A Cup of Coffee

c h a p t e r 1 1

Adam

I didn't mean to collide with her but she, too, wasnt looking at where she was going. She didnt even look bothered by her countdown, or was she even paying attention?

"Excuse me -," she called after me but I had to ignore her. I can't have her around for now, I have too many things to think about and soulmates are not one of it.

I squeezed through the packed coffee place, easily because of my built, people would rather not collide with me. The booths were filled but there was a long queue that already formed in front of the counters of the small coffee place. I see Phoebe on her own as she takes orders and prepare the drinks.

The last time I saw her was Gramps' funeral. She already looked like she aged a decade on that day but today, I can definitely see the years on her face. She was probably in her seventies now. I remembered how stern she was back then and how she was always frowning. She barely laughs and smiling was a no no for her. But right now as I looked at her, she was smiling brightly as ever.

I mean, you can't be frowning if you're trying to have people come back to your coffee shop. She had a flower clip at the side of her hair, Gramps used to give her a flower hair clip every anniversary. She had a thing for accessories.

I managed to sit at one of the empty stools beside a young man, around my age. He was too busy typing away in his laptop to even notice me. I waited for fifteen minutes for her to finish up with the orders and drinks. I really could have helped her, but she wasn't expecting me to arrive today. And I definitely had tons of working experience to be able to help out but I was tired wreck, I'll probably just snap at customers if they don't speak clearly or loud enough.

As the customers started to leave their booth and head out, the coffee shop started to have lesser and lesser people. Phoebe emerged with a rag in her hand and scanned the area. Her eyes locked with mine and I can see her eyes starting to water. She gave me a big smile and embraced me.

"Adam,"

"I'm here,"

"I can see that," she trembled and she sat us down at a booth. It was starting to rain outside, and I could see a pair running off to the back of the cafe, probably heading to the dorms situated near the school.

We exchanged a few "how are you" and "I'm fine" whilst waiting for the customers to leave. She closed the shop early and asked me to give her fifteen minutes to clean up the shop. She cleaned all the tables and put up all the chairs. I offered to sweep the floor but she shooed me away and made me sit back down. I could hear her rushing to wash all the cups and plates at the kitchen but decided to just sit down anyway. She wasn't aware that I know about her sickness. Mama Dianne asked me to keep it a secret because Phoebe wouldn't accept the pity or help.

"Dear, let's go." She closed all the curtains and locked the door behind us. She gestured me to follow her and if I'm not wrong, the town houses were about fifteen minutes away from here.

"I have a car,"

"Okay we can take that instead,"

"You walk everyday?"

"I usually cycle, but my bicycle got stolen a few months ago. I forgot to chain it properly," she explained as she looked at the window.

I started up the engine and made a U-turn in front of the campus and headed to the town houses. We drove in comfortable silence until we reached the town. They had a few eatery and a grocery store. She directed me to a parking space near her house and I followed her out. Her place wasn't as big as it used to, I looked around and stepped in after taking off my shoes. I was just copying her, she always took out her shoes in people's houses.

When you enter, you will be greeted by a living room and near the corner was Gramps' rocking chair. And on the right side was a hallway leading to the bedroom and bathroom. The kitchen was small and there was no dining area. She gestured to the sofa as she disappeared into the hallway.

"Coffee or tea?"

"Coffee, black," I drummed my fingers on my knees as I take another look around. There were pictures of their wedding, a picture of Phoebe and Dianne at my parents wedding. There was a picture of me, with my parents when they were sixteen. I honestly don't know how we were going to talk about this.

"Here you go," she set down my cup of coffee on the small table and sat across me on the rocking chair.

"Ummm, I know you weren't expecting company,"

"It's alright, it can be quite lonely so I appreciate the visit. Adam, I'm really happy that you came by to see me,"

"It's been six years, I guess I wanted closure,"

"I understand. Feel free to say anything. I haven't been the best grandmother." She looked down and traced the brim of her teacup with her fingers.

"Yes, you weren't but that was the past. I'm honestly still enraged by it all but life is short. I learned that after dad and Gramps left."

"I can understand. It must be hard to lose both of the most important people in your life."

"It wasn't easy for you either, you lost your husband,"

"Adam, dear, I'm already 75. I spent almost six decades with your grandfather. We had a good life together, he was my best friend and even though I was grumpy, he still loves me. I can't ask for more."

"I miss him a lot,"

"I do too,"

"I came here today because I wanted to talk about a few things. I may not come off as respectful but I think I deserve answers."

"I'm here to answer them for you,"

And that night I got the answers that I needed. Yes I still loathe my mother. She left us when we needed her and she never tried to come back. We talked about everything from the beginning, how it was finding out my parents were pregnant up to the day she started talking to her daughter again. She told me that Hannah - my mother, was getting over her drug addiction but only called after years to ask for money because she got into some serious trouble with her drug dealer. That's why Phoebe refused to let her daughter come see the family because she had a lot of debt to deal with and now she was married to another man, all she wanted was help paying for her drug debt.

"He abuses her but she doesn't want to leave because he helps pay for her debt and she's so lost into her drug addiction. She's been in and out of the rehabilitation centre. When she didn't bother to visit her dad on his deathbed, I decided that that she wasn't worthy keeping in touch with. Xavier's been the best father I know and he treated her well even if she gotten pregnant at fifteen and she couldnt even show up at his funeral."

"You were so young Adam, David asked me not to tell you about your mother because he didn't want you to ruin your life coming after her. I never kept it from your father. The moment Hannah called me, I came running to David to tell him. He was heartbroken and your Gramps was too. We tried to get her out of it but she wanted that life, drugs was more important to her. You were eight years old Adam, none of us wanted to break it to you that your mom went to a different path in life. She didnt even ask about you. I'm not proud of how she turned out because we raised her with all the love in the world."

"I'm just thankful you're here again. Dianne kept in touch with me through it all so I know about your first girlfriend and your projects and all of the competitions you've been in. I really tried to reach out. It wasn't Dianne's place to explain things to you. I hope you forgive me. I'm sorry for not telling you about your mom. It should have been your choice whether or not you wanted to see her. But among everything, I'm sorry for being a terrible grandmother. For blaming you for what happened to Hannah 's life. You were so young to be blamed for your parents. And you were definitely not a mistake. I watched your reach your teenage years and you are such a good boy."

I had to let everything she said sink in. Now that I understood her side, it made sense. Tears were flowing down her cheeks now as she tried to continue what she was saying. Even my tears were threatening to fall as I listened to her. I was glad that I came down to meet her. I regret the six years I refused to talk to her. I regret for the lost time because Phoebe's cancer tumor was spreading when she last updated Mama Dianne. I reached out to hold her hand as we continued talking. At least I can make it up for the remaining time we have together.