Lies, Blue Eyes and Thunder Thighs

Chapter 10 - Falling

"I can't come over. I know I promised, but something came up."

"Aw, you aren't mad about the phone thing, right?"

"No." 

"Okay. Well, we'll be staying in a hotel tomorrow. We can go do something as a farewell celebration."

What's there to celebrate?

"Sounds good."

I pull my phone from my face and hit the "end call" button. I can see myself in the reflection of the touch-screen glass, and it is not a pretty sight.

I glance over to my mother's room. She still hasn't left her bed. It's been three hours since she found out about my dad's affair. 

"Mom, what are you talking about?" I had asked out of confusion. "What do you mean he's not coming home?"

"He left us, Layla. What part of that don't you understand? He doesn't want us." The pain and rage in her voice broke my heart, and I fell into a fit of tears. I've always been fairly close to my father. I didn't think it was possible for this to happen.

I laid in bed and hugged my mom for hours, trying to comfort her. It's hard having a parent walk out, but my father was never really around much. I'd talk to him on the phone when he went out on these big business trips, but the majority of our time together was spent when I was younger. I was sad and hurt, but I couldn't possibly understand how my mother feels. Having a lover leaving you behind has to be a million times more painful.

I tiptoe into her room, and listen closely. A soft buzzing snore confirms it. She passed out while I had gone to get her a glass of water. I can't be in this gloomy, depressing place. I snatch a pen and paper and scribble down a note.

Mom,

I didn't want to leave you like this, but I really need to get my mind off of things. You're alseep right now, so I figure this is a good time to go. I'll try to be back before you wake up. I just need to talk to Brendan for a while. I left you some painkillers and a glass of water on your nightstand. Take them when you wake up.

Love you.

I lied. I wasn't going to go see Brendan, I just needed to get out and I knew she'd flip if she thought I was roaming the streets after dark.

I slip on a knit sweater and close the door quietly as I leave the house. My mind is cluttered with memories of my dad, and the painful expression in my mothers eyes, and all of the sudden, there's a pinch in my heart that I was trying desperately to keep away. I pull my hood over my head and let the tears flow, praying that it's dark enough that no one will see me.

I approach the park that Brendan and I were at a few nights ago. I reach for a swing and sit down, my sight blurry from crying. All I can do is stare at my cell phone screen, hoping that my dad will call and tell me this is all just a cruel joke. But he doesn't. He doesn't so much as text me to see how I'm doing.

I take a deep breath and stare at the sky. Keep it together, Blue. Lots of kids go through this. Not like he was really around for you much, anyways. Before I know it, my mind is scanning my thoughts for a distraction. 

Okay, Corey. He tried to kiss you, right? Does this mean he likes you? No, no way. Corey Webster doesn't date fat girls. He's just using you.

Ugh, okay next subject. Alexander. He's gorgeous and he's sweet, but he doesn't seem into you. He's not into you, you're just being an oblivious asshole and relying on wishful thinking. He was right, you are an idiot.

This isn't working. Next. Brendan- Brendan.. I choke back tears. Brendan's leaving, too. You have no one. Once he's gone, Damien and Miles and Aaron will all go back to forgetting you exist. Brendan was the medium that held everything together.