Speed of Sound

Chapter 28 - It hurts, wound so sore. Now I'm torn.

Title credits: Bullet For My Valentine - Hearts Burst Into Fire 

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I couldn't listen to my professor any longer. My mind was running away from class. More specifically, it was running towards Italy and the old Villa that Damien is reconstructing for the last two months. I bid my lower lip and tried to focus on the words that were coming out of my professor's lips.

But I wasn't able to succeed. I could see his lips moving but no sound reached my ears. I was wondering what would happen if I tried calling him. For a reason, I couldn't even lift my hand up and touch the phone. I was so scared that the pain would return that my body was immobilized.

I was comfortably numb. And planned to keep it that way.

If Damien wanted me out of his life, I could live with that. I knew it would happen sooner or later anyway. I knew that no guy would ever catch up to him in my head; or in my heart. But I would try to feel human again.

[+++]

A loud knock on my door startled me as I was leaning over a ground plan that was starting to get on my nerves. I walked towards the stereo first to turn the volume down before making my way towards the door.

Behind the door was Cleo; looking slightly bored. I took a step back and let her come inside. She had come with the most absurd idea ever. She wanted us to take a trip. To Italy.

"Seriously?" I questioned astonished.

"Yeah, you have the tickets. They're going to expire!" she said and sat down on the couch. I was still standing where I was; staring at her.

"He is in Italy," I said, trying to make her realize what she was asking me to do.

"He's not all over Italy," she narrowed her eyes at me "It will be fun. We need vocation."

I didn't reply. I closed my mouth, as I realized it was hanging open the whole time, and sat at the nearest chair.

"We don't have to visit him," she said softly. I've always wanted to visit Tuscany but the idea of being in the same area as him terrified me. And thrilled me at the same time.

"Promise?" I asked.

"Yeah," she smiled "I can always see him some other time," she explained. "You don't have to worry about that."

I took her word for it.

[+++]

A week later, I was sitting in an airplane towards Firenze; a city in Tuscany, just one and half hour away from Siena by train. Siena, the city that Damien was. It mortified me that I was so close to him.

I desperately wanted to see him. But I was so afraid. I was even afraid to talk about it to Cleo, fearing that she might do something stupid. I did wax my legs and got all my nice underwear with me though. Just in case. I told myself that the waxing would have happen anyway, but I was obeying Cleo's orders about the lingerie. I secretly wanted to be prepared for anything. I wanted to be prepared for him. But I wouldn't dare admit it.

I believe that is Break Up Rule No. 2 as said by Carrie Bradshaw "Lie. It is a lot easier than admitting the truth".

Thankfully, the mind blowing landscape and my enthusiastic friends took my mind off of him. Of course during the day it was amazing. My head couldn't stop turning and my eyes couldn't take in enough details of the amazing city.

The nights, however, were almost a torture. Italy is a very romantic country. And in the back of my head there was always a picture of Damien and me in Tuscany. Even though there wasn't a possibility now that that would happen, the picture still existed. Just to make my life miserable.