Speed of Sound

Chapter 11 - Wasn't it me you didn't want?

Title Credit: This Is How It Feels by The Veronicas

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It's been two weeks since the renovation begun. Isolation has been installed on the walls, the bathroom is ready and right now I'm supervising the black kitchen counters being installed. Not a big deal as I only got four cupboards.

Apart from Cleo and Max, Damien and I spend a lot of time together those two weeks. We even decided to take the trip to Italy soon after the renovation is done. He gave me the space I needed though; not trying anything as to kiss me again. I did catch him staring a couple of times; making my heart tremble, but Alex never left my mind.

I was starting to feel like I had a ghost. I felt him with me everywhere I went. I felt him holding me every time I tried to convince myself to feel better. I couldn't believe that such a short period of time with someone would grow such a big addiction.

The kitchen was done and the workers had left me alone in the empty renovated garage. I suddenly felt like I couldn't breathe. I tried to catch my breath only to start hyperventilate; my heart pounding against my chest.

I sat down next to my new kitchen counter and put my head between my legs. My sight blurred from the tears and felt revealed as the ache from my chest was leaving me. I suddenly couldn't breathe. I inhaled and exhaled but no air filled my lungs. I panicked for a moment but then I sat up, and begun breathing slowly and steady.

I was trying to calm myself down when I felt someone next to me; startling me. I opened my eyes and saw Damien. I wiped away my tears with the back of my palm and looked down; a sob leaving my lips. He reached out and pulled me into his arms; holding me tight.

"Come on ladybug. Calm down," he whispered into my ear. I curled up into his arms tried to calm down. I felt safe.

I didn't want for Damien to see me like this; not knowing that not so long ago I used to cry over him. Crying for not being able to show him what I felt.

I slightly pulled back gazing at the floor. Damien whipped the moisture from my eyes softly. I closed my eyes, enjoying his touch and calming down. Until I felt his lips hitting mine. A sigh left my lips and as I opened them to breath; the kiss turning more fierce.

My mind went blank and I just kissed him back; tasting my tears. When reality hit me, I pulled back; covering my lips with my fingers.

"I shouldn't..." I murmured to myself. I shouldn't have kissed him back. It wasn't fair.

"I'm sorry," he whispered "I'm really sorry," and shifted so that he had his back on the counter.

"Maybe we should postpone the trip," I suggested. I wasn't over Alex and this wasn't the way I wanted for things with Damien to start. He wasn't just a rebound guy for me.

"As you wish," he said and I could hear the disappointment in his voice.

"This," I began searching for words "This, can't happen now," I murmured.

"I know," he nodded and a moment later he started walking towards the door.

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The only thing left to do was moving my stuff from my room to the garage and buy or steal some stuff from my mother's kitchen.

Cleo and Lexie came with me to IKEA to buy random things for the decoration. Max, Mike and Damien helped with the boxes and my bed. I was surprised that Damien showed up that day. I didn't expect him to do so after the second kiss we shared.

I was with the girls in the garage, unpacking my stuff and listening to RnB while dancing. For the first time in a long time I was actually enjoying myself. But I guess fate didn't want me to. The girls were frozen at the sight of someone behind me.