Fate or Destiny

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Madam Alessa,an old woman of short height,a fair complexion,small wrinkles on her face,dressed up all in black(the uniform of orphanage),hair tied into a bun led our way to the dorm.
I gripped Rose's hand firmly and turned my face over to her.She was looking around ,Scared by the thought of what would happen next to us.
It was too much for a 12 years old girl like her to lose so much already and of course she was scared.
Deep down,I was too but I pretended to act normal and remained steadfast,trying not to reveal  my
inner emotions.

The dorm was empty. All the children were in courtyard playing ,engaging themselves in different physical activities.
It was good weather outside,fierce wind blowing but the interior seemed suffocated and dark.
My face froze at the thought of living here _ forevermore until I got up to my feet and arranged a living for me.

My face froze at the thought of living here _ forevermore until I got up to my feet and arranged a living for me

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Madam Alessa gave a gentle grin to me,placed her hands on my shoulder and brushed the tears off from my face.I had tried so far to control them but it was too much.They began to slip down my cheeks.I didn't care to wipe them now.I wanted to cry,cry my heart out!
She covered me by her arms and spoke delicately
"MY dear.Wipe those tears off your face.No good for you,my boy."
And then she placed her hand on my head,trying to comfort me and cool me down.
I began to sob more harder,gasping for breaths.
Rose was shocked to see me cry for the first time.In front of her,I had always pretended to be courageous and fearless.I know I never was.
Rose looked braver than I was.
Madam Alessa hugged me ,wrapping her motherly arms around me ,trying to shake away the pain.
I felt soothed and a little calmed.I had a similar feeling of hugging my late mother.I had never hugged anyone,ever since.
I gently pulled myself back.She gave me a wide grin
"Better?",she asked.
"Very much,thank you.",I smiled back .
______________________________________
I sat onto the bench in the courtyard,as usual my favourite book in my hand.
"IT was one of those times when he could just lose hope.
He remarked his Dad's saying
" Destiny is what transfers you from what you are to what you wanna be come ."
There is no fate.We make our own destiny.You can always control your destiny by a matter of selection of choices.You take the path.
It is in the moments of your decisions that your destiny is shaped.Destiny counts on choices.
You can't just hope and wait for your destiny,you have to go for it.Chase it and at the end achieve it!............."
I was so lost into it when Rose appeared.
"Hey,lazy head.What's going on?",she asked in a bossy manner,her hands folded and chin raised up to me.
I didn't want to tell her that I was reading it.I tried to hide but she just wasn't silly enough not to guess what I was doing.
"Reading your favourite book again?",she said sarcastically.
I nodded.She broke into a laugh.I gave her a smile.
"Sit down,Rose.",I said in a graceful manner patting on the place right next to me.
She did the same.
"So ,Silver......How is it going .",she uttered.
"Not good.",I remarked trying to be honest.
"You are very brave,my friend.",she gave me a shrug.
I tried to impress her by saying
"Yeah......your friend is a lion hearted person.I ain't afraid of anything,girl.",I boosted and felt stupid at the same moment for showing off to a person who knew me so closely
"Can I ask you a question?",she said.
"Did Filbury Miracle from your story book cry too?",she said with an Ironic accent.
I felt embarrassed and my face turned red.I felt if I were an idiot.
I gave her a Shyful grin.She laughed out loud.
It was good,at least she was happy.
There was a huge crowd in the courtyard .Kids were at each other's throats,playing,gigling,screaming at each other.
Rose placed her hand on my shoulder and came up with something
"How about making new friends?"
"Me?.....hmmm.Isn't one enough.",I replied.
"Losing friends is bad,isn't it?",she said,her head lifted up to sky.
I didn't comment.Instead my eyes were fixed onto the floor.
After a pause I finally spoke
"I just miss Shawn.I do hope I meet him once again .We were like brothers .Best friends,dudes stuff,you understand?".
"Very well!",she scoffed.
Suddenly,I spotted a football in air heading straight for me.I luckily managed to jump out of my place.I was merely seconds away from being knocked into my face.
A child came running,behind.He seemed rather young,nearly ten.
"I m sorry,Are you okay.",he apologized.
"Yes,bro.Here's your ball.",I returned his ball to him.
"What's your name,brother ?",he asked.
"SILVER .And this is my friend Rose.",I introduced.
"Okay!I m Sam.Sam Burrester.Wanna play?",he invited.
I glanced at him.I didn't want to turn a kid down so I smiled to him and joined him and his friends in the game.
_____________________________________
Back into the dorm,I laid down on my bed.Madam Alessa had already turned off the lights at 10.00. I attempted to sleep but I couldn't.
All my past memories focused into my head like a movie.
I turned my blanket down and saw Rose lying on the other bed next to me.She was deep asleep.
I closed my eyes ,focused to sleep.
But it wasn't helping.I was a little hungry.I had skipped the dinner this night as I didn't like greens and now I regretted it.
The shadows at dark were creeping me.Everyone was asleep but me.That night,I slept late and in the morning I was sleepy.
That morning,a shock occured onto me when I joined the assembly ranks in the morning at 7.00 as per the weekly schedule,except for Sundays.
We were granted one free day when I preferred to read my book as other kids mostly played baseball outside.
Weekly routine used to be a difficult thing to deal.
All the orphans were forced to wake up at 7.00. Fifteen minutes for taking a bath,dressing up and then straight into the Cafeteria room for breakfast.
Near around 7:30 we were dragged into the Assembly Hall where we were greeted by Mr Patrick.
All the orphanages of all the campuses  gathered here,wearing same uniform(black pants and white shirt for boys and black skirt and white shirt for girls) and sang the national anthem in harmony,prayed together ,heard the message of day and then left for our classes.
At 10:15,we were called out for lunch in the Cafeteria hall.After recess,we again turned back to our classes.
Our classes finished at 12:00.
Then we were summoned into the P.E room.For those,who don't understand ,I need to illustrate ,physical education room.
Here we were forced to perform exercises.I always hated this period.
Strenuous exercises for the senior orphans,it was tough ,way too touch.
Especially,after we were tired from school.
Then we were allowed to go into courtyard for playing ,having fun etc.
We were not allowed to enter dorm until evening at 8:00.
Till then we were forced to stay in the courtyard.
We made beds,washed ourselves at slept at 10:00.
And this dull routine continued again.
But that day,something was different.
In the assembly hall,I examined around,looking for Madam Alessa.
She was the only person to owe me some kindness since my mother had passed.
My heart froze to the thought of her not being there.
Minutes later Mr Patrick appeared,in a grumpy voice he addressed us and stated
"Today,I have a couple of announcements to make.First the time for the renovation of assembly hall is extended.It will take a little longer than planned.
Secondly,you shall be aware that Madam Alessa has left the orphanage.Her daughter,7,is struggling with cancer.She needs to stay focused with her.So Madam Clare will monitor you now.She is your new caretaker."
His words hit my heart like a stroke.
How could she just leave?
How could she leave me alone?Why I was so attached with her?Did she have a daughter?Will her daughter even recover?
I felt sympathic for her daughter.
Many strange questions popped into my mind.Rose seemed interested and excited to spot a new caretaker among us.However I was not convinced by that thought that she would be nice to us.
I stared at her thoroughly.She had a stiff face with no emotions to show up.
Had black hair covering half of her pale face.She looked no good but who was I to judge her by her appearance?
_____________________________________
"Everyone,quickly sit down on the table and finish your silly meals,NOW!",she shouted loudly in the Cafeteria Hall.
I sat down on the table with Rose next to my side and some other orphans from my dorm.(campus).
We used to talk sometimes,but were not really friends.No one had time for others.We greeted each other when we say each other,that was just how we got along.Not much of friends ,actually.
There was a plate in front of me filled with Black beans and buns.
It wasn't the lunch I welcomed.I was disgusted by the thought of tasting that tasteless beans.
The orphanage food used to be tasteless,saltless and horrible!
Everyone was eating.I guess they were used to these types of meals.Even Rose, as her mother wasn't a good cook so it didn't make quite a difference.I often skipped those meals back home and preferred bread slice with jam or cheese.I mostly made myself a meal back home.
There was no way I was eating that food.It didn't smell good,even.
Madam Clare,with her stick in her head turned toward me,realizing I wasn't eating.She stepped forward,bent down and spoke
"You little son of a ..........,why aren't you eating,you idiot!Stuff this food into your mouth now!."
I trembled by her words.How could she be so rude?
I sensed  trouble.It wasn't going to be easy to deal with her and I was ready.I had gone through this situation before with Ms Darvy.
It felt normal to be treated like that.
I was prepared this time.
I sighed and accepted that it was my fate!

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