A Cup of Coffee

c h a p t e r 0 5

Elizabeth

I fiddled with my pen as I struggled to get the words out of my head. Writing this essay was no easy feat. Mr. Reed said that we needed to put our heart into writing and I am trying my very best. It's hard to be able to find the right topic to even talk about.

Do I write about my parents and how their divorce ruined me?

Do I write about Ellie's suicide?

Do I write about cooking and how passionate I was?

Or do I write about my soulmate who was nearing?

I glanced at my wrist, the fading numbers slowly counting down. Shit. I totally forgot about this. The other day, it was still 259200.

Which signified, 259200 seconds...

3 days.

But now I was staring the at the numbers decreasing, now it was down to 45 seconds and my heart was beating out of my chest. I took a sip out of her mug and looked around nervously.

I've been waiting my whole life to meet my other half but now that the time was coming, I don't know what to do or how to act. After taking a deep breath, someone pushed the glass door open to Xavier's Coffee and there he was, looking down at his wrist as he entered.

5

4

3

2

1

I could feel myself melting as he looks up at me -

"ELIZABETH!" Katie shouted from the kitchen, her scream radiating to my room. Immediately, I bolted out of my bed and followed Katie's voice. There she was on the counter top, she was hugging her knees as she stared at me wide eyed. There was a lizard under our table. I breathe a sigh of relief, thank goodness Katie didn't try to cook. I reached over the drawers and grabbed a plastic bag, putting my hands in it.

I grabbed a broom and quickly trapped the lizard between the wall and broom. As fast as I could I grabbed the lizard with my plastic-ed hand and gestured Katie to open our kitchen window. And within a few seconds, I threw the lizard out.

"Are you okay?" I asked, turning to my best friend who was still as pale as a ghost.

"What if it comes back!" Nathan usually kills the lizards and cockroaches that come through our window or neighbouring dorms, but they didn't do anything so I'd rather let them live, Katie obviously disagrees with me.

"It won't!" I half screamed as she continued freaking out over nothing. I shook my head and headed back to my warm covers. After wrapping myself with my blanket, I just looked up at the ceiling thinking about my dream earlier.

I really wish I paid more attention to my wrist. Now, I was just lost because I don't know how else to find him. The countdown was supposed to be helpful. I mean they say you will just feel it when your soulmate is near. Some say that your wrist will sting a little if he or she is near, because the universe apparently know when you miss the chance of meeting. My sister managed to find her soulmate again more than a year later because she felt her countdown burning and that caused her to turn around to reunite with her soulmate. What if I never come across him again?

The thing about this whole soulmate thing, it does not come with a lot of instructions. It will appear a year before you meet the one and all you can do is wait. When the time comes you can decide to be together or go on with your own life. Nobody talks about if you will really be together for life or you were made for each other. I mean what are soulmates anyway? Can't your sister or your friend be a soulmate?

Frustrated, I sat up and started listing down all the food I was intending to serve on my birthday, I needed to get the ingredients ready. Plus, I had to stock up on our food supply in the pantry. I handled our food situation in the dorm, we share the rent bills and Katie takes care of our take outs, clothes and emergency causes like plumbing.

I grew up spending most of my days with Ellie, she had to learn to feed herself and take care of me. Mom and dad were rarely around to spend time with us because they worked hard to provide food on the table. Because of Ellie, I learned how to make spaghetti and all sorts of delicacies, even Filipino food.

She was married before she passed. She married this man named, Carlos Dela Cruz, he was a Filipino and they were together for about ten years. They were soulmates. Even though they missed their initial meeting, eventually they found their way back to each other. Oh, the love they have was stronger than everything I know and to be honest, they have a perfect life. They love more than anyone else. Anyone could see that from miles away.

Ellie, however, kept having miscarriages and eventually they found out that she was barren. It broke her heart for weeks and she was diagnosed with depression near the end of her life. She was the one always finding a reason to live and she was always lifting people up. And I think along the way, she lost herself trying to make people happy and she forgot to live. Her miscarriages took a toll on her less than a year later, when she was 24, she took her life. I remember it all. It was as if time stopped and I wanted to do everything I can to turn back time and have her back.

I fiddled with the pen and paper in my hands. I had days like this, Ellie was all I can think about and there were days were I just forget but the pain is still there. Time helps but not because the pain goes away. When someone you love or know or care about, takes their life, you just learn to live with the pain of their absence.

Sometimes I blame myself for not stopping it. Or for not realizing the signs early enough. I could have stopped it, I was with her during her final week. She came back to visit the family for the school break, knowing I will be alone. She moved out when she was eighteen but visits often. Ellie lost a lot of weight, her bony fingers always tensed and you could see her slipping away but she always brushed it off.

The, one day, I left her to run some errands, I came back to see that I lost her. It keeps repeating in my head for months, at times, I black out when I see someone that looks like her. It was as if I was there again and again. I want to forget. But if I forget, will I slowly lose Ellie?

I took a deep breath and headed for the bathroom, Katie was fast asleep on her bed and you can hear her soft snoring. I hopped into the shower and scrubbed my body with my cherry blossom scrub. One thing Katie and I can agree on was Bath & Body Works' items. I love their sprays and body lotions. We can spend hours going through testers and we had no problem spending our money there. After drying myself, I slipped into my leggings and long sleeved shirt. It was getting chilly at this time of year, so I figured wearing this wouldn't hurt. I grabbed my jacket from the closet beside the front door and left a note on the kitchen counter for Katie. I folded some reusable bags and popped them into my backpack. I needed those because the parking lot was quite far from the dorms, so having these bags were extremely helpful.

I headed to the parking lot, immediately recognizing my car. It was a beat up car but I saved up for it ever since I was a junior in high school. It was one of my prized possesions. Sometimes I have troubles starting the car but this car was my means of escape when life at home gets tough back in high school. Ellie and I will drive up to the beach and stay there for hours, till the sun rises. This car was also our ride to prom, Nathan and Katie came with me after Daniel stood me up.

Three tries later - more like fifty - I finally got the engine to start and I headed to the nearest grocery store. It was Sunday so I was hoping to get good deals at the for sale section. After getting the rice, the meat and vegetables, I pushed my cart down the chocolate aisle. Katie requested for chocolate bars last night and I was craving for some since it's nearing the time of the month for me. I was looking through the dark chocolates, when I felt a stinging sensation on my wrist, nearly dropping the chocolate bar in my hand. I whipped my head around to see a tall man across from me. He was looking at his wrist too, which showed a faded zero. And suddenly he looked up, and a pair of bright blue eyes, with hints of brown, stared right back at me.