Let Me Feel Again ~ Steve x Bucky

Take Care Of Yourself

So, I went from action back to calm. some stuff may or may not go down in the next few chapters, so prepare yourselves. I hope you all are enjoying the story, I'm trying to write the best I can, but if you have any suggestions, please leave a comment! Enjoy, my dudes!

Steve's POV

Everything hurts. Why does it hurt? I don't remember what happened. 

"He's waking up! Get Sergeant Barnes!" Some loudly whispered. Two pairs of light footsteps left the room that were almost immediately replaced with heavy footsteps entering the room. I slowly opened my eyes to find myself in a dimly lit room with medical equipment strewn about.

"Bout time you woke up, punk," Bucky said in a low voice.

I glared at him as he made his way to the chair at the side of my bed.

He chuckled at my expression, "How many times have I saved your ass now? You really should pick fights with people your size."

"Does that mean I can pick fights with you?" I asked sarcastically.

"Nope. You know I'd win."

"Well that's no fun," I pouted.

"Life ain't fair, pal," he said crossing his arms and leaning back.

I started to sit up when suddenly Bucky was on his feet and pushing me back down, "None of that. You have four broken ribs, a concussion, and a hell of a lot of stitches, you need to stay laying down for a while. Take care of you for once."

I huffed in annoyance, but didn't argue. Bucky had a knack for always being right.

"Fine, but on one condition," I prompted.

Bucky raised an eyebrow in response.

"Come stay with me everyday I'm here and keep me company. I get bored by myself."

Bucky sighed dramatically, "If I must."

I rolled my eyes, "You're a jerk."

"And you're a punk," Bucky retorted, "what's your point?"

A petite nurse walked into the room interrupting our banter, "Good after noon Captain Rogers, Sergeant Barnes. Mr. Stark would like to inform you that Dr. Cho will be arriving tomorrow to preform tissue and bone reconstruction for Captain Rogers and tissue correction for Sergeant Barnes."

"Thank you," Bucky told the nurse as he stood up.

"Woah, where are you going?" I questioned grabbing his arm.

He smiled at me, "I'm just grabbing some stuff from the apartment, I'll be back in less than twenty minutes, calm down."

As soon as he left the room, I became very drowsy.

"It's alright Captain Rogers, I'm just giving you some medicine to numb the pain, it will make you sleepy," the nurse told me.

A little nap couldn't hurt, I thought to myself as my eyes slowly slipped close once again.

                       ••••••••••••••
Bucky's POV

I walked out of the hospital wing of the Avengers tower and headed toward the elevator. If Steve was going to get bored, I figured I'd bring some of his paints or pencils so he could entertain himself if I wasn't there.

As I pressed the up button on the wall to call the elevator, a pair of light footsteps approached from behind.

"Mind if I tag along for a while?" Nat asked as she came to stop next to me.

I shrugged, "If you want."

The elevator doors opened and we both stepped inside.

"So, when are you going to admit that you have feelings for Steve?" Nat started.

I turned and raised an eyebrow, "Why would I admit that? I don't know what I feel or if I feel. I care about him, but I'm afraid that as soon as I try to be something more than friends, he's going to leave. I can't lose him again."

She sighed, "I promise you he won't leave, and if you ever decide you want to come out, I can at least assure you he'll support you. He's not the kind of person to discriminate or judge."

the elevator stopped.

"Just, think about it. Okay?" she requested, patting my shoulder.

"I'll think about it," I replied, stepping out of the lift and leaving Nat to go to her room.

"You know I'm pretty sure he's gay too!" She shouted before the doors closed.

Steve gay? Yeah right. But maybe she's right about me. I could at least come out to him and see how he responds. I mean, I guess I've known I was gay for a long time but I was never allowed to think about those kind of things until a couple months ago, and even then I never really thought about it. I know Nat's right, Steve hates it when people aren't treated as equals for something they can't help, so there's no reason why he'd hate me, but there's always a "What If." 

What if this is the thing that makes him hate me?

What if it ends up making things weird?

What if I lose him again?

I shook the thoughts from my head and walked in the door of our apartment. I grabbed a few things: Steve's sketch book, colored pencils, my set of old military knives (the Smithsonian was nice enough to let me have them back), my sharpening stones and cloth, and a book.  

Should be good enough, I thought to myself as I walked back to the elevator.

                       ••••••••••••••

Back in Steve's room, I found him completely out cold and calm. I just smirked and sat down next to his bed. 

"Awww! They dulled my knives," I complained quietly as I ran my flesh thumb across the blunted edges, "At least it gives me something to do." 

I pulled one of the stones into my hand and started on a knife, letting half of my mind wander amongst my thoughts while the other half focused on the task in my hands. 

My mind wandered to fantasies:

Confessing to Steve.

Accepting each other.

going on dates together.

cuddling while watching movies.

tender kisses shared before bed.

heated kisses while giving in to lust.

loving each other until death comes at a ripe old age.

I want that. I want for everything to be okay. I want the world to solve its problems so Steve and I can just be normal. I want things that I can never have.

"You know," Steve's voice whispered, tearing me from my thoughts, "You're cute when you're lost in thought."