I'm Only Human

The Demon

PLEASE NOTE: This poem contains suicidal/self-harm/triggering content. Read at your own risk

  ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ 

Would you believe me if I told you that a demon lives with me?

I don't blame you if you don't, believe me, it's hard to see.

It likes to hide in the dark, and usually comes out at night, 

because it doesn't really like to be seen in the light.

It never really shows its face, I can only hear its voice

and take my word when I say there really isn't a choice.

What it says is horrible, I don't want to believe it,

but I really can't help myself as I take every hit.

It says that I can't do anything right, that nobody wants me around,

and no matter how hard I try I just can't get rid of that sound.

The sound of its cold voice, telling me I'm worthless,

telling me that trying anything at all will be pointless.

It criticizes my every move, and never ever praises,

it sinks its claws into my skin, leaving endless grazes.

No matter how hard I try to tell, it won't let me say a word,

I try to talk in other ways but it's never really heard.

Why can't anyone help me, why can't anyone understand?

The demon that lives with me won't let me extend my hand.

It won't let me ask for help, it makes me stay silent,

and what it continues to do to me is oh so very violent.

It won't let me sleep anymore, and when I do it haunts my dreams.

It's very slowly, painfully, tearing me apart at the seams.

It's like it's putting weights on me, I feel like I can barely move.

I can't do anything about it, and nothing will ever soothe.

Soothe the aching feeling it makes me feel inside,

and at this point in time I don't even want to be alive.

Why am I even saying that, I have family, friends, love!

It alters my vision completely, and I can't see that white dove.

The dove that would bring me my olive leaf of relief,

the one the demon won't let me see, shattering my belief.

On the inside I'm screaming out, yelling as loud as I can,

hoping that someone can save me, someone can give me a hand.

But the demon won't let them help me, it just won't go away,

and it gets stronger and stronger with every passing day.

It whispers in my ear whenever I think I'm doing right,

and it will never leave me alone, even in the middle of the night.

I don't think I can do this anymore, I can't keep up with this emotional compression.

So I'm going to go ahead and give in. Give in to the demon that I call depression. 

(Fun Fact: I entered this poem in a poetry contest, and won third place with it! I've also made people cry with this one, so I assume it's good? Sorry if it upsets you too ;-; )