horribly beautiful ✔️

last april

last april
two arab girls

in their shimmering headscarves
laughed at me

when i left the safety
of the bathroom stall;

i washed my bloodstained hands and

watched them whisper
in the mirror.

well i hope those loveless nights made you feel good.

last april
i burnt my back

and carried the scar of icarus,

i flew too close to your love and i am still waiting for you to fix me.

the thing about people is that they change
once they walk away.

i used to love you like a child,
and like it was a choice
you decided to grow up.

you still talk like yourself,
but deep down i know you're somebody else.

last april
i rode a hazel colored horse through storming clouds of wheat,

my mother screamed at me to slow down,

but i refused
to let the watercolor sky slip through my fingers.

last april
i unhinged the lips of my jaw once again,

you were a house
that i refused to grow up in.