Language of Love

Communico

     That night, I begin to get tired. I don't want to be the first one to go to bed, so I lean my head into Fitz.

    "Getting tired?" He asks.
    "Just a little." I say.
    "You can go to bed."
    "No, that's okay." I say.

I feel myself drifting asleep to the the sound of his heartbeat and the smell of his cologne.

✿✿✿✿✿

    Gray sleeps on Fitz's chest. His mother says it's time for everyone to go up, but then noticed his fiancé sleeping.

    "Wake her up." She says. He shakes his head. He scoops up the girl and heads towards the cross room. He places her on the bed and pulls the blanket over her. She wakes up.

✿✿✿✿✿

   I wake up as Fitz tucks me into bed. I smile.

   "I didn't mean to fall asleep," I say.
   "I know, but I'm just the best pillow ever," Fitz says. I giggle.

    I reach up and pull him down for a kiss. I want him to stay right here. I could kiss him all night. His lips are soft and his hands warm. It's perfect. He pulls back.

   "I need to go." He says.
   "I love you." I say.
   "I love you too." He answers and leaves the room.

    I lay awake for a while. I try to fall asleep, but I can't. I'm not used to sleeping alone. I close my eyes, but then I'm cold. I warm myself up, but then I miss him. Slowly, I'm almost asleep, but the door opens. His mother stands in a bathrobe.

     "Come with me. He needs you," She says. I give a confused luck, but get up from the bed. I follow her up the stairs and into a large room. In the middle sits a gigantic bed. Fitz sits up.
     "I said go away." He says to his mother. I can tell there's a sadness in his voice. Oh, Fitz.
     "I am." She says and shuts the door with me still in the room.
     "Hey." I whisper.
     "Did she tell you to stay in here?" He asks.
     "She said you needed me." I recall.

     I sit on the bed. I feel him pull me close and hold me tight. I feel him crying.

    "What's going on?" I ask, he's not one to cry.
    "I'm sleeping in my dead sisters room and the only thing I see when I close my eyes is my fiancé lying on the floor in a pool of her own blood." He says.
     "I'm right here." I whisper.
     "I know, that's why I need you here." He replies.

    I fall asleep in less than ten minutes in his arms. It would have taken me an hour alone.

   The next morning I wake up by a kiss on my forehead. Fitz lays awake messing with my hair.

    "Good morning." I say.
    "It's breakfast time," He says.

     We walk downstairs and I see all the women busy in the kitchen, with the exception of one aunt who changes a diaper in the other room.

    "I thought she was sleeping in the cross room," Autumn, says.
    "No. We're sharing Pres's old room. It's a king bed there's plenty of room," He says, knowing damn well we were so close all we needed was a full size.
    "Right," Autumn says, skeptical.

    I help make pancakes while his sister prepares a strange food called "grits" and it looks odd. I notice something about her.

    "Is Autumn pregnant?" I ask Fitz, quietly in case she isn't. He nods.
    "She got divorced and found out she was pregnant a week later," He says.
    "Breakup sex?"
    "Guess so." He says.

    Soon, all the food is ready. After a long prayer which was thankfully not lead by me, but instead Fitz, we ate. I taste the grits and it's not the flavor that I'm thrown off by. It's like I'm eating sand in cake batter, but it tastes like nothing. Fitz hands me a cheese slice.

    "It'll taste better," He says. It helped with the flavor, not the texture, but I ate it. Then we all get ready. We hadn't unpacked last night, so luckily all of my stuff was still in Fitz's room. The shower is connected to his room and only his room.

     "We could shower together..." He suggests.
     "At your parents' house? I don't think so," I say.
     "It's where I lost my virginity," He comments.
     "I didn't need to know that." I say.
      "What? We're getting married, you have to learn this stuff at some point. It was with Lexie O'Malley. I was 17. My mom walked in on us halfway through. She ran out the door and forgot her panties," He says.
      "Okay. That was worse than mine," I say.
      "Wasn't yours with some creep," He says.

      "No. That was, oh I don't know, 5 years? No 4 after. I was 12, he was in high school and I thought I was so cool having a boyfriend in high school. Total tool. He broke up with me right after. We did it in the janitor's closet. My best friend, who also was a tool, stood watch," I say.

"You were 12?" He blurts.
"How old did you think I was?" I remark.
"I don't know like 18?" He guesses.
"I got pregnant when I was 16. I don't think so." I say.
       "Was it good," He asks.
       "Meh." I say, sensing his jealousy.

      He ends up showering first. I sit on the bed until he's done. He walks out of the bathroom with just a towel tucked around his waist. As much as I want to untuck the towel, I step into the bathroom. I take off my clothing and I'm caught off guard by my reflection. It's not my face or my body really. It's the huge scar that sits on my shoulder. I close my eyes and step into the shower. The water is already warm from Fitz's shower.

I step out of the bathroom in just my towel. Fitz sits at the vanity mirror, shaving his face. He turns and sees me. I walk to the suitcase and grab my clothes.

"The door is locked right?" I ask.
"Yeah..." He says. I drop the towel and put on my underwear. I catch him staring.
"You act you haven't seen my naked before..." I say.
"It's not..." He says. "It's the scar."