horribly beautiful ✔️

i am the ghost of the bird you caged in your bedroom

i became a ghost to you.

i left you,
to never come back.

i thought that there was nothing i could have said to explain

the reason
for my inevitable death.

when i disappeared,
i was in control.

but after i was gone

you managed to pull control
right out from under me-

you opened your bearlike arms to the bony elbows of death,

you welcomed him like he was the sun.

you turned your grave into his temple,

and you are still under my fingernails when i rip them apart.

i drank your soul like my father drank red wine,

until the glass shattered.

in my heavy hands and spilt

your scarlet blood on them.

i didn't leave the depths of my shower for seven hours,
and scrubbed my hands until i could see my bone.

i was a bird and you

were my luminous birdcage.

i would spend my days
crashing into your walls

until my wings would rip apart.

you forgot to feed me,
and give me water;

you watched me in my agonized rainbow of the believed concept of beauty.

i was screaming my lungs empty and you heard music,

you said
it was lovely.
so i never stopped.

i didn't leave my house for a week

when you claimed to miss our one sided
relationship so much

you decided to die.

instead of freeing me you swallowed the key,

and instead of begging to be let go

i scream at the vacant earth for not being as beautiful
without you.

if you were alive,
i would still say sorry.