Aren't you happy for me?

16) You have to leave this behind

"Oh God, Dec" Stephen exclaimed when he opened the door. "I was worried sick about you, I tried to call you a thousand times."

Dec let himself be taken in Stephen's arms and he sighed. But it was odd somehow, it was strange. He didn't know how to feel or what to do. He sat down with Stephen and listened to him but also somehow didn't listen to him. He was exhausted.

"I think I overreacted a bit" Stephen said and Dec nodded.

"I love you, you know that, right?" Stephen said and Dec nodded.

"And I am here for you, always" Stephen said and Dec nodded.

"And I am sorry about the thing with Ant, I know he was important to you" Stephen said and Dec raised his head and looked at him.

"Very" he whispered and thought about how Ant had held him the night before and a little tear made its way down his cheek again. He was exhausted, totally and utterly exhausted. And he didn't even care anymore. So he let himself be taken in Stephen's arms once again.

"I know, I'm sorry" Stephen said and Dec nodded. "I shouldn't have thrown you out, I know that. It was stupid. But you do have to understand my side as well, you know?"

Dec nodded and smiled a bit at his boyfriend. He knew Stephen was what he wanted, he knew that. He was sure of that.

"I just want you to be happy and so you have to leave this behind, okay?" Stephen said and Dec nodded. Stephen ran his hand over Dec's cheek and Dec closed his eyes and sighed. It felt different, but still he was exhausted, he didn't care.

"Good, I love you" Stephen said and Dec answered with a kiss and nodded.

The next weeks were a bit like a blur to Dec. Ant had tried to call him a dozen times, but he never answered. He didn't even know why, he was just exhausted.

He thought a lot about that night where Ant had comforted him and how safe he had felt in his arms. But at the same time how much it hurt to know that Ant had pushed him away over all those weeks before. And he just couldn't bring himself to talk things through with him, although he knew he should and although he missed him. But in a way he didn't understand himself anymore. He was exhausted.

He did everything Stephen asked him to, he was a good boyfriend to him. And after all those weeks before of whining and sulking, Dec knew that Stephen appreciated it, he knew that.

And Stephen was a good guy and he wanted his best, Dec knew that. And whenever Stephen accused him of something now, he apologised and he was rewarded with a kiss.

"See, everything is fine in the end, I told you" Stephen said to him one day and Dec nodded. He knew Stephen was right, but still, he didn't feel it.

Ant was worried about Dec. He didn't answer his phone and he didn't reply to his texts. Ant realised how stupid he had been and he feared that he had lost Dec's trust with his stupid plan and keeping distant from him.

But still, Dec had come to him when something had been wrong. So Dec still had to care about him and Ant had shown him that he still cared about his best friend as well.

So this was somehow odd. And Ant had a bad feeling about this. He could feel it, he could sense that something was wrong with Dec, something just wasn't right.

And that was why, after three weeks, he plucked up all his courage and walked to Dec and rang the bell. He just had to talk to him, they had to work things out.

They hadn't even talked about what had happened between them and he was desperate to get everything out of the way. Even if that meant that he had to confess everything and they wouldn't see each other for a while because of it.

"Ant" Stephen greeted him and he seemed to be more than surprised.

"Hi Stephen, err... is Dec in?" Ant asked nervously and peeked behind Stephen.

"No" Stephen said and sighed. "He went for a walk, to clear his head or something" he explained and showed Ant inside. "You want to wait for him?"

"Eh? A walk? Dec?" Ant asked in disbelief. Dec never went for a walk, that was more Ant's demeanour.

"Listen" Stephen said and sighed again. "I had quite some trouble because of you with him, so do you really think it is a good idea to come here?"

"I... err... what?" Ant asked and stared at Stephen with his mouth wide open.