whispers and mutters • blasnique

Chapter Fifteen

ZILD

"God damn it, people! The show'll be airing in a jiffy and y'all still look like fucking trash! MOVE!" The obviously frustrated assistant - I couldn't tell - rushed across the dressing room. By the look of her face and the emptiness in her eyes, I could tell that she was the human equivalent of the word 'exhausted'; and trust me, I could not exaggerate it less.

"Trust me, she just forgot to drink her morning coffee from I don't know.. the coffee shop she buys coffee from downtown.. She's a boring freak-o and no one invites her over at parties. She's a bitch, basically." The make-up artist chuckles as she retouches my eye make-up and all that. "She really is a bitch, 'kay? So if she tells you later to fuck off and shut up, just remind yourself to cross out her name at your list of people to invite over to your house party when you guys blow up like crazy." She laughs as if she was talking to a fellow gossip girl.

"Sure. I think I gotta go to Unique for a bit.. Hold on there."

"No, it's okay. You look fabulous. Just avoid touching your face to avoid smudging the make-up off. Have fun!"

I sit down beside Unique on the couch. "I'm sorry, but cigarettes aren't allowed here.." One of the staff guys asked, "And who the fuck are you to tell me that?" The staff guy walked away from us.

"Asshole."

Unique puts his arm around my shoulder, "You think that make-up girlie's flirting with you?" He smirks while rushingly chewing his peppermint-flavoured gum. "Dude, I have Shanne. If ever she is flirting with me, she'd be rejected pronto." Unique pats my back twice, "That's what I also said when the hooker from the gasoline station I rejected ended up giving me a blow in the backseat of my car.. It was fucking fun though."

"You were with B-girly at the time..?" I asked, "Yeah, my point exactly." 

"Do you and Barbara even love each other?"

"Dude, shut the fuck up, will you?"

Unique has always been such an arrogant asshole who can't keep his hand to himself. A lost soul who's always stoned almost every single night he comes home with no one to help his hangovers every morning. I've always stared at him in pity every time he walks down a road completely wasted, vomiting on random bushes all stoned and sad.

I know he always hated me, and I've always shared the same feeling.

Time passed quite in a great hurry and none of us noticed it. We all lost perception of time and I suppose we all were just having fun.. Or at least that's what I think we're having.

We all had smiles on our faces and each laughter we've received from the audience and the crew tempered the sting of loneliness we were all feeling on the inside.

I couldn't imagine arrogant Unique smiling and laughing along with the audience. His smile was infectious and his laugh was contagious. He always put up a big smile on the cameras and no one could sense the sadness he's been screaming about on the inside. I can't fathom that this is the guy that all the teenagers are wooed about. 

I can't really help but question myself.. 

After the show, we headed home. Unique went to his lonely home which is just the same as mine and Shanne had important matters to attend to.

It was always like this.

I'll go home, I'll go back to my plain, boring self.

I wonder how Blaster is doing, is he doing fine? Sometimes I just wanna phone him but I couldn't really do it. I lack the courage and I don't think he'd even talk to me; 'cause ever since I went to pursue music, I left home.

Strangely enough, I miss that guy.

I miss his little chuckles and the way he stupidly dances while he holds his red cup full of whiskey. I miss the way he sways his hips and the way he just loses himself in the neon laser lights while he could still be able to move so gracefully in his innocence. 

He's someone who understands my little bullshits about how I feel. He's someone I can lean on.

He's my wonderwall.