Angelica Marries an Angel

8

ANGELICA

I held onto Castiel with all my might as we swayed on the top of the Empire State building. I turned to face him.

“ARE YOU CRAZY?!” I yelled over the wind. He nodded and I laughed. He remained impassive as I looked over the edge. We were hundreds of thousands of feet up in the air and the wind and cold were turning my legs red. I shivered a bit and Castiel pulled me closer. I glanced up at him as he placed his trench coat around my shoulders. I laughed and he smiled at me. I really wished we were on the ground and quite suddenly we were. Standing in the middle of the streets of New York at midnight is a bad idea. Cas grabbed my shoulders and we were suddenly in the middle of a desert.

I collapsed in the sand, giggling uncontrollably. He sat down next to me and rubbed the heel of his hand into his eye sockets. I laughed and laughed until I couldn’t any more. I gasped for air and looked up at the stars. I laid back in the sand and looked up, pointing at a star shining brightly directly above us. Cas followed my gaze and nodded.

“Sirius. You keep pointing him out to me.” He said calmly. I nodded and he laid down next to me. “Why is it so important?” He asked me. I sighed.

“Mom used to tell me that when she was little, she had an imaginary friend named Sirius and one day he disappeared. After that she never got hurt. Nothing bothered her and she was so strong. She said that Sirius was taking care of her and was watching over us from the heavens. Sirius was my caretaker. I guess I just like to think mom is back with Sirius is all.” I said sadly. He sat up and pulled me into a hug. I was a bit surprised, but also happy. The last time he had tried to hug me it had been awkward and had bad timing. This was good. He was getting better.

“I’m sorry. Everything is my fault.” He mumbled into my hair. I sighed and hugged him back. He had never actually apologized, so it felt good to hear him say it. A little bit of the anger I always felt melted away.

“It isn’t your fault Cas. None of this is. You tried to help and make things better. We owe you so much.” I said looking up at him. He looked down at me, as if begging for forgiveness, but I saw something in the reflection of his eyes. I turned around. The pyramids? I laughed out loud. Cas had taken me to Egypt. I dragged him to his feet, stepping out of my boots and I led him, barefoot, towards the huge stone constructs. We climbed up the sloping wall, Castiel climbing awkwardly in his suit while I scrabbled up quickly, finding ledges and handholds easily.

We got the top and I balanced myself on the very peak. The desert stretched out for miles around me and the wind blew about like a wild beast. I laughed and sat next to Cas. He was watching me carefully the whole time and I found it quite comforting, knowing he was keeping an eye on me. I smiled at him when I sat down and moved closer so we were shoulder to shoulder on the pyramid. I placed my head on his shoulder and looked out over the huge expanse of sand. I sighed and felt his head pivot to rest on mine as well.

“So what now?” I asked happily. “Great Wall? Taj Mahal? That huge statue of Jesus on that mountain in South America.” I said. He laughed a bit and it made my heart skip. Oh God, I was so in love with him. He stood up and offered me his hand. I took it and as he pulled me up, we moved. I was suddenly standing on the Great Wall, the winds blowing around me as the sun beat down on us. I laughed at people walking by stared in confusion at the crazy white people. I grabbed his hand and we ran. We ran all the way to the next check point, him struggling to keep up and not run into anyone, and me laughing like a child. We reached a check point and I took his hands in mine, closing my eyes so we were suddenly in a London ally.

I stepped out and was nearly run over by a curly haired man in a long coat. A shorter man chased after him, telling him to slow down. I watched curiously as they dashed down the next road. Cas took my hand and led me around a corner so I could see the Eye of London across from us on the Thames. I laughed and clapped, running to the edge of the river. I felt him run up beside me and we both looked into the water. Our own blurry reflections looked back at us and I laughed again. He took my hand and we were back in my room.

I spun around, the lower half of his coat spiraling out around me, just like my hair, my arms spread wide. I fell backwards onto my bed and stared at the ceiling. I felt Cas sit down and grabbed him, pulling him down next to me. I placed my head on his shoulder and he slid an arm around my back. I curled up my feet, boots and all and sighed into his chest. As far as last day’s go, that was pretty interesting. I wish I could have stayed longer, but Cas apparently wanted to see a few things in particular, and who was I to deny a dead man walking?

I closed my eyes and felt him breathing beneath me. I pushed myself up onto my elbows and kicked off my boots, looking at him carefully. He looked back at me with one eyebrow raised. How Spock-ish.

“Just don’t go dying on me, okay? I can’t deal with any more of it.” I said softly. He nodded and pulled me against his side. I smiled and pressed myself against him, breathing in his milk and honey smell. We laid like that for a while, just close, not moving, just close. Then he suddenly placed a finger under my chin and cocked my head up. I looked at him curiously. He took my hand and looked into my eyes. Oh, I knew that look. I leaned down and pressed my lips to his.

As our kisses always were, it was simple, sweet, always leaving you wanting more, but feeling wrong for trying to get any. He held me close but delicately, like I would shatter if he squeezed me too tight. It was nice and safe, not wild and dangerous, just happy. I finally pulled away and he looked at me longingly. I pressed my forehead against his and placed my nose in line as well. He smiled a bit and shifted his head, placing a kiss on the tip of my nose. I grinned a bit and rolled off his chest, how I ended up there don’t ask, and curled up next to him.

I must have fallen asleep, because quite suddenly he wasn’t at my side. I sat up, rubbing my eyes and looking around for Castiel. He was by the window and staring out at the stars. What bothered me was how dark his eyes were. They were still blue but they looked like sapphires rather than the Caribbean Ocean. He looked at me and I shrunk a bit at the cold stare he gave me.

“I suppose I should apologize.” He said. My blood went cold. “I’m afraid I misled you. I was terrified of dying last night. Now I’m not, and the fear that clouded my judgment is gone. You seem to be under the impression that we have something. Don’t be fooled. Think about the circumstances under which we kissed.” He said. And I did, and I will never stop regretting it.

The first time we kissed was an accident. He bumped heads and our mouths met. The second time was immediately afterwards, but we both ignored it but claiming I was telling him about what kiss was since he didn’t understand why I was so pissed about Zachariah’s ‘telepathic exchange of knowledge’ which happened to occur through mouth to mouth. The second time was when he was about to die. He wouldn’t make it and Lucifer was about to rise from hell. I kissed him goodbye and was transformed into an angel. And a few hours earlier, on his last night on earth, most certainly, and I had finally forgiven him for my mother’s death.

I straightened up and pulled his trench coat off. I held it out to him and he took it calmly. He pulled it back on and made for the door. I watched him go and didn’t call him back. I stood up and walked to the mirror over my vanity. I looked in it, at me, examining my steel grey eyes, the messy black hair, the pale skin. I punched the mirror and it shattered, blood coating my knuckles, several shard stuck in my hand. I pulled them out and went to the bathroom. Maybe Sam was right. It was time for change.