Angelica Marries an Angel

2

We had stopped at a hotel in the middle of a big city and we were loading bullets into Dean’s emergency gun in his jacket. I had some in my Wing bag that Castiel had gotten for me and I was holding back my tears. Sam came back from where ever and I nodded to him as he tossed Dean a hex bag.

“No way angels will find us with those. Or demons for that matter.” Sam said with pride. Uh oh.

“Where’d you get it? Dean asked suspiciously.

“I made it.” Sam said quickly.

“How?” Dean asked turning back to his pistol. Sam swallowed and got nervous.

“I…uh…I learned it from Ruby.” Sam said, referring to his ex-girlfriend bitch-demon who betrayed us. She knew witchcraft and had helped us more than once, but we had killed her when Lucifer had arisen because, well, she was a bitch-demon who betrayed us. Dean set down the gun and walked towards Sam.

“Speaking of, how you doin’? Jonesin’ for another hit of bitch blood?” He said. I flinched. When Sam still trusted Ruby, she had had him drink her blood to enhance and replenish his psychic powers. I thought we were past this. I was obviously wrong.

“It’s weird. To tell you the truth I’m fine. No shakes, no fever. It’s like whoever put me on that plane cleaned me right out.” He said openly. He did look better than he ever had and I was glad of that. He was getting worse the longer this went on and I felt horrible.

“Supernatural method ‘yo.” Dean said awkwardly.

“Yeah. I guess.” Sam mumbled. I watched and sighed. “Dean-”

“SAM. It’s okay, you don’t have to say anything.” Dean said turning away. I sighed. Men. Sam nodded and swayed a bit.

“Well, that’s good. Because what can I even say?” He started. Cue Angela’s exit. I stood up and walked out, my leather jacket zipped up over my ruined-shirt. I stepped out onto the street and pushed my hair back. I leaned on the guard rail near the entrance to the motel and closed my eyes.

“See that? That’s Sirius. A star, a million billion miles away, and we can see it from here. Because we want to. Because we try to. If we try harder, then one day, we may be able to get close enough to see Sirius as large as the sun here. But we won’t unless we try. See?” I said looking at him. He wasn’t looking at the star. He was looking at me. “Ana is like you. Eternal, incredible, angelic, heavenly. If you love her, then love her, and don’t let anything or anyone hold you back. It isn’t a sin to love. But it’s a crime not to.” I said and looked out over the water. “Take me home Cas. I need to tell Dean the bad news.” I said.

Cas suddenly grabbed me and pulled me close to him, one arm around my lower back the other across my shoulders. I gasped as he held me to him. His eyes were bright and they looked suddenly empty, like he was lacking in all emotion. He pressed his forehead against mine and closed his eyes. He pressed his nose against mine and I shivered. Something akin to growl ran through his chest and I whimpered slightly, his grip tightened and I pressed my palms against his chest, trying to push him off

He suddenly pulled back. He stepped away and I stared wide eyed as he blinked rapidly, like he was as surprised as I was. I took a step back and shivered, looking at him nervously. He slowly pulled of his trench coat and held it out to me. I took it and pulled it on so I was wrapped in his scent. I sighed as the warm, rough fabric closed around me. He took a step closer to me so we were about two feet apart. He looked confused and upset. I knew that look. I smiled broadly at him and looked at me in confusion.

I gasped for air and pulled away from the rail. I hated that he didn’t love me, and that we had only kissed once, really. I didn’t count the first time. I loved him so much, and for the longest time I wouldn’t admit it. Now he was gone and he was all I thought about. It had been maybe two days. It felt like two centuries. I closed my eyes and sighed, muttering under my breath.