The Night I Will Never Remember

20.Is It Hot In Here Or Is It Just That Locker?

Am I really going to do this? Am I really Going to tell him that I like him?

God Im crazy.

Ok my plan is to...well I dont have a plan.

Ill just wing it. Winging it always works. Right?

i walk down the hallway, we dont have to be in class for another 20 min so I dont know where he could be.

I rounded the corner and got my answer.

He was standing there but there was something different about him. Oh ya i know whats different. Hes making out with somebody else. I saw him pull away and look at me in shock.

I didnt get to see who it was because I ran the other way.

stupid, stupid girl. Why am I even this jealous? Im not even his girlfriend. But it still hurts, it hurts to crave and to want something you just cant have.

Why would i even think for a second that maybe, just maybe I could get a guy I like. Silly me, those things only happen in books and movies. Im just not the kind of girl guys fall in love with.

Sure Logan said that he wants me to be his girlfriend but I know hes only playing with my mind. Ha hes probably even trying to play a prank on me.

Probably as soon as i would have said ok he would have told me i just got played. Damnit. But why should I be surprised? He is the biggest player out of all the guys here.

i broken out of my train of thought.

"Jamie, wait!" he ran and slid infront of me.

"What do you want Ryder? Go back to eating that girls face."

"Wait am I missing something." No shit Sherlock.

"Yes Ryder! And you would know what your missing if you werent busy making out with that-" I was cut off bu a very,very unwelcomed voice.

"With that beautiful, amazing, one of a kind, best girl youve ever met. Well that what Ryders been telling me I am at least." This girl is like a Nat at a barbecue. Fucking annoying but you cant get rid of it.

"Jamie its not what you-

"Oh Jamie, I taKe it you and Ryder have met."

"Sadly."I saw sadness creep into his eyes that instantly made me feel bad.

i think Jada could sense the jealousy i felt because she just smirked.

I am seconds away from ripping Jadas little clown looking head off.

"Oh well You should know then me and him are together now." She had a fake sweetness in her voice that made me hate her even more.

"But wait-" Ryder began but was cut off by the wicked witch of the west. Oh she isn't the wicked witch of the west? Oh I thought she was because their practically twins.

"Come on honey lets go plan some more pranks." she pulled him down the hallway.

She better be glad she left because i was seconds away from cutting her.

My eyes are watering. Why does nothing go my way! I swear i have the worst luck.

God Im never good enough. Im not pretty enough, guys dont like me. Im not skinny enough, I cant wear really cute clothes that i like because I always look fat in them. im not smart enough, yes Im in honors classes but no matter how hard I try in math I stil never get it, im not athletic enough, yes i play basketball and I do track but Im not the best. I just wish I was great at something.

everybody tells you to not give a fuck what everybody else thinks, its what you think about yourself but honestly other people think better about me than I do. I hate myself most of the time.