horribly beautiful ✔️

i still leave dandelions on your grave

could i turn your fears into dandelions,

and let the wind wash them
off your chest?

would you
start to daydream

on the phone,
and allow me to hear it
in your silence

that delivered to me

the fragrance of the summer nights
we spent in hickory trees,

through power lines
tangled in the sullen branches of our chewed fingers.

instead,
black holes were the promises you kept

and last friday
we packaged honesty in the moving truck

and we watched it drive away.

we gave it to strangers who ordered hope,
who are erasing the past
with their dreams;

who deserve more

than our fragile truth.

because you and i,
we complicated love just to feel something.

in the end you were nothing more

than my ephemeral addiction

that washed all my words off in the rain.

you forced me to look inside mirrors
and become incapable of seeing

someone other
than a child

attempting to grow apart from its mother.

yet i was your coffin,
you were my life,

i miss the space between your eyes,

the eyes i saw the sun through.

you
were a warm winter day

instead of oxygen you breathed the rain.

you
sat on broken benches,
the whispers of your nightmares curling from your fingertips.

you
stood in line to wait and touch a heart,
to have your soul drain through a strangers bathtub.

you
liked to keep in mind
that the good were always the first to die.

i always thought

i'd spend my life

thinking about how i never regretted choosing you.

i knew our lives could never line up,
but our graves
will look the same next to each other.