youngblood//L.H

"I don't want to talk about it." (Luke's POV)

- "Holy shiiiit yes baby oh i've been dreaming about you all dayyyy!" Calum yawns while plopping down on the bed.

- "If only you were this happy to see me.." I chuckle. "I'm just going to go out on a whim here and assume that that's your bed?"

- "You genius!" Calum sasses me, sitting up.
He doesn't say anything, he just looks at me.

- "Cal, what are you doing i thought you were tired. That's why we came back here in the first place."

- "I am, and i do plan on sleeping. A LOT. But it was also the only way i knew we'd be alone."

- "For what?" I say, confused as ever.
And then it hits me. He wants to talk about..

- "No Cal, no just no." I shake my head.

- "Luke, please. You know i love you mate but everytime we're in England or someone mentions London or god forbid someone's name happens to be Lucy, it's like you shut down completely. That's not my best friend. I know you Hemmo, okay and i know that this hasn't been easy without her but we all miss her. And i know it hit you really hard, harder than any of us but she's gone. We can't change that" Calum says softly.

- "I.." i start, holding back tears. "I don't want to talk about it."

- "Well when will you want to? It's not like we can't keep pretending this doesn't hurt us! When you bottle up your emotions, it bites you in the ass and.."

-"Calum! Don't you think i know this?" i snap.
"I'm sorry okay but i don't want to talk about this, i.. i can't physically say her name without feeling like someone is ripping my heart out. Or look at old pictures, or read old tweets. I can't think about her for two seconds befo.." i say, losing it.
I started bawling my fucking eyes out.

- "Shhh Luke it's okay i'm here. I get it, alright you don't need to explain yourself. I'm sorry i asked i just..." he stops as his voice breaks. "I just need you to find some closure."

- "She was my fucking soulmate Cal. The love of my life. I was 19 and i knew this already. I'm never going to find someone like that again."

- "Listen, she was your girlfriend but she was also your best friend, and mine. She was my best friend, and well, i'm never going to find her in someone else again. It'll be different but it doesn't mean it won't be great too."

- " Do you really believe that?" i look up at him.

- "Absolutely not" he says laughing, making me crack up in the process. "but most days it makes me feel better".

-" I love you man."

- "Me too Luke, me too. Now i'm going to sleep before I die, but if you need me, just wake me up, okay?"

- "Promise."