Almost Everything | on hold

16 | Days Without Red

[16 | Days Without Red]

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Isla hasn't been to school in four days and Theo is growing crazy with worry. Everytime he sees a redhead in the halls, his heart picks up a little. But then he realizes said redhead doesn't skip in her walk a little, that she doesn't wear a different short skirt with crazy colored tights everyday, and that she doesn't make his heart ache everytime she smiled or laughed. Thus, making his hopes shatter and his heart ache a little more with the realization.

When Theodore first started harboring feelings for Isla, he suspected it might just be an infatuation. God knows he had his fair share of those anytime a girl so much as has been kind and nice to him. But after a while he noticed himself looking for her everytime he entered a room, when things happened and she was the first person in his mind he wanted to share it with, that's when he realized that'd he'd fallen in too deep.

That's also the same day he's realized he had royally fucked up in falling in love with Isla Hawthorn.

Because while Isla was as sweet as honey and as kind as an angel, she was also someone who did not forgive and forget easily nor lightly. She took things to heart and earning her trust was like reaching for the nonexistent pot of gold at the end of a rainbow.

It's safe to say that Theodore has instantly hated himself after Brian's party. He had realized immediately how much of a jerk he was, how hurtful his words were, and how much of an ass he was at dismissing her like that and making her feel small. Everything he had said, he had regretted and wanted to take back. Except he couldn't, and the sight of her unshed tears and the strong emotions of hatred behind them would haunt his memeories forever.

How could he have done this to her? How could he have done this to someone he claims he loves?

And whatever happened to her afterwards, that was on him too. It's just like Isla had said, if she hadn't left the party because of him, she wouldn't have ended up where she did.

Theodore couldn't even say the words, he couldn't describe what almost happened to her because it tore his heart apart. It broke him, seeing her like that. Fully knowing he was the person who caused it, and knowing he couldn't have protected her like she done for him a thousand times over. To make matters worse, he couldn't do anything about it to make her feel better instead of talk about himself and his stupid issues.

That day, Theodore had stumbled to his poor excuse of a home like a mess. With tear stained cheeks, he had immediately made his way to the wine cellar. A place he hasn't visited since Reagan's masquarde party last summer. Theodore hasn't found a need to calm himself and his thoughts ever since, always finding someone to let things out to, whether it be Dylan or Isla or Reagan whom he hasn't spoken to properly aside from texts because she's touring Europe with a bunch of friends.