Hurricane

6: Holding onto something

Hayden looked stunned for a second. Then I turn around to see what made him look like he just saw a car crash.

Then I see.

A girl.

She's petite, blond with the straightest hair I've ever seen, and just... pretty.

She looks around, and suddenly her eyes grows wide when they land on... Hayden.

Okaaayyyyyy? This is fishy.

He looks away from her to look back at me. He looks lost for words. He opens his mouth, but closes it. One thing I know he's trying to avoid, right now, is that girl who is coming in our direction.

"Hayden," she says excitingly. "What are you doing here?" The question makes Hayden's roll his eyes.

  "I could ask you the same thing." He mutters.
"Well, I came here on a break. Zack's fam-"
"Look- no offense, I am not interested in hearing your life story because I have something important I'm doing here. So please." He points his hand to the other side of the restaurant, motioning her to leave.

I don't think I've ever saw Hayden be rude to anyone. Well, I barely know him. What made him so mad? She wasn't approaching him in a bad way, so what's getting him so worked up?

She looks at me, then. And her eyes seems to form some sort of...understanding?

"Your girlfriend?" She points to me. I immediately look at Hayden and his eyes hold mine, firmly for a moment. I feel like he's silently trying to tell me something or silently praying that she goes away.

We both remain silent for a second. Two second. Three second. Four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, and ten seconds. No one speaks.

Then I open my mouth to reply, "Yes," Just when Hayden finally slams the table, making us both jump.

"What do you think you're doing?" His words almost sound like a soft growl that makes me shiver. "We shouldn't have to take our time to answer your nonsense questions. Please leave, Hailey." The girl, who's name is apparently Hailey, gets teary eyes and runs away. She leaves the restaurant.

Hayden exhales. He closes his eyes for a while, and then looks at me. His expressions warms, but then he rubs two fingers on the side of his forehead exasperatedly. 

"Who is-" I start, then Hayden gets up.

"I should go." He takes his stuff and leaves the restaurant.

Whoa. What happened just now?

I go after him. "Hayden, wait up!" I run behind him. He doesn't turn around. He's completely shut down.

     "Hayden!" I catch up to him. He turns around wordlessly. "What happened? No, I mean, are you okay?" He just looks down. Motionless.

    "Nothing."
   
    "No! There's something! I just wanna know if you're okay!"

"Why wouldn't I be okay?" He yells.

"'Cause you're yelling!"

"You're yelling too!"

We stare at each other, breathing hard. Then, I realized how maniac we probably are looking right now yelling at each other for absolutely no reason. I can't help, but start laughing. "Just say you're okay! Oh my god. You're so difficult."

"I-I am difficult? What? You know what? Fine. I'M. OKAY." He states. "Are you happy now?"

"No! You're lying! And you're terrible at it!" I cross my arms and start to walk away.

"Wait- Hey!" He catches up to me this time. I smile and keep walking straight while he follows behind me.

     * * *
Before going to the park, I went to work and then went home to take a shower to see Ethan laying in my bed texting on his phone.

     "What did I say about ringing the bell?" I unwrap the towel on my hair to smack him with it.
"Sorry, it's just so easy to come in here when your windows seem so inviting" that comment makes me turn around to look at the window, to see that it's... open. Shit. I forgot again. I quickly walk over to close it.

It doesn't help the fact that the window could be reached by an eleven year old. I mentally curse myself for being careless. It's just a small studio room, it shouldn't be this hard to manage. When I first moved out, I tried to save money and go for a cheap renting room. Surprisingly, this room was available and it's near the flower store. The surrounding was nice, streets less busy, and the only vehicle going around here is bicycle. So, the streets are quiet as well. The sides of the street have flower bushes here and there, but since it's fall season, the area doesn't seem so nice.

Normally, people who live here are considered lower class people, working in small shops. But, too bad, class status doesn't help you live.

Plus, the room, the very small room, is close to me. I've grown used to it. I got used to Ethan coming here and not judging me. He says he liked it here and that I shouldn't be ashamed of this room because it's my earning. I earned this with my hard work, I should be proud.

"Although I got used to this place, you do know that you have to move out soon, right?" Ethan says as he takes a pillow and shoves it in the headboard of the bed and lays back on it.
"Why would I need to do that? I'm perfectly managing," then I hear a cracking noise in the bathroom and realize the shower stall is... still running and I remember that it's broken. "Maybe not perfect... but um... it's working out."
"You can't live like this!" Ethan laughs. "Just come live in an apartment with me. I'm trying to move out of my parents' house, they are getting annoying. I'm almost 20, it looks too childish to stay with them, always treating me like a child." He rents as he pouts. It makes me laugh.
"You are a child. Have you seen you?" I point at his face.
"Are you calling me young and handsome? 'Cause I've been called that recently and I liked it... a lot." Ethan says but then he realizes what he said and clears his throat. You see that? He's been weird lately. Always talking about something... someone and then changing the subject.
"Oh, really? You know, if you are dating somebody or having some kind of relationship, why aren't you sharing with me?" I say it frustratingly. I thought about him dating someone before, which is mostly the reason why I didn't want to stay in his house. It felt... wrong.

But, because he's not talking about it with me, he's making me feel like he knows what I feel about him. That scares me. I want his love, not pity. I got jealous the night I heard his parents yell at him for coming home so late. It was 2:30 am in the midnight. I think that night I finally cried over something other than my parents. After that event though, it helped me kind of set my mind over something else other than my parents' death. Yeap. No more flinching when I think about it. It's already in my system that I was meant to be alone.

"I'm not dating, or seeing anyone! Why doesn't anyone believe me? Not my parents, and now even you!" He says frustratingly. "I- do you know how hard is it to... actually forget it, I don't know what I'm saying." Ethan lets it go.

My heart breaks. It's like somebody just slapped me on the face. I've been so stupid. Here, I was always thinking about my feelings about him when he, my best friend here, was going through the same phase as me and I'm not there for him.

I feel like a selfish bitch.

"Ethan...you like someone don't you? Talk to me." I ask softly as I sit beside him.

He looked like he was going to deny it, but then he sighs. "Yes. I think I like someone, or I don't know. I don't know what's happening to me." Ethan looked in pain. He doesn't like you, I think subconsciously.

I feel like I'm suffocating. I can't breathe. I take a few breath to calm down. This isn't about me.

"Well, when you're ready to talk about it... I'm here for you. Always." I kiss a side of his cheek.

He leaves shortly. And I'm still sitting here wondering why I can't ever hold onto anyone I love.

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Next chapter is going to be... interesting 😏😏

Hope you enjoyed this ✔️