heads up: i never usually cry reading fanfic but i sobbed writing this. just a warning :')
〰️calum〰️
i opened my eyes and looked around. bella. i opened my seatbelt. "bella!" i screamed. her carseat was on the right side, my heart was pounding out of my heart, i was praying to god that not a scratch would be on her.
as i climbed to back, glass was shattered and the car pushed the door in. "bella, bella, bella." i cried and saw her, she looked horrible. i took her out of her carseat and rocked her back and fourth crying.
"hey, look at me princess." i said threw my tears, she looked week and barley could keep her eyes open. she was bloody and had wounds all over her. "you'll be okay, okay?" i held her tight to my arms and i could hear sirens.
arabella wasn't even crying, she was just trying to keep her eyes open, struggling and it broke my heart so much. ambulance came and saw us stuck in my car. the fire department got the door opened and the medics took arabella and me. they took care of her more rather than me.
i just cried and continued to say her name and say its okay. i was telling her it was okay when in reality i was telling myself it was gonna be okay.
"whats your name?" a paramedic ask me.
"calum, calum hood and thats my daughter arabella hood." i said threw my tears.
"we're doing all we can, calum." she said as the other was trying to stop bellas bleeding. bella was moving a little more and was crying now.
"baby, you'll be okay. these people are gonna help us feel better." i said and she continued to cry.
"daddy!" she screamed and reached for me. i bit down on my lip so hard to stop myself from sobbing. i wanted to climb out of the bed and rock her and sing to her and kiss her and love her but i couldnt.
it was long till we reached the hospital. they rolled us to different areas. "wait! wait! i need to be with her!" i cried as they rolled me in the opposite direction.
"dont worry. they're going to take care of her." the paramedic said.
"but what if, what if she—" i swallowed and cried. "dies." i whispered. the sound felt like a stab in my heart as it is.
"she wont, your daughter is in good hands." she said and nurses and a doctor came.
"is there family or someone we can contact? your wife?" a nurse asked as they checked me.
"im not married. her mum, lana michaels." i answered and tried to stop crying. she nodded and walked off. i had minor cuts and scratches on me other then that was okay. i didnt have my phone since it was in the car.
i just laid in the bed, starring at the ceiling, hoping my little princess would be okay.
+
"calum!"
i shot my head up and lana came running and hugged me tight. "are you okay? is arabella okay?" she cried and i just held her tight and cried too.
"i dont know." i barley could choke out. "im so fucking scared i dont want to loose our baby. ill hate myself for the rest of my life."
she pulled and grabbed my cheeks. "calum this wasnt youre fault. that jackass ran a red light and inflicted this pain on our family. this is not your fault."
all i could do was cry. lana held me tight and rubbed my back as i cried into her neck. after a while i calmed down again and she wiped my face. "i'll go ask about her okay?" she said softly.
"can i use your phone? mine was in my car and i just want to call fleur." i said looking down at my hands.
"of course" she said and handed me her phone. she walked out the room to the nurses desk while i dialed fleurs number. the phone rang a few times before she finally picked up.
"hello? whos this?"
"fleur—its me, i-i got into a crash. with arabella." i said and bit on my lip looking around.
she was quiet for a split second before she said anything. "where are you? im coming right now." i told her what hospital i was at before hanging up. lana came back and frowned.
"shes in surgery. glass cut her organs and she had internal bleeding."
"oh my god." i said and shoved my face into the pillow. she sat next to me and rubbed my back again. i wanted to die. i rather have myself die than bella.
i just laid there with a pillow in my face and lana next to me. we sat there for a while, just in silence. however, i heard lana put on classical piano music. it reminded me when lana was pregnant and we would play that so bella would hear it in her tummy.
clair de lune had a special place in my heart because that specific song was one that for some weird reason bella would kick to. whenever i hear it, i want to cry because i realized how excited i was to be her dad. i realized how much i was going to love this baby. i realized id do anything for this baby even if that meant risking my life for her protection.
a doctor came into the room. "calum hood?" he asked.
"yes? thats me." i sat up and lana sat up.
"um," he straightened out his throat. "im sorry to say but, your daughter didnt make it. she had too much internal bleeding." he said quietly.
i lost it. i absolutely lost it. and so did lana. the most ironic thing was that clair de lune played just as he said it.
everything felt blurry. i felt as if i was drunk and i didnt know how where i was or what i was doing. i was confused and lost and sad. so all i could do is cry like a helpless child. cry just like arabella did in the ambulance.
the worst part was that i never got to tell her that i loved her so fucking much and that she was the best daughter a guy could ever ask for.
the doctor left and fleur ran in. "shes gone." i screamed. "shes fucking gone." fleur ran to me and held me so tight. i held her tight back. lana just sat in the corner crying but i pulled her in too. we just hugged one another. fleur was crying too now.
at one point, tears could no longer come out because ive cried so much. lana had to step out and get air. fleur was in the bed with me, stroking my hair and kissing my face as i curled in a ball.
"i miss her so much already." i whispered.
"shes somewhere way better baby." fleur sniffled.
"but i never got to tell her that i loved her." i said abd looked up at fleur. she had tears in her eyes and stroked my cheek.
"you can tell her right now." she answered. i rubbed my nose and thought about it. i turned on my back and looked up at the ceiling.
"arabella, its me, daddy. im so sorry that i let this happen, but, maybe you just werent meant to be here for long. but, for the time you were here with me, i just want to tell you that you have boughten so much happiness into my life, even before you were born. in fact, when mommy told me she was pregnant with you, i broke out in tears of happiness that was going to be a dad. i love you so so so so so so much. words cant even explain how much love i have for you. you'll forever be my little princess." i said and cried a little. fleur hugged me and rocked me, trying to calm me down while the words of the doctor replayed in my mind.
