• "I spent my entire life getting hung up on a person when someone better was just waiting to be discovered."
"Don't worry, I understand. It took me awhile before I realized I could have you instead."
Damn. I love you. •
Please read this chapter with the music above when you reach the marked paragraph with an asterisk.
Ari's POV
"Ari!" Y/N yells from the bedroom, I went back on the bed after I went to the bathroom.
"Yes babe?" I said freely.
"Oh my God it sounds so refreshing when I say that."
"Yeah, it better be and please explain these two very, very, provocative pictures that I cannot tolerate." She holds up her phone that was on Instagram and showed it to me.
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"Ohh, those." I said with no expression on my face.
"Read the caption, it kinda explains everything."
"Okay, so I know that you've wasted time just doing these photos but CAN YOU NOT MAKE MY HEART PUMP LIKE THIS ARI? Mornings aren't supposed to be like this okay?" She says with her looking directly at me as she sat upwards with her back towards me.
"Sorry BABY." I emphasized the word baby as I laugh repeatedly while I waited for her reaction. She turns around and holds my face as she gave me a quick kiss.
"You better be goddamn grateful that I'm here. Now, i have to go make breakfast for us. I'll tell you when breakfast is ready." She tries to get up but I held her hand.
"Stay."
"I know you're hungry."
"Please."
"Later, babe."
"OH MY GOD DID YOU LITERALLY JUST--" I placed my hands on my eyes as I laughed, she sounded so adorable saying babe that I wish she would just stay with me!
"Yup, now bye!" She says as she gets out of the room as I hear her light footsteps going downstairs.
*I open my phone and went to my gallery. I saw our picture together at the cinemas. I made it my lockscreen and closed my phone.
I closed my eyes and thought about my relationship with Y/N.
I don't know...
It feels like I'm just forcing myself to love her.
The thing is, it's hard to move on from a person you've been with for four years straight for college. I miss her... So f*cking much, and I don't want to hurt Y/N just because of me being selfish...
I think I should tell her. I can't keep all these feelings to myself.
Maybe then... We could figure something out.
It just really feels like I'm not ready yet, and my heart still beats for my ex... What I'm doing to Y/N feels so wrong. It feels like I'm using her just to move on... And I don't want to do this to her because she's so unique and important.
I went downstairs and she looked at me, confused.
"I'm not done cooking yet?..."
"Can we talk about something?" I decided to just tell her straight ahead because if this ends up going somewhere wrong, I don't want to take advantage of her or get a free meal or something.
"You can eat, it's alright. I just really need to get something off my chest."
"What is it?" She says as she fully faces me after she turned off the stove. She crosses her arms but looks at me with a small smile.
"I... I think I-" I didn't get to control my words, it felt like it wasn't right to do this, and I know it would just hurt the both of us if I continued.
"I think I need some time."
"Time to...?"
"I don't want to hurt you, because I feel like I'm using you just to move on, and the fact that I'm doing that feels horrible for both you and me."
"I... I understand."
"I'm sorry... I just need some time."
"No... I know you wouldn't love me even after you've already moved on. It sucks like hell but i have to admit it." She says as I saw a tear run down her eye, she bites her lips for a moment and looks down, trying to think of what to say next.
"I understand, Ari. I'm sorry for forcing myself on you. You don't deserve someone like me, a clutz, an embarrassment, and a disappointment." She says as she passes me and walks to the dinner table where she picked up her keys to the front door.
"No wait--"
"I'm gonna come back, I promise."
"You don't have to tell any lies, I get it. Thank you for thinking of my feelings and telling me sooner." She fumbles with the keys while I went over to her and turned her away from the front door.
"This is gonna be the last time I'll see you, isn't it?"
"No! I want you... And I want this to continue but can you please just wait for me to be ready?"
"I love you Ari. But I know your feelings aren't changing. Maybe she really is the perfect one for you. Either way, I hope you find true love. I tried but it wasn't me I guess."
"Stop saying these things! I love you too!"
"Then why do you still need time? Can't you just stay for awhile? Or maybe it's just my fault? I'm trying to fight for my love for you but it feels hopeless since I'm the only one fighting." Tears continued running down her face as my voice becomes shaky.
"You don't love me, Ari. Let's just be completely honest about that." She opens the front door.
"I love you, but I need time, I don't want to hurt you." I pushed the front door.
"Then just go." She let's go of the door handle and pushes pasts me as she looks back and waits for me to go.
"I'll come back."
"Stop saying that when you know you're just lying."
"I love you. I hope you realize that whatever you said wasn't true, and that I'll really come back for you. You're like my missing piece but I'm still recovering. Goodbye Y/N.
I left her place knowing that it was the best thing to do in that situation, I didn't want to hurt her any longer
What the hell have I done?
I miss her more than my ex now.
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A/N
Please listen to Never Not and Enemies! Sorry that I missed my uploading schedule yesterday, I was just really tired. Please go on his channel to be notified when he goes live on YT!
