Aren't you happy for me?

3) It's different with him

"So, what do you think?" Dec asked once Stephen was out the door and Dec re-entered the living room.

Ant had stayed in the living room, but he had heard them kissing and giggling and he had heard those stupid things only people in love could say to each other when saying goodbye.

"Think of what?" Ant smiled.

Dec rolled his eyes and giggled before letting himself fall next to Ant on the sofa. "Of Stephen, stupid."

"Decky, I know him already" Ant grinned.

"You know what I mean" Dec said and raised his eyebrows. "So?"

"I think you are cute together" Ant managed to say.

"Really?" Dec smiled.

"Of course, he seems to be taking good care of you, I like that" Ant smiled. And he had to admit that it really was the truth. Dec needed someone exactly like Stephen, someone who was strong and someone who led the way in a way. And although Ant didn't like it, Stephen was all that.

"That means a lot coming from you, you know that right?" Dec said and suddenly he had this seriousness to his eyes and it took Ant's breath away.

He quickly averted his gaze and took a deep breath. "I know" he whispered and then he hugged Dec and as always planted a kiss to his head. "I am really happy for you, really..."

He said it not only to tell Dec but to tell himself as well. He had to stop this childish thinking. Dec and him had always been best friends and that was it.

"Thanks, you said that before like" Dec giggled and Ant joined in.

"I know" he said and then they both got themselves another beer and clinked their glasses.

"God, I am so lucky, right?" Dec smiled dreamily. "I mean, it's just so different with him somehow."

"Is it?" Ant asked carefully. "How?"

"I don't know, haven't had that before" Dec said and giggled again. "He just makes us happy."

"Well, that's good... that's how it should be, right?" Ant replied.

"Yeah..." Dec sighed contentedly. "Can I... Can I tell you something?"

"Sure" Ant smiled and put a hand on Dec's shoulder. "You know you can tell me anything."

"Okay" Dec smiled and turned his body a bit to look at Ant. "You know I am normally not... well... that fast with all this physical stuff and that..."

"Oh God, you slept with him already?!" Ant blurted out and he knew it had sounded a bit harsh.

Dec immediately looked away and lowered his head.

"I'm sorry, I was just surprised" Ant quickly added and in that moment he felt a bit sick. He didn't even know why. Dec was a grown man, he had slept with people before. But Ant had never been fazed by it like by this now.

His heart ached badly and he couldn't help but imagine Stephen touching Dec and he had to gulp hard to not be sick in his own mouth. "I mean, you are normally so careful and that..." Ant added in a much calmer voice now.

"I know" Dec said and he seemed to relax again. "I mean, it only happened today... I wanted to call you and tell you but I thought you'd come over anyways... I mean, it's just so different with him and God, Ant, it was... amazing!!"

"Good" Ant said. He didn't know what else to say. They always talked about stuff like that, after all they were best friends. But this now was different. Ant knew why, of course he knew. He was jealous, he didn't want another man touching his Declan.

Then again he knew how stupid it was to think like that and looking at Dec now he saw that he was a bit confused. After all, his best friend just made normal conversation, they always talked about stuff like that and actually Ant was very proud of that. So he knew he shouldn't blow this, he shouldn't risk Dec's trust.

"Okay, the truth?" Ant smirked and smiled. Dec relaxed immediately and nodded.

"Okay" Ant smiled. "I am a bit surprised. Last time you waited for 3 months like. And now 3 days or what it's been" he grinned and tried to ease the tension a bit. Dec only giggled and shrugged his shoulders. "But the main thing is that you are happy, okay? Because then I am happy as well. And I can tell that it is different with Stephen for you, I can see that in your eyes. So that's all I need to know. He really is a good guy."

"I know, thank you" Dec smiled. "I thought you would think I am a whore or something."

"Decky!" Ant laughed.

"What? I mean, I would think that if you just jumped someone you barely know" Dec giggled and poked out his tongue.

"Dec, you've known Stephen for 6 months now" Ant said and rolled his eyes.

"I know, I'm just messing around" Dec grinned and giggled again.

"You really are happy, aren't you?" Ant smiled and ruffled Dec's hair.

"Yeah" Dec sighed contentedly. "You know what? We didn't even have to talk about it, it was somehow clear who was topping and all that? Is there something bad about being a natural bottom?"

Ant laughed. But only to hide his hurt. He knew they always talked about stuff like that, but this time in particular it was hard. God, it was so hard.

"Dec, when you see the both of you together it's pretty clear who does what" Ant grinned and poked out his tongue.

"Shut up" Dec giggled and let himself fall against Ant. Ant wrapped his arms around Dec and took in his scent.

"Come on, you've always been quite camp" Ant teased again and Dec giggled even more, making Ant's heart skip a beat from his movements against him as Dec was still in his arms.

"See, that's why I am gay and you are only bi" Dec laughed and disentangled himself from Ant. Ant only rolled his eyes at Dec's cheekiness and poked his nose.

"So, haven't you met someone? You have to have met someone since Lisa who had a chance like" Dec asked, now more seriously.

"No" Ant said quickly.

"But you do want to meet someone, don't you?" Dec asked.

"No" Ant repeated. 'I already met him' he thought to himself and sighed.

"No? Oh, are you still not over her?" Dec asked concerned.

"Yes I am, it's just... I don't know" Ant sighed.

"Hey, it's okay" Dec smiled and put a hand on Ant's thigh. "No rush, eh? Look at me, I was single for over a year and had no intention in meeting someone and then Stephen came along. It always happens when you don't expect it."

Ant saw this sparkle in Dec's eyes again and he sighed loudly. He was torn inside. He knew he had the perfect man sitting in front of him. But he also knew this perfect man belonged to someone else now. And he knew there was nothing he could do about that.