Yes No or Maybe

Alfie

Do you know what sucks? Being in love with your best friend, who also just happens to be your roommate, sucks. A lot. And the fact that my best friend is straight doesn't make thing any easier.
It's frustrating; it really is.
I just hate the fact I feel this way about Joey. It just hurts me to know that he'll never like me the way I like him. It hurts me to know I can't do anything but watch as he lives his life. It hurts me to know I can never tell him how I feel about him unless I want him to hate me. This feeling; this pressure; it's all frustrating.
And aside from that, there's the act of little things, like shirtless Joey, bothers me. Bother isn't really the correct term; it's more like... it does things to my body. Oh, God.
And when joey leaves the bathroom door open as he sits there taking a dump; it's just... different now. It didn't bother me before. I mean, sure it was weird but it didn't mean anything. But now it's... strangely arousing; half naked Joey has an effect on me. My face reddens at the thought.
"Alfie! Have you seen my shirt?" Joey yells from my room. Yes, from my room because he started to use my shower again. I really don't understand the difference between his and my shower.
Anyway, knowing that he used my shower, I proceeded to abandon my bedroom for the time being. You may understand why.
However; before I left, I hid his favourite shirt, the one he's asking me for.
Joey and I just always pull little pranks on each other. It's just how we show our love; friend-wise not Alfie-wise.
I sigh at myself before getting off the living room sofa, "Hold up!" I rush downstairs and into my bedroom.
And their stands a shirtless Joey. Fuck.
I freeze, my eyes on nothing but my half-naked roommate. Shit. Shit. Shit.
He turns over to face me. "Alfie?" he seems confused, or maybe a little concerned.
I blink as I realise that I have indeed been staring at him. "Sorry, uh your shirt, right. I think I hid it," I say as I walk over to my wardrobe, "in here." I pull a side open and grab his shirt before tossing it at him.
Joeys jaw drops and he pretends to be upset. At least I hope he's pretending.
"You hid my shirt?"
I shrug before saying "well you're the one who hogged my shower. I don't get it. Why use my shower?"
Joey's eyes widen a bit and he blinks quickly before looking away. "I-I told you already- you're shower is nicer and stuff." He frowns and slips his shirt on.
I raised an eyebrow. "I really don't see the difference."
Joey shrugs lightly. "Meh."
There's something about him that I can't point out. I just can't read his expression.
"Well, I'm gunna go make breakfast," I say, trying to change the subject.
I quickly rush out of the room in hopes of escaping pure awkwardness.
This is the problem. It's been going on for a while now; things just become awkward between us. I hate it. I simply want everything to go back the way it was; when we'd chat all the time and hang out.
I want him to be the best friend he used to be. It's not Joeys fault though; it's actually my fault. I'm the one who developed these feelings for him. I'm the reason things are becoming awkward between us. I'm the reason this became frustrating. Everything is my fault. If only I didn't feel this way, then things would be normal. I can't help it though. It's like my heart has a mind of its own.
People say that love usually ruins friendship, and I can't believe they're right. Its ruining my friendship with Joey. Even when he doesn't know the truth, things are fucking up.
I push thoughts aside and begin to cook breakfast.
And this brings me to the next point; now that I've realised my feelings for Joey, my body just does these things by itself. Like, it'll put extra effort into cooking meals. Sometimes it'll even try to impress him. Dear God.
Anyway, I begin to cook eggs and bacon, and then I prepare to bagels. Something deep inside of me is hoping that Joey will like it; the other side of me is scolding myself for even thinking such thoughts. I'm seriously beginning to develop a fourteen year old girl's mind and heart.
I sigh as I place the bagels, eggs and bacon on two plates.
"Joey! Breakfast is ready!" I call, grabbing the two plates and placing them on the table.
It takes Joey some time to arrive, but I let that go. We both sit down and eat in science, each minute making the situation more and more awkward.
Finally I say "want to hang out?"
He seems a bit surprised as his eyes meet mine. "You want to hang out?"
"Yeah, I just want to get out, you know? Maybe to watch a movie or something." I shrug as I finish the last bits of my breakfast.
"Uh, sure."
I get up to take the plates to the sink, but then Joey gets up. I collect my plate, as well as his and say, "I'll wash them."
He frowns before grabbing the plates from my hands. "No, it's okay, I'll do it."
It's weird because Joey almost never wants to do chores, and now he's offering to do it? Strange world.
"No, no, I got it," I insist, snatching the plates from him.
"Alfie! I told you I got it," he says, gritting his teeth and he pulls the plates away from me.
"No, Joey, I'll do it." I pull the dishes and he does as well, and before we know it, they fall and break into pieces.
"Look what you did!" Joey furrows his eyebrows as he frowns.
"I'm not the one to blame!" I protest.
"Whatever ill clean it up. Sorry about that." His face softens, making me feel like the guilty one.
I sigh. "No. I'm sorry. I'm at fault too, so let me just clean it up." I crouch down and begin to pick up the pieces of glass of the floor,
"I'll help," Joey offers, rushing off.
He comes back with a broomstick and a dustpan. I silently thank him and begin to sweep the glass into the dustpan.
In the end, we both helped each other to clean it up, and that felt good. It felt almost normal.
I smile at myself.
The rest of the day goes by fast as I edit some videos, and by the end of the night, I realize that we never got to hang out. I frown and get up from my desk. I really did want to hang out with Joey.
I leave my room and knock on his door. "Joey? Can I come in?"
"Come in!" Joey yells from the inside
I open his bedroom door and poke my head into his room. He's just lying in bed, staring at his laptop screen.
"We never got to hang out," I remind him.
He takes his eyes off the screen and glances over at me. "Shit! I totally forgot." He frowns. "Sorry Alfie. Maybe we can go out tomorrow?"
I feel a bit disappointed knowing that he forgot, but I don't blame him. He seemed a bit off today. "Sure," I say giving him a small smile. "Tomorrow, then. Well, goodnight, Joey."
He's still staring at me as I say this. He smiles back at me before waving a bit. "Night Alfie."
And just that smile and those two words put my heart at ease. It made me happy.