Aren't you happy for me?

17) Why are you here?

"You heard me quite well, he was a mess because you didn't want to spend time with him anymore" Stephen said sternly.

"Oh" was all Ant could get out. He knew Dec would be sad, but this?

"Yeah, we actually fought quite a lot because of it" Stephen admitted. "He even spent one night god knows where because of it and that's when I realised I had to help him, rather than accuse him of not letting go."

"Help him?" Ant asked while his mind raced with thoughts. That night! Dec had come to him... because of a fight because of him?!

Ant was totally confused. His poor Decky. He had had to have such a hard time with everything. Ant suddenly felt incredibly guilty and responsible for the state Dec was in.

"Yeah, I help him, I am his boyfriend, remember?" Stephen said smugly. "Dec can be a confused lad at times, he needs guidance and I give him that. And he has learned a lot recently. He doesn't cry that often anymore."

"You can't be serious, right?" Ant said, raising his voice.

That clearly wasn't his Declan. His Declan was sensitive and not confused. His Declan was allowed to cry because there was always a reason behind it. His Declan didn't need guidance, his Declan needed a strong shoulder to lean on.

Ant turned around and walked towards the door.

"Oh, changed your mind then? Good" Stephen said. "You know, he has me. I can look after him, he doesn't need you. You should have seen him, he was in bits. And always on your side, God knows why. But I think he got it now."

"You are so stupid" Ant said angrily.

"I'm sorry?" Stephen said and Ant was astonished that the taller man wasn't even angry, but totally unaware of what was going on here.

"You heard me quite well" Ant said and stormed out of the house.

He was now even more determined than before to find Dec and he could kick himself for not coming over there earlier. After all he had known that something was wrong with Dec acting so out of character and that.

He only hoped he would be in the spot he thought he would be. He couldn't believe that Stephen didn't know a single bit about Declan, after being with him for so long. How could it be that Stephen talked like that about him when he loved Dec? How could he not appreciate how absolutely precious Dec was? How all of that belonged to Dec? All those beautiful features, and sensitivity being the most beautiful amongst them.

Ant tried every spot he knew Dec loved but he didn't find him. After 2 hours he gave up and walked home. He was close to crying when he walked along the riverside because he felt like he had let Dec down.

And suddenly, looking around one more time, he saw him. He was sitting on a bench, staring at the river. Ant remembered that spot, of course he did. And now he felt stupid for not checking it earlier. It was the spot where they had promised to always be there for each other for the first time when they had moved to London, aged only 18.

"Fuck, I looked for you everywhere" Ant sighed and he sat down next to Dec, their thighs touching. Dec looked at him and Ant could see tears streaming down his face once more. Without a word he put his arm around Dec and let him cry silently against him.

"I know" was all Ant said and he stroked his thumb lightly over Dec's side.

"Why... why are you h-here?" Dec sniffed and Ant turned his head and planted a kiss onto his head.

"Because I care" Ant whispered.