Aren't you happy for me?

14) It's about him again, isn't it?

Ant tried to keep himself occupied, he started to meet up with old friends and in a way it got him distracted but of course nothing came close to Dec.

Dec had called him a few times, and every time he had turned him down his heart had shattered into a million pieces. That was why he had started to ignore Dec's calls at some point. Because it hurt so much to hear his voice and him trying again and again. And in the end it had worked and he hadn't heard from Dec for two weeks now.

It hurt him incredibly much that Dec had apparently given up on him, but it was better this way, he had wanted it this way and Ant was sure if he stuck to his plan, he would soon be over this and maybe he would meet someone and maybe he could then start with Dec all over again.

It was his biggest wish for the future. At the moment though he had to admit he still missed Dec every day, he missed his laugh the most, he had always loved his laugh. And his scent, smelling his hair and planting a soft kiss on top.

'Okay stop, that doesn't help' he said to himself and took a deep breath. Of course he knew he tried to play tricks on his mind, but he was sure if he would stick to his plan, it would all be alright in the end. It just had to be.

Ant became a delicate topic between Stephen and Dec. Dec knew it was unfair, but he just couldn't bring himself to enjoy life without Ant by his side.

"For God's sake, Dec" Stephen said angrily. "Can you please appreciate what you have? Can you please be thankful for what you have in your life? I am working my ass off for us, for you. I treat you, I do everything for you and you?! You don't even do one single thing I ask you to."

"I'm sorry, I forgot" Dec sighed. "Listen, I just go now, the store is still open, so I can-"

"You know what? Forget it" Stephen said and sat down. "Just forget it, I am not even in the mood to spend the evening with you anymore. You are acting so strangely, Dec. What the hell is wrong with you?"

"Nothing, I..." Dec said but then tears welled up in his eyes. "I..."

"No, don't play that card now, Dec" Stephen glared at him. "You know that doesn't work with me..."

Dec nodded and cried silently beside his boyfriend. "I'm sorry."

"Doesn't work either" Stephen said callously. "Dec, I just don't understand you anymore."

"That's the point" Dec whispered and sighed. Ant would have understood, Ant would have taken him into his arms and Ant would have listened to him, no matter how silly it was. And Ant wouldn't have been that angry at him only because he had forgotten to buy that goddamn bottle of wine.

"What?!" Stephen exclaimed.

"You don't understand me" Dec repeated and sniffed. "I feel so... so lonely..."

"Are you serious?" Stephen shouted. "Dec, I do everything for you! Everything..."

"No, you let me cry at night... You are even annoyed when I get sensitive, you don't understand me..." Dec said and he got a bit angry.

"That's bullshit" Stephen said and ran a hand through his hair angrily.

"It's... It's n-not" Dec sobbed. "You don't even notice that I cry at night. And... And you don't even try to understand that I miss Ant."

"Oh God!" Stephen shouted. "It's about him again, is it?! Sure it is, it's always about him! Dec, get the fuck over it! He doesn't want to be friends with you anymore!"

"That's not true!" Dec exclaimed and sprang off the sofa as well.

"Yeah, well... Where is he then, eh?" Stephen shouted back. "You haven't seen him in weeks. Dec, I am so sick of this topic! If you can't live without him then why don't you go to him, eh? Why aren't you two together then? If you love him that much?!"

"Stephen... I..."

"No, I tell you what! I'm sick of this! It's always him! Since this fucking golf incident you are different!" Stephen screamed and Dec had never seen him like that before. And it scared the shit out of him.

"You know what? Fuck this shit! Run to your Ant and don't bother coming back any time soon! I'm sure he'll be over the moon!" With that Stephen shoved Dec to the door and wanted to throw him out.

"Stephen, please..." Dec whimpered when Stephen pushed him out of the house by his shoulders. But Stephen only glared at him and slammed the door in his face.

Dec fell to his knees and started sobbing. "Ant..." he whimpered, over and over again.