I'm Only Human

Breathing

Why does breathing hurt? 

It caused the hand up my skirt and the dirty nails under my shirt

His breath smelled like cigarettes and peppermint

Someone who once made me content now caused my heart to need a splint

I want my lungs to be obsolete

My life will be complete and there's no reason to compete

Because now, I am forever drowning

I am constantly frowning and now I am doubting

The person that I have become

She's so useless and dumb and she's literally scum

All she does is make others cry

Then she asks herself why and she just wants to die

I can feel myself coughing up emotions

While I'm drowning in oceans and making useless motions

I can still feel myself trying

Everything is so terrifying and I feel like I'm dying

And it's all because of my lungs

Crying out in different tongues, but everyone who hears it runs

Because everyone around me is scared

Not because they're impaired but because they have cared

Cared for something they lost 

Maybe it was someone they crossed, or something they tossed

But something hurts deep inside

Because everyone has tried and everyone has cried

Over something they couldn't control

Burning them like hot coal and going straight to the soul

I wish it would all go away

And we'd finally be okay and have a happier day

But that's impossible, right? 

In this world full of fright we cry in the night

Instead of going and asking for help

All it takes is one yelp and yet we hide like a whelp

All I know is that I'm done

I want to stare into the sun while I hold up that gun

And when I paint the ground red

And everything they ever said will cause me to be dead

They'll remember who I used to be

Innocent and free and everyone would agree

That I was a happy child

That I was born to be wild and everything I've compiled

Actually means something

That instead of disgusting I proved I wasn't nothing

And the words that I left behind

Will change their mind and make them kind

Because that's just how the world works

Filled with jerks and somehow great perks

It all revolves around breathing

The life we are conceiving and everything we're believing

All leads to something bigger

It's as if that trigger taught that gold digger

That there's more than just the pain

Their is light after the rain and there is more to life than gain

That even though I stopped showing

You should keep going and keep on glowing

Because there's so much more to see

And even though I ceased to be, that doesn't mean you need to be like me