whispers and mutters • blasnique

Chapter Eleven

THIRD PERSON

If only Unique had the ammunition to shoot himself right in the mouth, he already would've done it years ago.

The anxiety that Unique's having for the past week has been killing him to the bones and he couldn't even function like a proper human being because of it. Alcohol and his frequent use of nicotine has been the only things helping him cope - and that's driving him even more insane.

He wished one time that he was just a car that he could crash right in a dark alley just so that he'd have no hope of saving himself 'cause it was already automatic that he'd no longer be functioning right after.

Everything's just like the smell of the hospital lately - it makes him want to throw up. It was like the IV on the hospital bed of his once alcoholic uncle; he hated him to the extent that he'd want to choke him until there was no longer any air nor blood passing through his neck.

"Unique, you can do it. Don't act like a fucking baby." Said Zild who was fixing his hair, patting Unique's back right after. He felt like everything was so insincere and so.. fake. "How dare you.." Unique whispered under his breath, "The news'll be here--"

"WHAT?!"

"Dude. Calm down! Ain't you fucking glad that we'll be doing this? Are you afraid of fucking growth? Just.. try." Zild chuckles just right after the insult he threw at Unique.

"You're not fucking helping. You think this shit helps? We're a fucking supporting act for one of the most popular bands in the Philippines and you expect me to be fucking calm - the spotlight's on me! Not on you! What if I fuck up? What if I mess all this shit? Then you're gonna laugh at me - then everyone does! Then you'll-"

"CALM THE FUCK DOWN, WILL YOU? The show'll be starting in minutes and if you continue to fucking panic about that shit, it wouldn't really fucking help, would it?"

Oh, how bad Unique wanted to punch Zild in the face at the time. He had killer instincts - he badly wanted to put this motherfucker in a really tight chokehold.

He was trying to ignore anything that was bothering him, not to mention that actually journalists and news reporters were actually outside the dressing room's door.

"Calm down. Okay?"

Unique startled at Badjao's weirdly comforting voice that subtly whispered at his right ear, "Thanks. A lot." He smiled, and received one back from him too which made him calm down, maybe a little bit.

Badjao was always quite the nice guy, comparing to Zild who was always nagged at Unique like he was his mother.. He never felt the tender loving care of a mother anyway - Well that took a big turn.

Unique took two hits of the menthol flavoured cigarette that was the only thing that could calm him down to the nerves - he couldn't find anything at all or else he might just relapse again to slashing his skin off.

The alcohol gave him a boost - yet it was clearly an effect of a substance that's new to his taste. A flavour that completely new to what he usually uses.

Wishing he could just turn back time, it was too late. Their manager opened the door and the people came into a rush - and so did Unique's anxiety.

Let's do this.

***

"Cheers! That was a successful concert!"

Zild shouted, sitting on the sofa with his girlfriend drinking some beer beside him.

"This beer's really good.. Where'd you buy it?" She asks, "Oh, we just bought it somewhere down this convenience store beside the gas station we used to park by.. Remember that place?" He looks at her with a plain face, downing the glass of beer on his hands. "Yeah.. Mind if we go upstairs later? I kinda wanna sleep.." She requests, landing her hand on his thigh.

Zild looks at her girlfriend who was looking at him with eyes that spoke of lust - maybe something else - maybe love, he was certain he was love, and he was sure he'd want to find it in between her thighs this night.

"Hey there, lovebirds.. I don't wanna ruin your lovey-dovey party there but Unique ain't here and it's alarming." Badjao butts in, lips pursed and his eyes speaking dozens of apologies for disturbing them - and he meant it.

Badjao chuckled nervously, "Do you know where he is?" Zild asks, worried. "No.." Badjao shrugged. The next second, Zild felt like he was about to explode. "FUCK!"

"Don't fret, dude. Maybe he's with Blaster, calm down. Okay? Calm down."

"How could I not panic?! He might've done something that could completely destroy his rep-" Badjao let out what seems to be a heavy sigh, "I told you.. calm down.. I'm sure he could take care of himself, we just need to know where he is. You're a being paranoid." he lets out a little laugh, then pats and ruffles Zild's head of hair.

"How can we contact him, then?" Zild rolls his eyes.

"Easy. Just call Blaster."

Zild contacts Blaster on the telephone, and as soon as Blaster answered the phone, he went straight to the point and asked Blaster where Unique is.

"No, he's not here. Why're you asking?"

"Nothing. I'm sorry."

"Are you gonna tell me why or I'm gonna steal your woman?"

"Woah there, buddy. You're crossing the line. Fine. He's missing and we don't know where the hell he is."

"Hm, okay then. I'll try to look for him; I think I know where he is."

"Thanks a lot!"

And right after that, they ended their conversation, so did their telephone connection.