Undecided (Unedited)

Her

I wake up in the morning with no intention of getting up while its still so dark. I take a look at the watch and it mocks me telling me its only three a .m   in the morning and that I'll have to wait three more hours before the sun actually sets in and the brightness is quite reasonable. I eyes are robbed of sleep in as much as I yearn for it so take me and take me on a ride to dream land  . I toss and turn ,closing and opening my eyes ,walking up and down my room ,sitting on the bed ,doing head stands until all the blood rushes to my head and causes dizziness .
I switched on my laptop at one stage and found even more boredom and that's when I shut it closed  ,I slipped on some of my favourite red bunny slippers and I started bouncing to the kitchen . 
I was quite hungry considering I hadn't eaten last night so why not fix myself up with a snack .
My eyes scavenged the fridge for ingredients . I grabbed the  eggs,milk and even some butter before going to the cupboards and taking flour and sugar. I was making pancakes to drawn my confusion of a life and perhaps add some sweetness to things .
I pulled out a bowl and started cracking and beating ,pouring and mixing and soon enough the mixture was complete. 
I place the pan on the stove and poured  some of the mixture inside .
While that was frying I looked around for some sweet syrup .
I kept frying my pan cakes until the mixture was finished and as I glanced at the wall clock it states that it was five thirty . I was glad for the most part and as I settled in a bar stool by the kitchen counter I went wild with syrup and I began eating .

"I see you made breakfast",my mom said .
Her smile was sad ,unnaturally sad. It was tired like it was when she came back from work or the weird one she gives us when she wants something ,no this one was purely sad . A sadness I never thought could reside in her .
" Not really ,just felt myself craving pancakes ",I smiled her way with a playfulness in my voice.
" Of course you were . You're probably also craving diabetes and a heart attack but I won't judge you ",she said grabbing a fork from the drawer and pulling a seat next to me ," Do you think you could use some help moving that mountain of pancakes ?".

I giggled and nodded at her to dig in.
She giggled back .
"How was poetry night ?" ,she asked and my spirit fell just as quickly,my shoulders slouched inward in attempt to coward away and she noticed .
"What's wrong ,was it the judges or didn't you not like it ?", she said still smiling .

How do I begin to tell her ....

" No everything was fine ",I attempt to cut the subject short .

" Okay ,but it doesn't sound that way . I thought you loved poetry night "

"Well yes I do ,its just ...-", I don't know what to say after that . I'm most for words my lies begin to catch up with me as I can no longer keep running from the truth but then I look away from her eyes trying to figure out something .
"I just wish you were there", I whisper but its not a lie .
Its been a while since my mom actually involved herself in anything I do. Tears bite my eyes and they begin to pool and later they threaten to fall .
I look at mom ,her eyes showing how broken yet happy she is .
She reaches out to me and envelopes me in a tight hug squeezing the life out of me. The tears fall down my cheeks involuntarily.
" Ah ,baby you don't know how glad  I am to know you want me there . I'm so sorry ,I should have been there . "
She rubs my back causing more tears to flow until she pulls away . 
"I'll always be there for you . Mommy love you !", she says planting kisses on my forehead and cheeks while wiping off my tears .
I giggle at her motherly affection .
" Mom,I'm sixteen . ", I counter

" You're a baby that's what you are" she counters and continues hugging me senselessly .
"Now go get ready for school "

My eyes widen at the still full plate of pancakes.
"What about my cakes, mom ?"

"What cakes ,these are mine. You have school and I am hungry so move it before you're late ", she laughs .

I obey her and walk away laughing .

After taking a bath and putting on  some clothes I stare at the mirror while combing my hair .
The girl in the mirror looks quite nice to day I should say . Her skin is glowing .
As I stare into her eyes she still gives me that look . I look deeper and this time I wonder ,who are you ?
I stop combing and she does the same .
I remember Haley and all of sudden the girl in the mirror copies my actions as I smile at the thought .
She blinks ,her eyes look different . They have a twinkle .
I thought I knew the girl in the mirror very well but now she's a reflection that confuses me more and more leaving nothing but more confusion in my identity.
She doesn't know me and I don't know her .
But now I can't get over the fact that she's the girl I look at in the mirror but she's a total stranger .
It scares me ...