Double Take (janoskians fanfic)

Chapter 26

Amanda's POV

"Luke!?"

I looked around to see everyone just standing around the pool staring at me.. Okay well not everyone. Where is Jai? I looked back at Luke and he just pointed up. I then saw Jai standing on the roof with he's eyes wide, teeth gritted, and fist clenched. Oh fuck. We made eye contact and he softened up. he started tearing up as he climbed down to the gutter. Shit shit shit.

"Luke you know I didn't mean that right and it was an honest mistake??" I asked Luke but keeping my eye on Jai.

"Yeah it's ok I know it was an accident." He replied.

Jai crouched down on the edge of the pool and dipped his feet in. He sat there for five minutes in complete silence and I was hiding behind Luke because he's probably planning on hurting me..

No Amanda he would never hurt you.

Ok that's it. I got up and out of the pool and walked inside. I went down to the basement to try and calm myself down and get this sugar out if me. The boys said something about having a punching bag in the basement so I headed down there.

As I was kicking and punching and screaming I started to think.. Not good thoughts though.

"Worthless piece of shit" kick.

"Ugly cheater" punch.

"Jai doesn't deserve a piece of trash." kick.

I kept screaming and crying until I felt a presence behind me..

"Beau?" I asked turning around to see him in tears.

"Don't ever say that again okay? you are not worthless, you're beautiful and it was an honest mistake! If Jai doesn't forgive you then he doesn't deserve YOU." he told me.

"Beau I'm scared" I mumbled into his chest.

"Of what?" he asked.

"What if he finds me? what if he takes me and kills me! what if he hurts you, or jai, or anyone else! It'll be my fault.."

"Don't worry Amanda, nothing will happen to you. I promise."

I heard someone clear their throat behind us... Jai. Well this isn't going to end well. I looked at him with blurry vision as I wiped my eyes and his eyes were red and puffy as if he was crying too.

"Um can we talk? Alone?" he said gesturing at beau to get out of the basement. He nodded and left..

"I'm so sorry Jai I really didn't mean too. it was an honest mistake. I can't do this without you, please..." I pleaded.

He looked up from his shoes with tears staining his cheeks.

"I'm sorry Amanda I can't do this anymore.. I think we need to take a break. I'm sorry."

"IF YOU WERE SORRY YOU WOULDNT HAVE DONE IT!" I screamed at him.

"OH LOOK WHO'S TALKING!" he retaliated.

Just be the bigger person and walk away.

That's what I did. I walked right past him without saying a word and ran upstairs.

I heard multiple "what happened?" "are you okay?" coming from the boys that were sat upstairs on the couch. Adam had already gone to bed since it was 11:30 already and he had school tomorrow unlike the rest of us.

I ignored all their questions and ran straight up to the bathroom. I smashed up a razor, locked the door, took of my shirt and shorts, hopped into the bathtub and placed the cold blade against my skin.

"This is all your fault Jai!" I said to myself as I sliced open my skin.

"AMANDA OPEN THE DOOR!" it was beau. I can't let him in. Not now. Beau and I got extremely close a while ago and now he's like my big brother.

I ignored beau and just kept cutting. After about two minutes of cutting and crying beau found the key to the bathroom and opened the door.

The blood was all over the place. I cut my wrists, thighs and stomach. I curled up into a ball in the corner of the bathtub while beau slowly made his way over to me. He sat on the edge of the tub right across from me.

"Let me see" he said.

"Why?" I croaked.

"Because i want to see how many times I wasn't there for you."

"Beau this isn't your fault. there is nothing you could have done." I said holding out my arms. he took my arms and say next to me. He kissed each one of my scars on my arms.

"Beau?"

"What is it babe? Oh sorry ermm." he said going red.

"It's okay. Umm can I sleep with you tonight?" I asked. beaus face then light up and he smirked.

"No not like that dickhead." I chuckled.

"Yeah I know. of course. Now let's get you cleaned up."

I put on my pjs and brushed my teeth. I didn't even bother saying goodnight to everyone because I know they would ask what happened. I crawled into bed. About five minutes later beau plopped down into bed with me. We were both laying on our backs with space in between us. He then wrapped his arm around my waist and scooted closer to me.

"Goodnight beautiful." He said as he kissed my forehead which caused me to blush. He chuckled.

"Goodnight beau." I smiled as I slowly drifted off to sleep safe in beaus arms.

•••••

Ugh guys I'm sorry it took me so long to update! I've been having a hard time with my life the past 2 weeks and well yeah I just didn't want to update when I was sad so anyways, hope you enjoyed and the next chapter will be up soon.

Thanks ily<3

~Amanda