(DISCONTINUED) blue boy. // Lauv x Reader

10. i feel so cold

Your POV

I went upstairs and went on my bed after I locked the front door. I hugged my pillow tight while tears ran down my face and onto my pillow. I still smell his scent from where he was on my bed, but everything is different.

It's so much more colder now.

I miss him.

I grabbed my phone and I saw my wallpaper of him. I decided to change it and text Sara.

"Hey"

Was what I was about to send, but I think I need some space.

I went downstairs when I was ready, I ate breakfast and cleaned the whole place. My whole mind was blank, I couldn't think about anything else other than what happened but I can't think about it without crying. After I cleaned the whole kitchen and dining area, I close the lights and went upstairs.

I noticed that he left his hoodie on the floor and I began to think of what to do.

Should I keep it or?...

I think the best thing to do is just give it back to him. Even if it sucks and burns like hell, I have to. I gotta return the hoodie that I'm wearing too.

Just... I'll give it to him on Monday.

Then it's good bye, no more Ari.

I mean... Why did he have to be such an a*shole about it? It's not like things are gonna change even if we're still together.

I have to go outside and go somewhere to get him off my mind or just generally do something, I'd do anything to not let him cross my mind.

I showered and got dressed with a simple dress, I didn't bother thinking about what to wear when there's no one to dress up for. I grabbed some shoes and socks and left the house. I didn't bother bringing my phone because talking to people gets exhausting in situations like these.

I walked and walked outside until I reached our city park. I sat beside a napalm tree that was over looking a pond of fish. I decided to gather my thoughts and just think.

For a moment where everything was okay, and we were happy... Why did he just decide to leave? Am I not serious enough for people? Am I not the type to be thought of having a serious relationship with?

Why did I even bother loving him when it was obvious he didn't love me back anyway?

Why am I being played with, like I'm a toy? I'm not a f*cking dating simulator so stop trying to make me into one.

I suppressed a tear as I sat and got some fresh air for another 20 minutes of me complaining and wishing I was worth something.

I was never his lover, I just thought I was. Yet, I'm still the dumb one. How can I fall in love eith someone whom I've only known for two days? I wish I didn't daydream about our future. I wish I didn't dream about him. I wish I never said I love you back. I wish I never met him.

But at the same time... I hope that none of these wishes come true.

I'll admit that he was a douche, but he actually cared for me... Like when he confronted my ex, or when he cheered me up whenever I was talking about my problems during work, or how he always knows what to say.

I still love him, and I still wish that he still loves me the way I love him.

But no. Reality sucks.

I got up from the bench I sat in and started to walk back to my house. I passed through his place and I stopped and stared.

I wanna see him.

I wanna kiss him.

I want to hug him.

But he doesn't love me back.

Ari's POV

"Sh*t..."

I miss her...

I feel like my ex doesn't even matter anymore.

What the hell?!

I broke this relationship between us up but I didn't need to do it?! I miss her so goddamn much!

I feel like such an idiot.

I went outside to go back to her house but as I took a step out, I saw her from across the road.

I have to get to her. I just want to redeem myself. She looked like she didn't bear seeing me, she looked down to her side as she crossed her arms.

I held my hand out at coming cars but as I got to the other side of the road, she was already going to the direction of her house.

I ran towards her and grabbed her shoulder to have her face me.

A/N

HOW'S THAT FOR A LITTLE CLIFFHANGER. tUNE IN NEXT TIME fOlKs!