Let Me Feel Again ~ Steve x Bucky

Nightmares

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Alright, it's fucking warning time bitches. If you don't like gay people, leave. I don't need any of that negative shit. Don't tell me to write other ships, I'll do what I want to do with MY story. Also, the only reason this exists is because I am obsessed with this ship, but it's never gonna be canon, so I have to make stuff up while I cry about it later. All that aside, I hope whoever reads this enjoys it and any support is much appreciated. Enjoooooooyyyy!!
(Ps: this takes place around the time of Civil War but without the whole accords thing and without Zemo. They just found Bucky and, with some help from Wakanda, they made him stable enough to live a somewhat human life.)

Bucky's pov

I can't move, there are chains tying my hands, feet, and middle to the chair. My entire body felt as if it were covered in smoldering embers. The room was dark but dotted in random glowing lights from the machines they used to torture me and the other captured soldiers. Suddenly, excruciating pain swept through my head, arcs of electricity danced around my face and stung my skin. I screamed in pain and tried my hardest to escape the restraints. The chains only tightened and the pain only increased.

"Maybe next time, Soldier, you'll follow instructions," a voice with no body echoed.

I screamed in response as I sat up in the bed Tony gave me when I moved to the Avengers tower, only to find the sheets and mattress ripped to shreds and pieces of it stuck in my metal arm.

Steve suddenly burst into the room.
"What is it!? What's wrong!?" He shouted.

I chuckled humorlessly as I rubbed my face, "Just nightmares."

His face softened as he walked over to the bed and sat down next to me.
"Buck..." he sighed.

I pulled my face put of my hands and looked at the alarm clock by the bed.
2:13 am

I covered my face again, "I woke ya up again didn't I?" I groaned. When the nightmares became more frequent, so did my screaming. Steve was always a light sleeper and he woke up every time.

He didn't answer, he only inched closer and rubbed my back. I flinched at the touch of his fingers, I always had to remind myself that he didn't want kill me, that touching each other was a sign of trust.

Steve sighed, "You can't keep living like this. This is the worst night yet and I can't imagine it'll get any better."
"I know..." I groaned.
If only you knew what goes on inside my head, I thought.

"We should get you a therapist, I had one for a while, it helped me quite a bit," he said.

I sighed, I hate admitting I need help sometimes, "We'll see. Get back to bed, punk. I'll be alright."

"You sure?" He questioned.

"Yes Steve, now get your ass to bed," I said as I playfully shoved him off the bed. He only rolled his eyes before he quietly padded out of the room.

••••••Time Skip•••••
7:00 am

I fell asleep again soon after Steve left, the only dream I had was of a previous mission, not as bad as the first but still traumatizingly gruesome. Begrudgingly, I got up and went to the kitchen to make my breakfast.

"Does anyone ever go shopping?" I muttered in annoyance as I pulled the milk and a small box of strawberries out of the fridge.

I made my way to the bistro table by the gigantic window that looked out over the city. It was starting to get to the end of Autumn and the frost was setting in, turning the orange leaves a slight white.

The chair across from me slid out.

"Mornin' punk. Sleep well enough?"

"You could say that," Steve replied, popping one of my strawberries in his mouth.

"Hey! Back off!" I growled, glaring at him. He smirked at me as he chewed.

A few silent minutes went by as we gazed outside at the waking city.

"Anymore nightmares?" He asked, breaking the silence.

"No," I lied, hoping he would believe me.

He sighed and shook his head in response, he definitely didn't believe me. He opened his mouth to say something, but he was rudely interrupted by the intercom.

"Misterrrrrr Bucky Barnes. Please report to the mechanics lab immediately, I wanna do something cool to your arm," Tony's excited voice rang over the intercom.

Steve laughed and I rolled my eyes.

"Better get down there before he hunts you down."

"Wonder what he's gonna do this time?" I pondered out loud. Tony was always trying to do new things to my arm. Just last week he upgradedit so I could control my strength depending on what I was using it for. I think it was because he was tired of me accidentally ripping the doors off the hinges.

Steve shrugged, "Only way to know is to find out. Meet me for training when he's done." He stood and made his way to his room to get dressed.

I should probably change too, I thought to myself as I looked at my bed raggled clothes. I got changed into basketball shorts and a muscle shirt before making my way to the lab.

As soon as the door closed behind me, Tony rushed forward and dragged me towards the counter in the middle of the room.

He patted the top of the counter, "Hop up, make yourself at home, whatever."
I did as I was told. Tony rushed back and forth, calling to F.R.I.D.A.Y for things that I didn't understand.

"Alrighty sir, let's get this done!" He said as he lifted my mechanical arm.
I pulled my arm away, "At least tell me what you're gonna do Stark."

"I suppose that's kind of important considering it is your arm," he mumbled as he took my arm again and started to pull up the metal plating, "I'm hoping that this new chip and slight wiring I developed will help you feel things when you touch them but it'll prevent you from feeling pain. So you could feel if something is soft or hard, smooth or rough, stuff like that, but if someone were to shoot that arm, you'd only feel the smooth metal of the bullet...What the hell is in your arm?"

"Bed sheets and mattress," I replied, rubbing the back of my head sheepishly.

He raised an eyebrow, "You say that like it's no big deal."

"I uh, I had a nightmare last night... it's not my fault I have a metal arm," I muttered.

He nodded his head in understanding, "I'll have Bruce work on something for you. Like an indestructible mattress or something."

After about and hour of him tinkering around and picking pieces of bed out, he announced he was done.

"I have a few things you can test it on," he said as he brought out a fuzzy blanket, a glass figurine, a bullet, and a rock.

I picked them all up and tested out my fingers. I was surprised to find that I could feel them, not nearly as well as my flesh hand. It felt as if I had five layers of latex gloves over my hand, but it would have to do for now.

"Wow, I never thought this could be possible," I mumbled in wonder.

"Pretty cool, huh? I'd explain the science, but you wouldn't understand," he said as he started putting his tools away.

"Thanks Stark, this means a lot."

"Eh, it's no problem. Part of the job and all that," he muttered as he immediately moved on to a different project.

And suddenly, it was like I wasn't there anymore as he became involved in his other project. I just shook my head and let myself out, heading to the gym.