Yes No or Maybe

Joey

"Well... That's because..." Alfie begins, lowering his head. "Andrew and I... We were never together. He... He's not my boyfriend."
What?
What?
For a second, words won't come out of my mouth. I don't know how to react. I don't know what to say. I'm just simply shell-shocked.
They aren't dating.
They were never dating.
But... then why?
Why would he tell me they were dating when they weren't? What was the point of that?
"But what about the kiss?!" I blurt out. "Andrew... he..." I'm lost for words. What do I say? What can I say?
Alfie looks a bit alarmed. "The kiss?" He laughs lightly before shaking his head. "He was just- uh- trying to make a pass at me, but I told him I didn't see him in that way because I love..." He stops suddenly, his eyes going wide.
He has someone he loves.
Fuck, it hurts.
He loves someone. Someone that isn't me.
The thought upsets me immensely. I frown a bit before raising an eyebrow. "Because you love..." I instruct him to continue. When he doesn't, I decide it's wrong to poke at it. So instead I continue. "Never mind that. Why'd you tell me you guys were dating if it wasn't a thing? What was the point of that?"
I don't know why my blood suddenly starts to boil. Suddenly I just feel a bit enraged and irritated.
Alfie looks nervous, almost guilty, at my words. He starts to fidget slightly, obviously uncomfortable. "I... I can't answer that question, mate," he replies, laughing hesitantly. He always laughs like that when he's nervous or afraid. But what is he nervous of? What is he afraid of?
"And why not?" I pry, looking straight at him.
He shrinks back into his spot on the couch and looks at just about anything but me. "I... Joey, I just can't answer that. At least not yet... You- you won't like the answer. I'm sorry." He quietly says.
His eyes start to water, and it looks like he's going to cry.
Oh god.
"It's fine!" I urge. "You don't have to tell me." I try to smile but it's hard to.
"I wish I could." Alfie's voice is raspy, and he purses his lips before standing up.
My eyes follow up to him. "Where are you going?" I ask.
I don't want him to go.
"To bed," he answers, laughing lightly. "I need some sleep, man..."
"It's not even that late yet," I point out.
"Just... tired," he replies after a moment. "I'll see you in the morning."
He's about to walk away when I get up and grab his wrist. "Wait, Alfie, I..." I realize what I'm about to say. I can't tell him that. I just can't.
He stops but doesn't bother to even turn or look at me.
"What is it Joey?" he asks, his voice cracking.
"I..." I want to tell him. I want to tell him so badly, but it's probably not a good Idea. I shake my head, though he can't see it. "Never mind," I mumble, lowering my head.
That's when I notice his shoulders shake. What the hell? Then I hear a little sniffling noise. Is... is he crying?
"Alfie..." I quietly speak his name.
He doesn't respond, instead he just sobs loudly.
I let go of his wrist and step forward to wrap my arms around him. His back is pressed against my chest, which allows me to hear his heart pumping. It's racing fast and, surprisingly, it's soothing to me. My arms around him tightens, not enough to suffocate him, but enough to break someone's comfort zone.
Yet here he is, allowing me to break into his personal space.
"It'll be okay, Alfie..." I whisper into his ear. "Please don't cry." I lean forward and press a soft kiss to the shell of his ear. "Everything will be okay."
I don't know what wrong with him. I don't know why he's crying, but all I know is that I should be comforting him. I want to comfort him.
This only makes Alfie cry harder. His shoulders shake against mine and he lets out a sobbing noise. He's really crying.
"Alfie..." I sigh. "Please... I... don't cry, please," I beg quietly. "Everything will be alright."
After a few minutes of silence- except for the sound of a few sobs- Alfie says, "What make you so sure? How do you know? You don't know Joey."
"I do know," I persist. "You're Alfie, that's how I know. You can get through this. You can get through anything," I say, and I mean it. I really do believe that Alfie can do anything; that he can get through it all.
I admire him a lot. He is my inspiration; he is what allows me to keep going. He is what prevents me from giving up. God, I love him. I love him in every way. He is my world, my universe, my everything.
Yet I can't tell him. I just can't get myself to say those three words. Why is it so hard?
"It'll be okay, Alfie. You're amazing. You can get through this shit." I say in a light tone, smiling a bit. I gently press a kiss to the side of his neck, not thinking much of it.
"I believe in you."
A second later, just all of a sudden, Alfie turns around and wraps his arms around my neck, embracing me. He holds me tightly against himself, our bodies fitting together like puzzle pieces. I'm surprised when he does, but I react quickly by wrapping my arms around his waist.
We embrace in complete silence for what seems like forever, and I enjoy every second of it. His body against mine makes my heart beat and my knees weak. But it also feels amazing. I like it.
When Alfie finally does pull back- to my disappointment- he smiles a little. I smile back at him and wipe the remaining tears of his face.
"Thanks, Joey," I reply, laughing light-heartedly. If... if you wanna talk about it, tell me what's bugging you, you can. But that's up to you."
Alfie nods. "If I need to... yeah, I will." He smiles a tiny bit before pulling back completely. "But yeah, I can use some sleep. Goodnight."
I watch as he walks away without another word. "Goodnight," I merely whisper.
After he's gone, I decide to go back to my room as well. I'm pretty tired myself, but it's too early to go to sleep.
I sigh as I enter my room. I pick up my phone, which sits on the desk beside my bed, and open messages. I start to text a friend.
I type
Tess, uh, not to make anything awkward between us, but I'm in fucking love with your brother. Please help. Xx
And then I hesitantly press the SEND button. I'm scared of her reaction.
Not even a minute later, Tess replies:
Well this is a pleasant surprise. X