutches to me so desperately that I barely get enough air. The Y/N I know is always so composed and elegant. What could bring her to this state? Her breath hitches. I stroke her back in a soothing manner.

We stay this way for a long moment until she finally calms down. Then I reluctantly unwind my hands and draw back. She looks terrible. Her face is strained in tears and her eyes are swollen. The hairpin in her bun looks on edge to fall with stray locks of hair sticking out of place. Y/N wipes her face with the back of her hand.

"You're a mess. Go shower and I'll have dinner ready, okay?" I tell her, trying to sound cheerful.

She responds later with a nod. She gets up. Her arms won't unravel from her body as she makes her way to the bathroom outside.

_________________

We eat our meal in silence. One glance at Y/N and I know she's forcing herself to eat. The way she swallows is almost hard to watch. If she was despairing right when she came back, now that she's cleaned up she appeared to be more exhausted. Y/N stares blankly at the floor as she chews. I can't stand it anymore.

"Y/N," I start, breaking the quietness. She stops chewing and looks up to me. "Did something happen at work?"

For a moment I think she's going to ignore the questions. Then she simply says, "I'm not going to work anymore."

Puzzled, I ask after a thought, "Were you mistreated badly?"

Her eyes snap to mine for a second before lowering down. "Hmm."

Just as I thought. "It was the Lord's assistant right?" I say, irritated. "I heard that old man would spend endless amount of time on scolding those he doesn't like. There were plenty like you who eventually quit the job. So don't ta-"

"No." Y/N's expression turns troubled. "It's not his assistant," she says. "It's himself."

"Himself? What do you mean?"

"He-" Her sudden stop makes me think if she's bitten her own tongue. But that doesn't seem to be the case. She places her rice bowl to the floor and sets the chopsticks at the rim. Y/N doesn't meet my gaze. Her fingers clasp her forearms until they turn white. "He approached me."

I blink at her several times, trying to make sense of it. When I do, I can barely contain the joyful shock from my voice. "You mean he's after you?" I ask, a little too loud. I put my own chopsticks down and gape at her.

Y/N's sullen's face holds a measure of repulsion. "I refused him," she mutters to her lap, "and yet he still tried to..." Her jaws clench taut. "I never want to see him again."

Pleasantness falls from my face at her reaction. What could possibly be so wrong? I want to ask her, but my mind is still picking sides. Would the Mayor, who does all he can for the villagers and is in turned loved by them, turn out to be that sort of person? Or Y/N, now embracing hate out of love?

"Why did you refuse him?" The question leaves me before I can help it. Y/N turns at coldness of my voice. "You could've accept him if he loves you. He'll give you a life without worries. You can go to your parents and back here whenever you want. You can do whatever you want."

She scoffs. It sounds more sad rather than derisive. "Not this life," she says quietly. Her distant expression is enough of a confirmation for me to assume what she means.

A flash of rage sweeps over me. "It's that man, isn't it? That Takasugi Shinsuke." I shoot upright and snap. "What's so good about him when you have to risk your life just to stay with him? What had he ever done for you? He's nothing but trouble! You have to let go! Because he's not coming back to you even if you keep up like this."

Y/N stares up at me, surprised at my sudden outburst. Maybe this is the first time I've really snapped.

She doesn't argue back right away, nor does she look offended. Again she averts her eyes to her thighs. From this point she simply seems...sad.

"I can't," she whispers, and shakes her slightly as if the reminder of him brings her physical pain.

Seeing her withdrawn self sends shame flooding my throat after anger subsides. The deeper her words rings into me the more they threaten me to tears. Who am I to say those things to her? I don't know that man. I can't perceive what she feels for him, or even more, how deep he's managed to reach into her heart. It's too selfish of me to push the things I wish onto others just because I can't have them.

I sit back down. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that."

Y/N looks at me and tries to smile a bit. "It's fine," she says, picking up her chopsticks and bowl. "Let's eat."

I nod.

Once again, we continue our dinner in silence. But unlike before, it's a comfortable silence that allows our thoughts to freely flow. My cooking seems to taste better now as Y/N eats.

Outside, I catch a shuffle of something before Momo's barks explode twice in the backyard.