Steady On.

Chapter 2.

(Edited 03/31/2021)

Three weeks.

It had been an agonizing and very long three weeks and two days since her encounter with Ben, the force bond between them having gone silently still.

Rey was so busy getting the Resistance back on track and settled into a safe place, that she hadn't truly noticed the silence from him until the lonely nights that surrounded her as she lay in bed.

She was still so confused by it all, unsure how to feel about him. All she did know for certain was that she did not like his new role as Supreme Leader, and that he was still stuck in that dark world he had been raised and molded in.

On the nights Rey did think of him, when she was tucked into bed, staring at the stars and open night sky, that's when his face would appear in her mind; Soft, timid, wary, but overall, curious.

She wondered of the man and his upbringing while he was with Leia and Han, and couldn't help the questions that came to mind as to how he ended up like this, with his demons and the dark side of the force at the forefront of his being.

No matter her loneliness though, Rey reminded herself that she was not alone, regardless of the absence she felt from Ben's side of their bond. She had Poe, Finn, and dearest Rose. They offered her comfort and friendship, something she had never experienced during or after her time on Jakku.

At times, it struck her how truly alone she had lived for such a long part of her life. As a child, it was even more evident having been surrounded by adults. With a quirk of her brow, she wondered if she had ever even met another child the same age as her during that time.

She didn't think she had, but she never quite felt alone, though. There was always... a feeling, there in the midst of nowhere. Had that been the bond? Birthed for her and Ben at such a young age? She couldn't help but wonder.

This was nothing she could ever share with her friends. They couldn't ever understand that bond, and Rey was sure, they would fear that connection more than anything else. Could she ever bare the feeling or fact that her friends would fear her? As they feared Snoke? Or any other ruler before him?

Either way, hypothetical or not, she couldn't imagine it and therefore, swore to never reveal that part of her to them. Rey decided to remain positive for her friends, despite her true feelings of loneliness and confusion, and even the shimmer of desperation she felt to learn other ways of the force, yet she had no one that could truly teach her.

With a shake of her head, Rey switched to her other side, restless in bed. She shut her eyes tight, and willed herself to sleep, yet she could not quiet the loud thoughts that roamed her mind.

Sighing, Rey attempted to convince herself to be happy, to set a tone of positivity so that she could wake up in the morning fully charged.

Biting the inside of her cheek, she came to the realization that the attempt would simply not work, and as if on cue, the force brushed against her mind, beckoning acceptance, whispering promises of comfort and sleep.

Timidly, she allowed the force to creep over her, soothing her aches and worries as she lay in bed beneath her blanket.

The more Rey began to relax, so did her mind, and she was again brought back to the image of Ben's features from when she had shut the door to the Falcon, their last goodbye.

Had she made the right choice? Did he feel abandoned? Again? How many times had he felt that by the people in his life that was supposed to protect him?

Rey felt tears threaten to appear, her throat closing as deep, sad feeling arose within her. Feeling conflicted, she was determined to not cry, not about this... Not about him... Not again.