Let Me Be The One ✅

Second

| 𝙹𝚒𝚜𝚘𝚘'𝚜 𝙿𝙾𝚅 |

I still remember that night the accident happened clearly, even if it has been three months since then.

I clearly remember it as if it was just yesterday. The wound in my heart is still fresh, despite how long it was since then.

They say that time is supposed to heal it, but I guess I haven't done much of the healing.

Perhaps it is because I am still stuck about it. I could not fully move on from that night. I couldn't learn to forgive myself. I couldn't stop blaming myself. I couldn't remove the image of seeing with blurry vision, as I had also severely got wounded from the impact of the crash, the unconscious bodies of my family members.

I thought that we'd all survive but I was the only one able to make it to the hospital. It hurt so bad, more than the wounds I got, to have heard the news of their death when I woke up.

If I had known, I would have not invited them over to watch me play the piano. I could have played that night perfectly still even without them watching me and giving me support.

I could have just took a cab and went home on my own. And they might have not died that very night. They could have still been with me up to this day.

I sighed as I stared at the ceiling. After crying my heart out earlier in front of my bestfriends whom I treat and consider as my very own sisters, I felt drained and sleepy.

Rosé was the one who accompanied me back to my room and tucked me in. Lulling me to sleep with her soft angelic voice.

While Jennie and Lisa took turns in cleaning the house and returning it back to its clean state.

But now, I was awake. And all alone. I sat up on my bed and checked to see if anyone was in sight.

I sighed when I realized that I was indeed alone. Again. I clenched my fists and closed my eyes as I stopped myself from crying again.

Being alone...makes me sad. It makes me feel left out.

The door suddenly bursts open and I saw Lisa carrying in a tray of food, Jennie and Rosé following after her. I smiled as I saw them. Though deep inside I still felt empty and sad. But I decided to no longer bother them with my own personal issues as they too have their own fair share of worries about their life.

"It's time for your dinner baby boo. Did you sleep good?" Lisa says as she places the tray on my sidetable while I nod in response to her question. "I hope you're feeling a tad bit better now." She continued.

"I am feeling a lot better now. Thanks to you guys." I said as I gave a smile and gave out soft giggles.

They all smiled widely and went to hug me again. But...what they didn't know was that I was just faking it so they no longer have to bother worrying about me.

I just had to pretend that I was fine and act like I'm already better so they would no longer be burdened of my own problems. I just have to pretend that I was happy so they would no longer feel bad seeing me cry.

I just needed to live normally even though I was really dead in the inside.

"Enough hugging already. I'm starving. Can I go eat my dinner now?" I said cheerfully while doing aegyo once they let go of me.

My voice and gesture coating the sadness my eyes express.

Making it oblivious that my cheerfulness was a lie and hiding my real pain away as they laughed and commented on my cuteness.