After Hannah Baker- Zach Dempsey's New Life

29: Death

After a few minutes, Ryan had calmed down enough to eat. While she ate I went to find Coach to tell him I had to leave with Ryan. 

When I came back into the room Ryan was crying lightly on Justin's shoulder. I walked over and slowly sat down. She pulled away from Justin and wrapped her arms around me and sniffled. 

"Are you done eating?" I asked rubbing her side. She nodded lightly. "Okay, I'm going to pack up our stuff and then we're going to go," I said quietly. 

I stood up and slowly grabbed her bag from the floor then grabbed our phone chargers from where they were next to the bed. 

The four-hour drive home was silent. I drove us home, Ryan was still crying and didn't want to drive. I dropped Justin off at home then drove Ryan to the police station. 

Ryan was holding my hand tight when we walked into the police station. Ryan had to identify her mom and then talk with some police officers. Evelyn was in the building waiting for us to get there. Ryan sniffled again when Evelyn hugged her. 

"Okay, let's go," Evelyn said then took Ryan from me. I wasn't allowed to go with because I wasn't directly involved. 

I was waiting for about an hour until Evelyn came back with Ryan who was sobbing again. Evelyn frowned when Ryan wrapped her arms back around me. Evelyn rubbed her back slowly while I squeezed my arms around Ryan. 

"Are you ready to go?" I asked after we moved to sit on a bench a few minutes later. She nodded slowly then stood up. 

Evelyn walked with us to the car, I opened Ryan's door for her then closed it slowly when she climbed into the car. I turned to Evelyn who was waiting patiently. "I haven't told her yet, but I divorced Brian and I am going to be getting everything from him now that he is going to prison," she paused. "Tell her to call me once everything is calmed down," she nodded. I nodded lightly then smiled when she reached out for a hug. I hugged her slowly then smiled when she pulled away and walked to her car. 

I climbed into the driver's seat and started the car then put my seatbelt on before turning to Ryan. "Do you want to go get some ice cream?" I asked quietly. She shrugged slowly then wiped her eyes. 

"Do you want to talk?" I asked slowly. She shook her head slowly. "Okay," I slowly pulled out of the parking lot and drove to the nearest place which sold ice cream. 

I ordered a large chocolate shake and a large vanilla shake because sometimes Ryan likes chocolate and sometimes she likes vanilla. I drove to the window and paid then glanced at Ryan. She was looking at me with a small smile. 

"Do you want the chocolate one or the vanilla one?" I smiled. 

"Chocolate," she said quietly. 

When we got the shakes I pulled into the parking lot so we could drink them. 

"You're really nice," she said after a few minutes of silence. 

"You mean a lot to me," I nodded slowly then smiled at her. She smiled lightly then slowly set her shake into the cup holder. 

"You mean a lot to me too," she said quietly.

Twenty minutes later when we were almost to my house, an ambulance zoomed by the car. I looked at Ryan who was watching the ambulance speed ahead of us. We were now pulled over on the side of the road waiting in case there were more emergency vehicles on the way. 

I waited for a few minutes then continued driving. Seeing any emergency vehicle is rare in our neighborhood so I was concerned. Even more so when I pulled up to my house and the ambulance was in the driveway. 

"Oh god," I parked the car and turned it off then ran up when the first responders started walking out of my house with someone on a gurney. Ryan caught up to me then I heard her breath catch in her throat when we saw the body on the bed. 

Ryan slowly wrapped her arms around me when I looked at Mom, May, and Justin standing at the front door. 

My dad was lying motionless on the gurney. Mom started crying when she saw me standing in the middle of the lawn looking confused. May came running out of the house and hugged me while also crying. 

"What's happening?" I asked May confused. She didn't answer, she just kept crying. I looked at Ryan who was now rubbing May's back. I slowly picked up May and carried her back into the house where Mom and Justin were standing motionless. 

After a few minutes, Ryan and Justin went downstairs so my mom could tell me what had happened with Dad. 

It took Mom a couple of times to start her sentence. "He's been sick for awhile," she said quietly. "He found out last year that he had cancer," she paused, "The doctors said his cancer was too far along for him to get treatment," she hiccuped. "He didn't want treatment either way," she mumbled. "He wanted to be happy in his last days," she nodded slowly. 

"How long have you known?" I asked slowly. 

"A month," she whispered then wiped her tears away. "He died last night in his sleep," she nodded slowly. "I didn't notice right away because I'm always up before him so I thought he was still sleeping," she paused "He loved you and May very much, he didn't want you two to know he was sick," she said quietly. 

After a few minutes of Mom and I sitting in silence, I stood up and went to my room. I sat on my bed in silence for about two hours until Ryan peaked into the room. 

"Are you okay?" she asked slowly walking into the room. I didn't answer. 

She slowly sat down next to me and took my hand. We sat in silence together for most of the night. Ryan slowly turned so she was looking at me but she was still holding my hand tightly. 

"Do you need to talk?" she asked quietly. I shook my head slowly. Ryan slowly stood up and closed my bedroom door then crawled into the bed and slowly leaned against the wall. She slowly took my hand again then sighed lightly. 

"You mean a lot to me," she said quietly. 

"You mean a lot to me," I replied then slowly squeezed her hand. "I love you, Ryan," I whispered. 

"I love you too," she whispered back after a few seconds. 

An hour later Ryan made me lay down then she cuddled into me. "You need to sleep," she said realizing that I was still awake. 

"I know," I whispered then kissed her on the forehead before l closed my eyes to go to sleep.