Undecided (Unedited)

Ridicule

I jog back home after school and when I get to the gate I can see Haley on the door step dressed in a grey hoodie .
"Hey stranger ",she says to me with a smile that's missing something .

I smile back at her as I approach her .

" Hey ,what's up ?",I ask

She stares into my eyes with a smile that doesn't weather and I can't help but wonder what is going on in that head of hers

She shakes her head and her hair follows her movements and then she grabs my hand and she  stands up .

"Nothing ,let's take a walk ", she says and we walk out in silence heading to the open road .

" I wanted to call you -",I start

"Shhh ,just walk ", she says without even glancing at me .

" I wanna talk ",I say and her eyes meet mine instantly.
" I wanna talk to you about us"

She stopped and so did I .

"Cool ,speak "

"I think the feeling is mutual. I think I like you too "

"Is that why you didn't call for two weeks . I'm just checking "

"I was just a bit busy that's all but I wanted call you ."

"Okay ",she said moving closer bringing her hands around my waist , " Will you go out with me tomorrow ?",she said

"Maybe ", I teased

" Its settled then . Tomorrow at four "

I laughed at her

She came closer and our lips for what felt like a second and then they met again and this time I had against the tree and the kiss grew heated .

"Hey! Rose ",a freakishly deep voice said ," What are you two doing?!"

My blood froze and I didn't dare turn my head around because somehow my body began to shake with the amount of fear that hit my body all at once. I steppes away from Haley leaving more than enough space between us .

"The world is ending indeed !", he said and this time I recognized him . He was a friend of mom's and he went to the same church.

I couldn't breath but Haley seemed just fine .

" Good day to you too Mr. Charles ",she said causally. After he left her eyes finally landed on my shaking body.

" Babe, what's wrong ?",she said coming closer and just then I pulled back with years streaming down my face like a river

"He saw us ", I whispered

She came closer again and this time I had my hands in front of my body to stop her .

I was a terrible mess of fear and dread and maybe right now the only thing I feared most wasn't even death
It was the thought of my  mom even thinking I wasn't straight

" What's wrong? ",she said again and she was genuinely concerned

I took one look at her with my teary eyes and didn't like back .I started  running home . The truth is I can't face reality after I chose a path that hurt me too much so now I do what I do best and that's run . I've always been athletic and somehow I've always found myself running .
Love doesn't  choose  who or how ,but I made it so here I am . My mother doesn't know and she should never know and so my sister too. This can't be happening . At this moment my life was flashing before my tear filled eyes and I was running out of breath .
I dashed through the front door while coming to a tragic realisation;I was so busy falling in love I forgot that this kind of love was utterly forbidden. As my hands made their way to my lips I kept crying violently .