Burning Pages (Lil Xan Fan Fiction)

Forgive Me

Waking up can be really harsh especially when your dreams are better than reality. I knew Candy and mom had gotten into an argument, but I knew that I was no longer on punishment and I could at least walk around for a while.

I sat up in my bed and gave a sigh as I wiped my drousy eyes. I placed my bare feet on the cold ground and made my way towards the bathroom and began brushing my teeth.

I noticed that it was a new month and the fourth of July was coming up and I should have been getting my period around this time. I sighed and walked back over to my room to grab some clothes.

"Knock knock." This was his good morning to me, and I didn't really hate it.

"Hey there." I smiled.

"Your gonna be really happy with the news that I have for you." He leaned against the doorway with his hands behind his back.

"What is it?" I gave him a curious look as I cocked my head to the side.

He pulled his hand from behind his back revealing my phone.

"Woah I know-"

"Your mom told my mom to give it to you, but she didn't want to so she told me to do it, and she also mentioned it would be great for our relationship." He raised a brow and gave a smirk.

I took my phone out of his hands and rolled my eyes,"Yeah right."

"Well I have plans again today." Diego yawned.

"Oh, with Jess." I lacked eye contact as I grabbed my clothes out of my dresser.

"Yeah." He slowly replied causing silence to fall between us.

I began to get vivid images of us yesterday in the rain, causing me to think of what we could be or what we might be.

"Cassie." Diego began, "I know that me and Jess are dating and me and you have been messing around but I don't want you to think that I'm neglecting you, I do care about you."

"You care about me." I began walking towards him, "But do you really love me is the real question." I bumped him when I made my way out the room.

***************

Conversation with Austin!💓

Austin!💓
Hey heard you got your phone back, meet me at the park?

Me
Sure, I could meet you in 30 minutes.

Austin!💓
Okay 😉

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After my shower I decided to head to the park to meet Austin. I wanted to see what he was gonna say. I wasn't sure of what to expect of this little meet up, but I needed this.

Hearing my sneakers stomp against the concrete was the only thing that could compete with the sound of my beating heart. I didn't know where this was going to go, but I knew that this needed to end.

When I cut the corner I saw Austin nervously playing with his fingers.

"Hey is this seat taken." I sarcastically greeted him.

"Nah." He smiled and I knew it was fake.

"Look Cassie I made a big mistake, I Che-"

"Cheated on me I know." I looked down at my shoes not making eye contact with him.

"Did someone tell you because-"

"No one told me anything." I cut him off again, "I saw it with my own eyes yesterday."

"Look Cassie I don't want you to feel terrible, I mean we both have made mistakes and we can get through this." Austin grabbed my hand.

My eyes shot up at him in rage as I pulled my hand away, "We can't do anything! Nothing can be fixed its all just fucked up!" I shouted as tears funneled my eyes and I stood up, "I'm sorry but what I did wasn't a mistake, I don't regret a damn thing that I did with Diego because if you do something you mean it."

All of the words spilled out of me at once and I couldn't control what was coming out of it.

"But you told me that he meant nothing to you." Austin's voice cracked.

"I lied, and I can't keep lying to you anymore. I'm gonna have to let you go Austin because I've fallen for someone else." I backed away slowly and began my journey back home.

My head was pounding and my stomach began cramping. I didn't understand my feelings, we both betrayed each other there was nothing left in that relationship, and with someone like Diego around I couldn't be loyal if I tried.....

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"Diego's P.O.V"

I was sitting on the couch smoking a blunt when I remembered the pills that were in my pocket. My anxiety was getting the best of me and I needed something to make me feel normal.

I pulled the bottle of Xans from my pocket and put two of them in my mouth and chugged them down with some cream soda.

I closed my eyes as I leaned back on the couch letting my thoughts and worries drift away.

"Babe, how does this look right now?" Jess came from the back dressed finally dressed in her outfit to go out in.

"It looks great." I replied with my eyes still closed.

"Look at me." She demanded.

"I am." I tried to open my eyes but I was feeling drowsy.

"I bet if I was Cassie your eyes would be wide open." She complained.

"Oh my gosh why are you so jealous, with you its Cassie this, Cassie that are you lesbian or something?" I groaned.

"Because you obviously want her more than me!" Jessica shouted with tears streaming down her face.

"Such a drama queen....." I got up and began walking out the door.

"That's right leave! And don't ever come back." She sobbed and slammdd the door.

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"Cassie's P.O.V"

I sat in my room in my reading nook sad and crying, when I heard the front door open. I figured that it was my mom coming home and Candy would be leaving.

I wiped away my tears quickly and straightened my face. I thought that my mother would at least speak to me or look at me but she did neither. She just walked into her room and closed the door. I heard the creaking of the bed when she laid down in it.

I sighed and got up and was about to close my door when I heard the doorbell.

I raced downstairs to answer it, knowing that this time it was Diego. When I opened the door his eyes were low and he looked lost.

"Diego are you okay?" I asked.

"Yeah totally." She shrugged and stepped in.

"You don't look like it." I said.

"I had a rough day, goodnight Cassie."

"Night."