Let Me Feel Again ~ Steve x Bucky

Mistakes Were Made

Bucky's POV

"You know," Steve whispered, his eyes barely open, "You're cute when you're lost in thought."

I was taken aback until, out of the corner of my eye, I saw a medication drip. My face immediately softened, "Steve, you're out of it. You don't know what you're saying."

"Yes I do," he protested, slightly slurring, eyelids already falling back over his eyes.

"No, you don't," I replied calmly, "Now, go back to sleep."

I don't think he even heard the last sentence, because before I knew it, he was snoring again. This reminded me an awful lot of when Steve and I were teenagers, before the war and before the serum. Steve was always sick and I always "played nurse" as he called it. He hated being small and sick, it never gave him a chance against bullies. I always had to be his saving grace, and damn, that punk got in fights left, right, and center.

I was suddenly taken back to my wandering winter soldier days and I remembered constantly looking down alleyways after I escaped Hydra and, for the longest time, I could never understand why I did it. That is, until the day the memories of wandering the streets, looking for Steve in the late evenings before the war, came back. I remembered looking down every alleyway when I couldn't find him at home, praying to God that I didn't find a dead and crumpled Steve down one of them.

My thoughts drifted to what Steve had said in his minute of consciousness. Had he meant it or was it just drug induced rambling? Should I bring it up when he comes back to reality? What if he did mean it? Thousands of questions and thoughts poured through my mind for the rest of the day.

                        ••••••••••••••

Just as I finished the last of knives, Steve's voice interrupted my thoughts once more, "Buck, why are you still here? It's almost midnight."

I looked to the clock above the door, and sure enough, the hands were almost on top of the twelve.

I shrugged, "lost in thought, I guess."

Steve's cheeks turned slightly pink and he looked away. I raised an eyebrow, did he remember what he said?

"Did you wake up at all during the day?" I tested.

He still didn't look at me, "I think so..."

"Yes or no, Stevie?"

He turned and raised an eyebrow with a smirk, "Stevie? When was the last time you called me that?"

"You're avoiding the question," I deadpanned.

He blushed madly, "Yes, I woke up."

"And?" I pushed further.

"And what, Bucky? I'm sure you remember what I said..." He said quietly.

"Yeah, yeah I do."

"Are you mad?" Steve murmured.

"No..." I sighed.

"Then how do you feel about it?" He questioned nervously.

"To be honest, I have no idea. I know that I care about you a lot, but something in my mind is telling me that I'm going to ruin it or something," I admitted, trying very hard not to look at Steve's face.

His brow knit in confusion, "Whatever's telling you that, it's wrong. You won't ruin anything, you are the most caring and kind person I've met. If you ever have issues, we can talk it out," Steve assured in a very shakey voice.

I took a deep breath and responded after a moment of silence, "If we're going to do this," I said, starting to look back into his eyes, "I need it to be at my pace."

"Of course," Steve said simply, "I understand. Everyone needs time with some things. "

I let out a breath,"Thank you, Stevie. I appreciate it," I said as I stood.

"You going back to the apartment?" He yawned.

I nodded, "Get some sleep, we can talk in the morning."

"Night, Buck," Steve mumbled as he started to close his eyes again.

"Night, Stevie," I whispered, kissing his forehead lightly.

I left the room and headed towards the elevator, real happiness flooded my brain for just a fleeting moment.

Alright! Again, sorry for the short chapter, but I really wanted to get this out of my head so I didn't forget it. I hope this confession went alright, I was never really good with those so tell me how I did and, again, please leave some writing tips, if you have any, in the comments. Thanks for reading, see you in the next chapter!