youngblood//L.H

"Her.Her name is Alex." (Luke's POV)

I didn't think I'd react like this. Seeing her was so hard. She looks different. But so fucking beautiful. Which makes it worse. Even getting angry at this point isn't helping in this argument, but it's drowning out the sound of my heart breaking. Again. I'd almost forgotten how it felt.
Almost.

- How the HELL do you think you were going to handle the STRESS of tour, travelling NON-STOP, MOVING to a city where you didn't have so much as an APARTMENT or even a DRIVERS LICENSE or really, any FRIENDS, all the while trying to make new music, keeping up with your family and taking care of your pregnant girlfriend? HUH? It doesn't sound all that easy all of a sudden?!"

I was ready to backfire up until the point where she said that. My head is spinning out of control. I can't think straight. Did she really just say what I think she did? W-wh.. I'm so lost and confused.
I look at her face. She clearly didn't mean for that to come out the way it did.
But it did.

- "Take care of my what now?" I ask. The question is rhetorical. I know what I heard. I'm just hoping I dreamt it.

- "Luke.. I, uh.. The day I broke up with you I.. I had found out a few days before that.."

- "That you were pregnant." I finish. "I can't believe this."
I really can't. I got my girlfriend pregnant. At fucking 19. And I was oblivious for 3 years. I let myself fall on the bed. My entire body feels numb.
She crouches down to meet my eyes. Those damn eyes. I don't know whether I should be shocked, angry or anything else. I feel weird more than anything right now.

- "Please, don't hate me more than you already do. I didn't want you to give up on everything you worked so hard to build because of this. Seeing you succeed is all I've ever wanted. I'm still so proud of you guys, but we were 19. You were in no position to raise a bab..."

- "And you were? Luce, you were also 19, how the hell were you supposed to do it? Alone?"
A wave of guilt takes over me. I want to take back all the yelling. Fuck, I feel so bad.
"You had things going for you. And I know you. We talked about it: you didn't want kids. So why did you have.. him/her?"

- "Her. Her name is Alex. And that's because I'm an idiot who's to busy to notice her period is 3 months late and some, therefore making it impossible for me to get an abortion. It was my mess.. you didn't need to help me clean it up."

- "Lucy, it takes two to make a baby! It's my mess, just as much as yours! It wouldn't have been easy sure but it could've been easier with me. And the boys."
Speaking of...
"Do they know?" I sigh.

- "Yep. They all found out today. Ash and Mike, by accident, and I called Cal to let him know."

- "Why did you leave me for last?" my voice shakes.
I feel so messed up right now.

- " It was harder since it's you. Plus, I didn't want you to have to be the one to tell them after everything. It's my mistake. Deep down, I know I should've told you, and I'm sorry. I fucked up."
She touches my hand and I feel goosebump spread across my whole body.
I'm not mad anymore. I'm still hurt, but I get it. Had it been me, I don't know what I would've done. Cried a lot, that's for sure.

She's hurt me. I've hurt her. But all I want right now is to kiss her. I'm pretty sure she told me she still loves me. So do I.
You don't move on from someone like that. Ever.

- " Can I meet her?" I hold back tears.

- "She's downstairs, it's whenever you'd like." she sniffs.

- "Can I ask you something?"

- "Shoot."

- " What did you tell her about her dad?"

- "That it's Mumma's fault that he's not here. She knows who you are though. I've showed her pictures. She thinks you're pretty, since she looks like you." she laughs.

- "A three year old narcissist? Well she is your daughter alright" I tease.

And we both just laugh, not leaving each other's gaze, or letting go of our hands. I don't think I've ever craved someone's soul so much before.
She owns my ass.

Lucy calls Mike and tells him to send Alex up.
I'm nervous, I'm about to meet my daughter for the first time. HOLY FUCK. I'm a dad. This really isn't sinking in. AT ALL.
I feel like I shouldn't ask, but I need to.

- "Luce?"

- "Yeah?"

- "Did you ever.. change your mind about telling me?"

She pauses before answering.

- "Every damn day since."